Surviving
by Stony RS
Summary: In which Tony is assigned to show Steve Rogers this new world and Steve is assigned to lead an unknown superhero team. And somehow Bucky got involved.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: So you ready for a flight?

His phone rang in his pocket, he tried to ignore it while taking a bunch of paperwork from his desk to his hands and back again to the desk, he was bored to death. Running a company wasn't fun. Fun was making all the devices, inventions, experiments and upgrades needed, getting dirty, playing around, forgetting the world, that was fun. But he promised Pepper to have it all clear while she was gone for her honeymoon, so here he was, reading stuff he didn't really cared about, just looking at the end of the page for a blank space he could sign at. His phone rang again, damn those persons didn't give up so easily, he felt a bit curious and grabbed the starkphone, "Nick Fury" was read in the glass screen.

"Shit" he mumbled under his breath. Usually Coulson was the one assigned to call him, but Fury? Well this one was for the record, he tried to remember something he's done recently. Nothing really came into his mind. Lost call. Whatever, he put the phone down and continue reading the papers, now it was harder to concentrate into his work, what did Fury want from him? I mean, after telling him he was not qualified to be in the Avengers initiative, what the fuck did he need from him? It was almost mean to keep calling him. Screw them, he thought and the phone rang again. Ok, this was getting weird, his curiosity bigger than his pride, he sighed and took it, answering.

"Stark why aren't you answering my calls?" It was Fury's voice and he didn't sound happy.

"I'm sorry Ma, I thought I could choose who I wanted to talk with" He could hear a huge sigh from Fury.

"You're truly hard to deal with"

"Well if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"

"I'm doubting there's a "best" side on you." Stark smiled widely, of course, he even doubted it himself.

"What's up Nick? Why all of the sudden you need me?"

"You need me more than I need you." Fury said, then it was a long pause "We've found him."

"Found who?" Stark asked annoyed, he really hated suspense.

"Captain America."

"Shit" he mumbled and dropped the phone, fuck, the guy his dad dedicated his life to find was there, not a myth anymore, the yearly expeditions he continued paying in memory to his old man weren't such a waste after all, then an idea came to his mind: The real Captain America, the guy his dad never stopped talking about, he was nervous, anxious, desperate almost to meet him, it had been his hero in all his fairy tales, or better say hero tales his mom told him every night, he even had the cards, and those bright memories of his dad being excited and saying how a rightful guy Steve Rogers was, how he always put everyone first, how he said to move on when the serum was causing him unbearable pain. He shook his head getting out of his instant daydream and picked up the phone "Hey, sorry, I'm still here" he said quickly

"Good, I was about to hang up" Fury said, his voice nearly on the edge of frustration.

"Is he, is he alive?" Stark asked

"We think he might be, he is being defrosted. You can come see him, he's in your personal labs, the ones at Seoul"

"All right" Tony said with the clear intention to go see him.

"Really?" Fury sounded more than surprised, speechless by the billionaire reaction, he could swear stark almost sounded excited. Tony understood the tone of admiration in Fury's voice and tried to hide his excitement.

"I mean, if I'm done with this huge paperwork, anyway, if he defrosts before the expected and has nowhere to stay you can tell him I've got a huge tower and multiple houses he can stay in"

"You're being just charming" Fury said impressed, mocking him.

"I don't care 'bout him, it meant a lot to Howard you know" Tony said, incapable of calling him "dad"

"I do. Keep in touch Stark"

"Yeah, right" he said not really paying attention and hung up.

Wow, those were pretty big news, he scratched his brains and lowered his sight at the pile of papers in his glass desk. He really wanted to meet the guy, his dad really made a great deal out of him. At the same time he was feeling a pitch in his chest, and then this awful memory came in, when he was 20 years old and drunk to his ass, crawling the stairs into his room, Howard got out of his lab and gave him a pity look, walked into their kitchen and took out a beer, he clearly remembered how he had screamed at Howard. "Why you just don't give a fuck?!" those had been his exact words, Howard just stood there, watching him, his cold eyes blocking every possible emotion that'd give Tony a hint. "I'm not wasting my time around some drunken spoiled kid" he said dryly and wanted to turn to his lab but Tony somehow stood up and fell at his feet "Why you hate me so much?" he said almost crying, Howard for the first time looked him in the eye with what he thought back then love, now he knew it was just pity. "I don't hate you Tony, you're just not what I thought you'd be" Fuck, he could still hear his voice echoing through his head. The pain in his chest made the arc reactor burn through his skin, "What do you expect me to be?" Tony had answer with his eyes full of tears and his broken voice. "I don't know, Steve Rogers perhaps"

He took a pile of sheets and threw them with anger, thousands of papers flying through his office, "fuck" he said while tears were falling through his face, that conversation had happened 8 months before the car "accident", he never had the chance to get his issues right with Howard, and truth is, Howard didn't even care, he never apologized or tried to take back what he had said that day. He clearly remembers going to his room and burning all those stories, underwear blankets, and toys he had from Captain America.

The sour taste in his mouth, he hated the guy. "Shit" he screamed. No answer, he was alone, as always had been. Why he kept crying about this? He now was a 46 year old grown up adult, he had to put all those issues behind him. He really had to. He cried a bit longer, at least he was alone, no one could really see him, after countless minutes he stood up, watching papers everywhere, he just shook his head, he was a mess, a truly mess, even when he tried to do the right stuff, he always ended fucking it up. He really had to get those issues done, he took a Mont Blanc from his desk and a sheet of paper, he wrote 3 issues he had to solve before he died.

1) Stop hating Captain America, if he could, befriend him.

2) Visit his dad, forgive him.

3) Let Pepper go.

He couldn't believe himself, after all this years of avoiding this, he finally came to the realization he couldn't go on, living behind a whisky bottle, and also he really needed to get out of the united states, the whole country reminded him of Pepper, Pepper and their brief relationship, Pepper in a great white beautiful wedding dress looking stunning, walking through the aisle by his arm, Pepper's hand when he had to take it and place it on the others guy hand, the pain of saying goodbye, the pain of losing her, losing her forever.

He just couldn't handle it anymore. He had to end this now. He knew this sudden braveness wasn't going to last, so he called Jarvis right away.

"Jarvis, I need the Quinjet ready in 15 minutes, I'm driving home"

"Thought you were staying at the company clearing everything Mrs. Pott left you"

"I just can't" His voice broke at the last word, and he could really swear he heard Jarvis sighing.

"I'll be ready for your arrival sir" He simply said and the connection was off.

He had a mix of emotions, he felt broken hearted, empty, alone, frustrated, he drove the fastest he could, he got there in 8 minutes. Fortunately Jarvis had already everything set up. The flight was all right, he turned off the phone and didn't tell anyone where he was heading to. He just wanted to get lost. He arrived at the heliport of the labs building. No one was really expecting him, even Nick Fury was amused.

"Stark" he said as he watched him going down the stairs, entering to the building from the roof.

"Wow, you really did take my word to borrow any building or space from me" He said watching all the changes SHIELD had made in this floor.

"It was necessary" He said

"It always is" Stark replied dryly, he really was a pain in the ass, sarcastic, cold, and hurtful. Fury seemed to understand his attitude, and he didn't really complain a lot about him, that made him angry, he didn't know why really, he just felt exposed. "Where's Mr. National Ice cube?" Stark asked and no one in the room said anything, they even looked offended, then he heard a laugh from another guy who was sitting at the corner and wearing a white coat. He couldn't be…

"Dr. Bruce Banner?" Tony asked marvelled, he read all the files about him, the guy was a genius, a gift to this world, of the few persons that kept his hope up.

"Dr. Stark" Banner said and stood up, walking shyly to his side. He stretched his hand, Tony grabbed it immediately. He really was grateful to those who really remembered he wasn't just a rich spoiled brat, but a genius engineer with 7 PHDS.

"Nice meeting you, I'm a huge fan of your theories and experimentation, also I adore when you turn into an unbreakable green big cool… guy. I just love it" Bruce seemed ashamed, he just nodded and looked away.

"Well that's adorable, now that you found each other, why don't we get into business?" It was Natasha's voice coming from a corner of the room, no one really saw her getting in, she was damn scary, Tony and Bruce took a step back, even Fury looked a bit off.

"That's right Agent" Fury said

"Captain America was successfully defrosted. He's in the recovery room"

"So you're telling me the guy's alive? After 75 years?" Tony asked shocked.

"The serum kept him alive, his body is readapting to this new environment, is going to take him some hours to finally recover, but he'll make it" Bruce said.

"Is like he lost his memory or he will remember everything about…"

"He will" Bruce interrupted him, Tony just nodded.

"We here are trying to get him into the world again, don't know how long will it take but we have to. That's why I called you both"

"I'm not babysitting" Tony said, understanding Fury's intentions faster than everyone, Fury rolled his eyes.

"Is not babysitting Stark, is just showing him the world. He needs someone familiar"

"I'm not familiar. We're complete strangers"

"You know what I mean"

"I'm not doing it, that's final. Tell Natasha"

"She has missions"

"I have a company to run, why everyone just ignores I really have a job?"

"You're impossible" Fury said.

"I could help you, I'm going to need to be near Steve to verify his health" Tony rolled his eyes, Bruce was a genius, he was nice, he really could help him in some research he was doing, taking advantage from him and having him in his place was really tempting. But babysitting some guy he hated wasn't worth the risk. "I can't Bruce, I've got issues"

"You've got issues with life itself" Fury said at the edge of anger and laugher. Tony rolled his eyes.

"He's awake" they all stood frozen at those words that had been pronounced. A knot was tied at his throat, Tony could barely breathe, he lowered his sight and felt terrible anxious, wanted to run away, fly to New York again, get lost, he shouldn't, he wasn't ready.

"Come on Stark" Banner said as he walked out of that room, he didn't want anyone to notice his weakness so he followed the scientist out of that room, he entered another room, he spotted a huge man sitting in a bed, his face buried in his big hands, he could only see blonde hair.

"I'm sorry Captain you had to figure it out the hard way, we wanted to break it slowly" Fury said trying to keep the broken man calm.

"Where am I?"

"Seoul" Fury answered, then Steve turned around, watching the digital machines, the holograms flying around in the room, the huge glass wall and the sight of a terrifying unknown city. "How long has it been?" Steve asked, no one answered."How long have I been out?!" He repeated, his voice hard, rough, almost at breaking into a scream. No one was saying anything and Tony couldn't help himself, it was hell to give the man more suspense.

"75 years Cap" Tony said and Steve for the first time looked up, he buried his blue eyes on Tony's brownish coffee eyes, he felt something inside break, turn, his heart racing, his hands sweating, his breath heavy, fucking amazing blue eyes. On the other hand Steve was speechless, of course those weren't good news, he had missed a date, he had missed a lifetime, everything was lost, he felt like if he'd rather died in war, but this guy, those brown eyes, thick eyebrows, wavy hair, damn, he looked away, he felt so weak, so exposed, intimidated by this stranger.

Tony noticed how Steve lowered his eyes not wanting to see him again, fuck maybe he had been too invasive with his look, maybe he even had blushed, damnit.

"How you feeling?" Bruce asked

"I'm all right, I just, I think I lost a date"

"I am sorry Captain" Fury sincerely apologized. Steve just nodded, uncertain of what to say.

"Where was I? How is this possible?" He asked confused. Bruce kneeled next to him, introduced himself and explained him all the serum effects that had made it possible, explained also how they had found him, mentioning Howard made an annual search for him, and that his son Tony had kept doing it even after Howard had passed away. Steve looked heartbroken when he found Howard was not alive anymore, but somehow felt anxious and happy to see his son was as good as the old man. He explained he had been frozen, and that now he was in perfect health."I'd like to thank Howards son for keeping his hope up, you know him?" Steve asked Bruce, Bruce fell silent, until Tony broke the silence.

"Anthony Stark" he said and offered his hand, Steve looked amazed, grateful, embarrassed to look away from him, stupid for being intimidated by him, but also he felt safe, safe of finally knowing someone that was related to his past. He shook his hand, Anthony was shorter than him, and looked like he was in his elder forties, dressing a black suit, white shirt, his hair messy and no ring.

"Thankyou for all the hope and work, without you I wouldn't be here" Steve said so nicely it hurt Tony, he just nodded.

"Is nothing" he said and took a step backwards, he wanted to run away, to escape, hadn't been this nervous since last week at Peppers wedding.

"I was planning you could stay at Tony's tower while we arrange some paperwork and get you a job in here, he can introduce you into this modern world, and Dr. Banner would be taking care of your health. Is that okay with you?" Fury asked, Tony was about to say it was SO NOT OKAY with him, but Steve interrupted. "No, I don't want to cause any trouble on Mr. Stark's life" Fuck, this guy was beyond limit "I can get into an apartment or a shelter… " Damnit Steve Rogers! Tony was mad at him being this fucking gentle.

"It's all right with me" he said regretting immediately every word. Why he couldn't keep his mouth shut?

"So its set" Fury simply said giving Tony a smirk and Tony just rolled his eyes. Fury left the room and Bruce followed him, leaving Tony and Steve alone in the room, Tony couldn't bare it.

"So… you ready for a flight?" Tony asked. Stupid question, the last thing Steve had experienced was a plane crash. He really was this stupid? What about being a genius? It was like if this guy was killing his nerves by just looking at him. He needed to calm down.

"I just hope this one really lands" Steve said trying to make a lame joke, Tony gave him a wide sincere smile, Steve looked down, his breath edgy, that was a fucking amazing smile! this guy in here, he had something, he didn't know what, but it was like a way of catching his pray, his charisma, his smile, everything about him was gaining his attention. Steve was feeling somehow endangered.

"It will" Tony said and opened the door, Steve followed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The List

"All right, so, how you feeling?" Tony asked while he sat at the pilot seat, handing the plane control, he felt how steve sat behind him, looking around the quinjet, all those buttons, the controls, the holographic screens, the bright lights, the ocean beneath them. He felt tiny, scared of this new world.

"Scared – he sincerely answered, Tony swallowed hard, what can you say to a guy who's lost it all? To a guy who's been out for so many years?

"It'd be weird if you weren't" Tony said and cracked him a smile, Steve smiled shyly lowering his sight, this guy was really making him feel like a tiny little deer standing at the edge of the cliff with a huge lion in front of him. He couldn't help it, it was nearly fascinating.

"You know, your dad used to say that after the serum the world was going to spin around, you know? Like a complete evolution" He said looking at him nervously, Tony forced himself a smile feeling terrible uncomfortable, if being with this guy was bringing his d… Howard to topic, then he'd be glad to crash the fucking plane into the Antarctic… again.

"Well, he wasn't wrong" Tony said dryly, Steve didn't understand why all of the sudden Tony was tense, he didn't even look at him and the plane fell into a complete and bitter silence. An hour went by, no one said anything, then between all the thoughts that were haunting Tony's mind came a stroke of guilt.

"You like it?" Tony asked in a pathetic intention to re-open conversation.

"I actually do" Steve said while he was staring to the ocean "Do you?" he asked back.

"I actually don't" Tony confessed and focused on the way back home, he really needed to stop talking with this guy, something about him made him confess himself, made him stop lying, he couldn't stand it, he felt like a kid. Unprotected. He didn't say a word until he landed at the top of the tower, it was dawn already.

"So, let me show you around"

"Where are we exactly?" Steve asked while getting down of the quinjet and entering the penthouse.

"Exactly we are at the roof garden of my pent house, not being that exact, we're at New York" Steve nodded looking around at all those tall buildings, city lights, he could see the ocean, it was an incredible view from right here, he was amazed. How could all this happen in just 75 years? He didn't recognize it.

"You've got a nice view"

"I do" Tony smiled and cleared his throat trying to win his attention back, it worked.

"Sorry, I just, I've never seen such a beautiful and terrifying landscape in my life." Tony understood and kept silence, waiting for steve to come back to reality. After few more minutes, he was back, he turned to see if Tony wasn't there anymore, but he found him staring at him, he blushed and chuckled nervously "I'm sorry"

"It's all right, I've got time"

"Unfortunately for you sir, Mrs. Potts believes you really have no time"

"What is that?" Steve was freaked out, he was turning everywhere trying to find who was talking, he looked like a terrified deer, Tony rolled his eyes and smiled, it was funny as hell.

"Steve calm down, is just Jarvis."

"Sorry to disturb you Mr. Rogers" Jarvis said

"I can't see him, where is he?" Steve had lost all his cool, he had a hysterical look, his eyes wide, his muscles tensed, his lips in a straight solid line.

"This is Jarvis" Tony opened his arms, gesturing like if Jarvis was everything "He has no body, he's an AI created by me"

"What is an AI? You mean like a person? Like, you can create life?" Steve was shocked, words coming out rolling into themselves, no clarity, his heart racing. He really didn't like this new time.

"Ok, calm down, let's get into the common area and I can tell you about him" Tony said.

"Tell me now" Steve said, his voice demanded an explanation. Tony let out a chuckle of disbelief, now he was being commanded in his own penthouse, great. Steve quickly understood he wasn't in the position to be demanding information, so he let out a sigh and shook his head "I'm sorry, I just… it's been a hard day."

"I know, let me get you into your room so you can think things straight up"

"No, I'm fine" Steve refused, he didn't want to be alone, not again, not in a place he didn't know. Tony looked at him trying to read his mind. "He must be really nuts" Tony thought and just smiled and walked to the elevator, Steve followed and got inside it. It was a private glass elevator, a lot of buttons in it.

"Jarvis" Tony said, looking at Steve like someone who's expecting a bad reaction, Steve stood quietly

"Yes sir"

"Please tell Mrs. Potts something more important than paperwork came by"

"All right" Jarvis said and the elevator's doors were open. Tony stepped out, Steve was silently following him. Tony reached to the kitchen and grabbed a mug, he hadn't had coffee for a while, maybe even 10 or 12 hours, he was feeling weak.

"You want some?" He asked, Steve was petrified looking at the whole wall of glass, how could it be possible to build such a huge glass building? Everyone was able to see him, how could Anthony live like this?

"No, thanks" Steve said, then hesitated a little "I… I'd like to ask you a few things Anthony" Steve said shyly, each word falling slowly from his lips. Tony smiled, he was expecting it, but he didn't know if he could handle it, but then he saw those watery blue eyes and that poor broken smile, his blonde hair and pure white skin, he took a big sip from his mug. He really couldn't say no to this guy, he was having enough of a rough time to give it more of it. He could be the only one able to help him, and even if he didn't want to, he couldn't refuse to it.

"Call me Tony" Tony said and Steve smiled.

"Tony, what do you work with?" Steve asked and Tony almost asphyxiated from the chuckle meeting the sip of coffee at his throat, he coughed a bit and then looked at him amused. After all this years, Steve was asking him about his personal life. It wasn't reasonable.

"You can ask me about Howard or Peggy you know" Tony said and Steve's eyes went even more watery.

"Is Peggy de…"

"No, she's not" – Tony said and Steve for the first time cracked a huge wide smile. It left Tony speechless (hard to get actually)

"Wow, that's been the best news I've heard for a while, is she near?"

"You'd like to go see her? I can call" Tony replied instantly

"Oh please!" Steve almost begged for it. Tony felt a knot in the throat, talking to "Auntie" Peggy wasn't something he did often, actually it'd been years since the last call she'd gave him. He bit his lip "Is something wrong?" Steve asked nervously.

"No, I just… " he was about to explain why it did cost him so much to call her, but he swallowed his lame lifetime story, he wasn't going to give in that easily, he had an iron barrier around his heart, unbreakable, untouchable. He liked it that way, and he couldn't allow himself to change it "It's all right" he mumbled with a big fake smile and Steve just nodded.

"Jarvis, get me Peggy Carter on the phone please. After some painful seconds of silence, a voice picked up."

"Oh dear Tony!" her voice was heard, Steve could easily recognize it, but now it sounded a bit different, like a granny, old, sweeter, he smiled widely and his eyes got full of tears. Tony couldn't believe what he was doing for this guy he didn't even know.

"Hi Pegs, how you doing?"

"Well, I'm still alive kid" Tony laughed at the joke and turned to find a sweet-in love steven rogers sitting at his favourite chair with a big smile on his lips.

"I, I just was calling to see if I could go downtown to catch up with you"

"Is everything all right dear?" Peggy sounded amazed

"I… I don't know" He said sincerely.

"Oh it's all right Tony, you can come whenever you want. I… I heard about Pepper, sent her a gift " Oh God, he didn't need this. He really didn't need this right now, Tony shook his head and shut his eyes.

"I'm all right, don't worry, it's been a year after we split up"

"I know dear, I also heard that, but I know she meant a lot to you. She really is a great girl"

"Yes Pegs, she really is and now has the right husband"

"You're good enough Tony" Okay, this was enough, he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Okay, so I'll go this afternoon to your place, don't make anything, I'll bring some food." He said quickly and hung up.

"Done" Tony said without looking into Steve's eyes and walked out of the kitchen, walking around the flat.

"Thanks Tony" Steve sounded grateful, like if he had just came alive.

"No prob. Come, I'll show you your room, I told Jarvis to get you some clothes, they're on the closet, meet you at the living room in half an hour" He said and ran to the elevator. Pressed the button that lead him to his workshop. He saw the mess, the machinery, the holographic screens, mugs of coffee and paperwork, and he felt safe again.

Half an hour went like water through a hole, Jarvis told him that Steve was already dressed and waiting at the living room, and Tony, well, he was dressing his yesterday suit, his messy hair, his white shirt with big stains of oil, and his hands were totally greasy. Fuck. He took the elevator to his penthouse.

"Jarvis, tell Steve I'll be down in a sec."

Steve Rogers wasn't a guy who could be easily impressed, he was righteous, honest, and brave, he had an innocent but creative sense of humour, he was really patient, but at the same time when he exploded he could be really mean. He always knew what was the right thing to do, and never hesitated at following rules or obligations that had to be done.

"Mr. Rogers – he jumped a little when he heard that voice again" Mr. Stark will be down in a while.

"Thanks" Steve simply said. He had no words to describe everything he had learned and watched since he was awoken. Of course had always been some 10-12 hours, but still he felt anxious to discover everything this new world had to offer. "Hey" he tried to talk to that invisible man.

"Yes?" Jarvis replied right away.

"May I ask our name, please?" Steve asked.

"I'm Jarvis, creation of Mr. Tony Stark."

"Thanks Jarvis" He said, he was ashamed of asking him more questions, he remained silent till he heard the elevator's door open and saw Tony walking out of it. He was impressed. Tony was wearing some tight ripped jeans, black converse, a black and white t-shirt that had a print on it and Steve could read "iron man" in it, who was that? A band? A movie? He was also wearing a black blazer, his smile was charming, his eyes focused on the tiny thing he was holding in his hand. In that moment Steve felt his heart racing, what was wrong with him? He had this odd feeling at his stomach, kind of dizziness, and stupidity.

"Whenever you want Cap" The old one said looking right into his eyes, Steve unconsciously blushed and stood up, walking into the elevator, Tony smiled and followed.

The elevator stopped at the basement, Steve saw a lot of sport cars parked in there, he couldn't believe it, where this cars? They looked like tiny jet planes to him, all of them seemed to be new. He was staring at all of them, until his eyes landed at the one Tony was standing at its side. It was grey and black, aerodynamic, light, it seemed fearless.

"Is that a car?" Steve asked

"No, it's a magic broom" Tony joked and Steve threw him a hatred look, Tony smiled widely "It is not just a car, it's a Bugatti Veyron SuperSport, the fastest and coolest car in the world, improved by me, so that makes it even better."

"How do you have enough money to buy this cars, this place, that food, I don't understand how everything went so fine after war. Did Howard inherit you all of this?" Steve asked and now was the time for Tony to give him a hatred expression.

"You just have no idea of who I am. When you learn about google, it may help you to understand many things."

"Google?"

"Oh God" Tony whispered and pressed the accelerator, the car was damn fast, and Tony's driving skills made him even cooler, Steve was delighted and scared to hell as Tony was taking the highway to Brooklyn. He had a hand on the glassy digital screen at the car and the other one at the steering wheel.

"Pay attention to the road Tony" Steve said and Tony's smile was wide.

"You nervous?" Tony asked teasing

"No."

Then Tony started fooling with the steering wheel, the car responded quickly and reacted even more dramatically thanks to the high speed he was driving in.

"You sure?" Tony said while the car was moving into constant induced curves at 350 km/hr

"Yes" Steve sighed while he watched the road petrified

"Well, maybe we should get it more interesting" he changed velocity, 420 km/hr could be seen at the screen, Steve felt how inertia was making him unable to move, it felt horrible, terrifying, but at the same time watching that man laughing at his nerves while he sang the song that the car was playing (something saying highway to hell)

"All right I am!" Steve said almost screaming and Tony smiled even bigger, he stopped getting curvy in the road but didn't lowered his speed.

"Tony we can really get killed"

"We won't" Tony said while singing that song, Steve hadn't heard this kind of music, it was so explosive, and full of an "I don't give a damn" sensation, it had this punch that made his heart ache, but as he saw Tony singing it, he could tell this song fit just perfectly with the guy, he seemed like if he really didn't give a damn about living, or dying, he looked at that 20 year older than him and saw nothing but freedom. He didn't agree with him, but he really was liking him, so much he couldn't hide his smile anymore as watching him scream "Highway to hell" while driving.

"You're a mess" Steve thought out loud between laughs and tony cracked him one of his most charming seductive smiles.

"Now we're knowing each other."

Although, the moment was interrupted by Jarvis voice.

"Sir I know you said you didn't want calls from anyone but…"

"Jarvis, if I said I didn't want calls from anyone, why are you even bothering?" Tony said, now he sounded a bit pissed, Steve was kinda getting along with that invisible guy.

"Mrs. Potts insists."

"NO!" Tony almost screamed

"Wow Tony, that's a way of saying hello" Pepper's voice filled the car, Steve turned frenetically around.

"Is the phone" Tony said pointing at the screen, and Steve just nodded feeling rather stupid.

"You're not alone?" Pepper sounded surprised.

"I'm not"

"Oh Tony, did you grab another hooker?" Pepper asked and Steve gave him a complete offended disapproval look.

"I did that just once, come on Peps!" Tony complained.

"I don't know what to expect, you really are full of surprises."

"Well, that's my charm isn't it?" He smiled.

"It is Tony. Now, can you please explain to me, why you're not done with that huge paperwork I left you? You have 1 minute."

"Saying I got kidnapped and had to re-design my arc reactor and suit will help?"

"Not really."

"So what about saying I'm here driving to Brooklyn with Steve Rogers at my side."

"Not working either."

"Really, 'cause Peps, you know me."

"Shit!" she yelled, Tony smile went wide "Is he there with you?" She asked.

"Yes, Steve say hi."

"Hi madame" Steve said shyly

"Oh my God! Tony Stark why on earth did someone trust you Steve Rogers?" Wow, now that was offensive.

"Right in the kokoro Pepper" Tony said putting a hand on his chest while having the other one steady at the steering wheel.

"Oh God! Why are you driving him to Brooklyn, he can't see all of this all of the sudden, you need to break it slowly into him Tony, it can cause serious damage on him."

"Why everyone keeps saying we need to break it slowly? Isn't it more painful?" He asked ignoring completely Steve's shy smile.

"Tony don't go messing around with Steve, you know what it meant to Howard."

"I do Peps, that's the exact same reason why I'm driving him to see Peggy, I know this is off the rules, but you know following's not my style." Steve looked at him with an outrageous fascinated look, damn this guy was unbelievable.

"I know you're the best one to be with him, I do trust you, is just that, he's been out so many years."

"I know" Tony simply said and heard Pepper sighing on the other end of the line.

"You really keep getting off my records" she said almost with a chuckle

"Well, to define is to limit. Does that mean I got rid of all the paperwork you left for me?"

"You did… again. Just be nice" Pepper said.

"I will" Tony replied with a huge smile and hung up.

"You just saved me from a great pile of paperwork, what can I do to pay you back?" Tony asked and Steve smiled.

"You're doing more than enough"

"Nothing's never enough, wanna grab something to eat?"

"Whatever's fine with me" he said and Tony pursed his lips.

"I've got an idea"

Tony drove him to Peggy's house with many packs of Italian food and a huge box full of dresses he and Steve had picked out at the mall for Peggy, he said hi to Peggy and ate with them, Peggy almost had a heart attack while seeing Steve alive, her eyes full of tears, Steve hugged her so tight Tony felt really uncomfortable of being there, so he apologized and said he had some stuff to do and ran away, telling Steve they could give him a call when they wanted him to stop by and drive back home. Steve of course insisted him to stay there, but when Tony Stark had decided something, there were no turning backs.

While he was out on town he walked through those old streets, trying to remember everything Howard had said about Steve, he was amazed by how unexpectedly they had bond between each other. Tony felt like if he knew him for a while. While walking he saw an old bookstore and smiled widely, he entered and started picking out books from the place, he picked many about the world war II, cold war, Vietnam war, Hippies, The 2000s, and literature classics. He paid for them and walked out the door with 20 incredibly heavy books in his hands, he pushed them inside the car and drove away, he was trying to get into some cinema or something. He was feeling not so lame, after Pepper left him this was the first time he was: 1) Sober, 2) out of his workshop, 3)alone 4)not feeling miserable.

Then, the phone rang, it was peggy's number

"Hi?" Steve's voice sounded scared of the small object he was holding

"Hey Steve"

"Hi Tony!" he almost sounded excited as he heard his voice coming through a tiny cellphone he had borrowed from peggy.

"You want me to pick you up?" Tony asked

"Yes please, or if you can show me the way home… your home."

"It's fine I'll be there in 5 minutes" Tony said

"All right, thanks, be safe" Steve said and hung up.

When he got into Peggy's house he found a miracle, Steve Rogers was smiling widely, his blue eyes had recovered all the glow that a 20- something kid should have, he was impressed, Tony said his goodbyes to Peggy and promised to be back soon, Steve got into the car and Tony hit the road back home. The car was silent, Tony didn't want to ask anything, if Steve was ready to tell him something, he was there to listen.

"Tony, all these books weren't here right?" Steve said as he accommodated all the books Tony had randomly dropped at the car.

"Oh, no, I almost forgot. I just bought them."

"Are you studying something?" Steve asked while a curious look slid through the covers of those books.

"No, it's a gift I bought for you" Tony naturally said.

"Are you kidding me?" Steve asked almost screaming.

"I'm not" Tony said.

"I can't accept them, it's too much" Steve said turning into an adorable shade of pink.

"Hey, you really have to read 75 years of stuff, if you read it on google you can get messed up."

"Is google a book?" Steve asked and Tony rolled his eyes.

"You know, I made a list" Tony said and took a paper out of his jeans. He handed it to Steve.

"What's this?"

"Read it... out loud" Tony ordered.

"Internet, Starkphones, Food, Museums, Traveling, Stark Enterprises, Tech (maybe workshop), Movies, Music, Clothing (urgent), Social movements. All full of lessons about the world and how it dramatically turned into a chaos in almost 76 years" Steve read his terrible handwriting and looked at him confused "Is this a list of stuff I need to learn?" Steve asked.

"Nope, is a list of stuff I need to show you" Tony said and Steve tried to give him a smile, but he couldn't, sounded like an ice cold water bucket in his skin. He didn't really knew he wanted to learn how the world had changed, he was scared of being so many time with Tony, he was starting to get odds feeling about him.  
Then a mental image of Peggy telling him to take this second chance and live hit him, he was going to try to live. So he just nodded and dug his eyes into the open road.


	3. Chapter 3

It was almost night when they got back home, Steve was silent all the road, Tony once in a while stared at him wondering what did Peggy say to make him look so alive, he was curious, leaving doubts for Tony to analyse usually was a disaster, he kept even nights analysing and throwing hypothesis, he couldn't be calm until he was certain about everything. He didn't ask, he kept silent until he parked and both got out of the car. They entered the elevator silently. Steve took breath like if he was about to say something, and Tony's phone rang. He picked up.

"Yup?... You kidding me! I can't, I don't think I can make it" Tony said as he watched his clock "Nop, definitely not making it... For real?" the elevator's door opened, Tony walked out and Steve followed, focused on Tony "I mean, I wouldn't care, but I'm not alone...No! shit, I didn't grab any hooker! Why you people keep asking that?, I just did it once!" Steve's face muscles tensed. "Ok, what about me making upgrades on your suit and you getting rid of this... I'm not telling you to solve my life, is just an issue, and I know damn too well you can get it cleaned up in a sneeze, so you have 3 seconds, take it or leave it " silence "There you go!" Tony smiled "Yup, I'll catch up with you tomorrow, won't forget about it, night!" Then he hung up.

"It seems you really have a dames issue" Steve said shyly, Tony smiled.

"I actually do, nothing to be proud about" Tony said and steve smiled.  
Tony was about to go into the elevator again to go to his workshop and he saw Steve trying to follow, he turned around and Steve stopped abruptly.

"I'm sorry… I thought" Steve said.

"It's all right, it's time for you to go to sleep, and for me to go to work."

"You work at nights? I thought night shifts would be by now useless"

"Well, I work 24/7, I'm an engineer. And no, night shifts are not useless. See you tomorrow" Tony said, entered the elevator and disappeared

It was 10 o'clock, the city was still alive at night, Steve walked to the living room, standing behind the glass wall, he was breathless, everything was so utopic, like being inside of Vernes' or Huxleys' brain. He let out a sigh, it was like a dream and a nightmare at the same time, he was happy to find out that Peggy lived fully, he really regretted not making a move, not kissing her enough, not getting to that date… He hadn't realized how tears were falling through his cheeks, it was terrible. Bucky was gone, Peggy was gone, Howard was gone, everything he knew was now an antique. He was somehow glad that Peggy had had a happy marriage, kids, grandchildren, and now living his senior years in company of her books, her cats, and her family. She was still a sarcastic badass. In the bitter of his tears, Steve smiled, "not everything's lost" those were Peggy's words, "you're alive Steve, life, God, the universe gave you a second chance to live. Stop crying around and take it", Steve had replied "Well Peggy is my first day in here" and she had smiled and said "so what? Is never too early to live"  
He tried not to be sad and shook away his tears, she was right, as always had been, he needed to give this new world a second chance. He took all the books from the couch and walked to his room, the first one he took was the biggest one, the title was objective "World War II" He opened and started reading.

"Jarvis, the time please" Tony asked and pulled away from the engine he was playing with, all his tools in the floor, a big oil container opened at his side, his face greasy, his wavy hair wet in sweat.

"3:48 A.M. Sir, I might suggest for you to go and get some sleep."

"I'm not done yet" Tony said and kept on working. He didn't want Jarvis to notice his interest in Steve, so he was doing his best not to ask him about Steve, but then he laughed at himself, he was trying to hide from his AI, that was pathetic, so he took a deep breath and tried to sound the most naturally he could ever sound like.

"So Jarvis… where's Steve?" Tony asked.

"Captain Rogers is now asleep"

"So you mean he wasn't some minutes ago, right?" Tony asked again

"You want a full report Sir?" Jarvis asked, teasing.

"Hell no! I just… well yeah, but I mean, not in that way you know"

"What way may I ask?" If Jarvis had a face he could swear it'd be cracking him a smile, trying to annoy him.

"You're far cleverer than what I wanted you to be"

"Don't worry sir, I'll always be at your side" Jarvis replied

"If you're not I can always turn you off, you know"

"Isn't it too early to threaten me?" Jarvis asked and Tony smiled.

"In fact it is. Give me a report please"

"Captain Rogers was in the living room, he stood there like half an hour just silent and crying, then he took all the books you bought and went to his room. He turned off the lights at 3:14 A.M"

"Thanks buddy" Tony said and continued back to work.

"Sir, is almost 4 A.M. and you have a pile of work to keep on"

"Coffee will do"

"Sir, let me remind you, your body has shown some not so good variations lately"

"It's okay Jarvis, not a big deal"

"It could be in the future"

"Then let us be there to worry about it" Tony said and the lights turned off "Come on Jarvis!" Tony complained.

"Sir, I must insist, you need to get some sleep, you've been sleepless for 74 hours" Tony rolled his eyes.

"Fine" he just said and walked out of his workshop, when he entered the elevator he could see how the lights went on again and he saw Dummy re-accommodating his tools. Shit, that damned robot was going to mess all around. He hit the button that got him directly to his penthouse, he walked to his bedroom striping his clothes in his way, he arrived to the bed just wearing his black tight boxers. In less than 5 minutes he was already caught in an endless sleep, or at least it seemed like it. Then the fire alarm started and he lazily opened his eyes.

"Jarvis what the fuck! Shut it up!" Tony shouted, he was really pissed off. He rarely slept, but when he did he usually slept more than 12 hours, he didn't know what time it was but he could swear it was before noon, and that always made him mad.

"I'm sorry sir, but you must go immediately to the kitchen, there's a fire going on in there" Tony rolled his eyes, why on earth there was a fire in his kitchen?!

"I don't even cook Jarvis"

"Sir, you really need to get there" Tony cursed and got up, he was really mad, he walked to the elevator and the elevator didn't open. "Sir, you need to take the stairs, in case of fire the elevators don't work"

"FUCK!" Tony now was really pissed.

He got down to the common areas and he found a small fire in his kitchen, he took the fire extinguisher and turned it out, when the fire was out he could see a frying pan, and next to the stove some eggs. What the hell? Then he turned around and found a terrified Steve Rogers with a bucket of water in his hands.

"I'm so sorry Tony, I just, I'm really sorry, I can pay up the damage" Steve said quickly, turning red while talking. All right, so he got this guy to his house, bought him books, drove him to Brooklyn, even chatted with him and now this guy was turning everything on fire. What the hell was wrong with him?! He really was mad, he exhaled and bit his lips, trying no to let fly all those offensive words he had in mind.

"What the fuck were you doing?" Tony asked trying to sound nice, but he didn't achieve it, he was rough, his eyes sparkling in anger, a frown on his forehead, Steve understood the damage and lowered his sight.

"I am sorry Tony, I just wanted to make us some breakfast, after everything you've done for me, I… I just wanted" He said the last words as a mumble and stood there quiet, like a little kid expecting to be grounded by his grumpy old dad. In that moment, Steve reminded him of himself when he was younger and set up on fire some work Howard had, he clearly remembered Howard saying terrible things to him, so he closed his eyes and let out a big sigh.

"It doesn't matter, I mean, you don't need to pay it back, I can get it fixed right away" Tony said nicely. Steve looked up surprised.

"I'm sorry Tony, sorry this didn't work out and I woke you up right?" Steve asked, his blue eyes full of innocence. Tony let out another sigh, where this was heading to? He couldn't be mad at this guy, he even thought he was in some odd way, adorable. He face palmed himself, and gave Steve a big smile.

"What am I doing with you?" He said and Steve blushed.

"I'll try to keep away until Commander Fury assigns me somewhere else" Steve said and Tony's smile broke, he didn't want him to go… well at least not this soon.

"No, everything's fine, I just really need to start with that list" he chuckled "okay, I believe is going to take you some weeks to get the basics and Internet, then we can scratch it and move to the next one" Tony said and Steve nodded blushing.

"I'm sorry" he repeated

"Stop saying you're sorry, please, it's driving me nuts" Tony said and Steve tensed "All right, come on, we're gonna go to grab something to eat, then we'll start"

Basics about life.

1) Kitchen

"So you're telling me I don't need fire to heat food?" Steve asked and took a step back, getting even more away from the stove

"No you don't, it's electrical you see" Tony said and pressed the digital buttons next to the stove "Come, get close, it won't bite" Steve walked and stood next to Tony, he was taller than him, bigger than him, and Tony somehow felt protected with him by his side "See, you adjust the temperature and then it turns electrically on its own. You also program the exact time you want to heat the stuff you want to heat" Tony said and Steve looked marvelled.

"This is so amazing! I mean, you can really have your food end up like recipes" Steve said admired and Tony just nodded with a shy smile

"I don't understand why you care so much, you can just grab the phone, make a call and have some people get you food"

"I like making my own food" Steve said and smiled "I can make you food too!" he said excited and Tony shook his head

"I like it the old way, well the new way. Calling for food" Tony replied and watched how Steve was understanding the small digital pan that controlled the stove.

"This is the fridge, you had of these back then right?"

"Yes" Steve said a bit annoyed by the question.

"So this is electrical too, and here's the digital screen, it helps you to regulate how much freezing you want" Tony said and smiled awkwardly making himself a joke about Steve being frozen, then he turned serious again, it wasn't something to laugh about.

2) Google

"So google is like an encyclopaedia? But better?" Steve asked. It had been a week since they were living together and it was the fifth time Tony wanted him to learn how to use google.

"Is really not that hard, you already know how to turn your lap top on, now get on the internet and type google" Tony repeated at the edge of desperation, he saw how Steve took note of everything Tony said in his tiny notebook, he hopelessly smiled, it was cute.

"I just don't get it right" he said frustrated while slowly typing, like an old 90 years old who has terrible sight. It didn't work out, and he tried again, hopelessly failing. He dug his head in his hands, Tony gave him a squeeze in his shoulder

"Try again" Tony said and Steve nodded, failed again. He had won a war, he wasn't going to give up at some machine, he tried again, and again. Tony left and when he got back at night he saw Steve smiling widely, waiting for him at the kitchen. A mug of coffee already done for him, Tony lifted his eyebrows and walked cautiously and grabbed the mug.

"See this" Steve said with a high pitched voice, he placed the laptop next to Tony, turned it on, got into google and searched something, all by himself. Tony smiled widely, this was almost too adorable to be legal, he laughed.

"You got it right!" He said and Steve nodded proudly. "What you've been searching all this time?" Tony asked interested.

"I haven't, I just got it right like an hour ago, and practiced until now" Steve said and Tony smiled.

"All right, you have a sleepless night ahead"

"Why?" Steve asked.

"You just learned how to use google, you won't get any sleep any longer" He said, took the mug and headed to the elevator "Thanks, by the way" He said and raised his mug, Steve just nodded, he felt a bit of disappointment and emptiness, he hadn't seen Tony all day and when he finally got home, he just saw him a few minutes. He took his laptop and walked into his room, the first thing he googled "Tony Stark" 37,500,000 in .35 seconds. Wow.

He clicked at different links and started reading from different pages, occasionally he closed the window and started all over again. Hours went by, Tony was right, he wasn't getting any sleep this nigh, no one would have after knowing they were living with a famous billionaire, genius, playboy philanthropist. Steve's heart raced when he found a video in which Tony publicly admitted he was a superhero: Iron Man. Damn. So he was living with a genius that graduated from the best Engineering collage in USA, that had 7 PHDs and judging by the videos he found, gave some amazing graduation speeches, the genius was also a billionaire who inherited howard's company and made it grew a 480%, turning himself into the third richest man in the world. The company was about weapons, Steve bit his lip, he felt in a complete disapproval with the guy google was showing him.

He also found a video in which Tony said he wasn't going to make weapons anymore, Steve felt a bit more comfortable. Until he found a complete disturbing video of Tony having sex with an amazingly young and gorgeous woman, then that video let him to another video of Tony walking naked and drunk around the stark expo, Steve closed immediately all the windows, he really felt curious about watching them, but also felt like if it was a disrespectful action from him, like if he was being disloyal to Tony. Deep, deep inside he knew it was not his morality, but his feelings, watching him with another person made him feel strange, bitter, sad, broken. He didn't know why, but he really didn't want to give it a try. When he finally got out of those webpages he found an article written by Dr. Bruce Banner, he could remember the name, the title was "Tony Stark, a portal to a new age" He read it twice and didn't understand much, it was too much science for him, the only thing he could memorize was "arc reactor" he somehow wanted to ask Tony about him.

Sunshine lit up the room, Steve looked at the digital watch at the bottom of his laptop 7:32 AM. He smiled, Tony was right, he wasn't going to get any sleep anymore.

Tony was still working at his workshop when he asked Jarvis the time.

"7:40 AM sir" Jarvis replied.

"Is Steve sleeping?" He asked

"No, he's been awake all night" Tony cracked a smile

"Doing what?" Tony said with a dirty thought of Steve finding out about porn.

"Googling sir"

"Googling porn?" Tony asked

"Not really" Jarvis replied, giving everything a shade of mystery.

"So what's so interesting that left honourable Captain America without his precious sleep?" Tony asked teasing.

"You sir. He's been googling you all night long" Jarvis replied and Tony remained silent, he really did not expect that. He lifted his eyebrows and gave Jarvis a smirk.

"Well, that's interesting enough" Tony said and got back to work.

3) Starkphones

3 weeks had flown by, Steve somehow after finding out who Tony was felt more intimidated, he was confused, the guy the media talked about was really different o the guy he was meeting daily, Tony was always busy, but when they got some time together, he was always nice, not polite, he didn't respect him, not anyone else, he didn't even respected himself. But he was nice, always trying to help him and making his days a bit less boring.  
Steve was sitting at the living room, watching youtube videos about john lennon and yoko ono, when Tony walked inside, Steve turned to meet his eyes and Tony smiled. Damn. Steve was getting this kind of messy nervousness when he was around Tony, he didn't know what it was, he was suspicious, but didn't want to dig into it too much. He was scared.

"So, I have something for you" Tony said and Steve shook his head.

"Stop spending your money in me" he complained

"Is not my money, well it is, but I didn't buy this" Steve gave him a disapproval look "No, I didn't steal it. I just took it out from the lab, is the new starkphone 7, I just ended up upgrading last week, it'll be out in a few months, I wanted you to have one" He said and handed Steve a small black device with a white, blue, red case.

"Funny" Steve said sarcastically and Tony smiled

"I know, right?" Steve just rolled his eyes, Tony really was impossible.

"So how does this work?"

"It might take a while..."

And so it did, a week went by and every night Tony was back from work or from his workshop went to Steve's room to help him, he was really slow typing, and learning, but he had motivation, and that was enough for Tony to stick around. After one whole week, he was beginning to enjoy his new starkphone, Tony smiled proud.

4) Going out.

He was bored to death at this investors meeting, nodding and making intelligent jokes about scientific and economics, investors were marvelled with him, he really wasn't. He just wanted to be off, Pepper was back today so finally he was getting some free time to spend it around on his projects and Steve. Because, after 1 month and a half living with Steve he really had grown close to him.

Well not close like Pepper or Bruce (which by just e-mailing and seeing him twice a week had gained his trust, he even thought of Bruce as a friend). There was something about Steve that made him run after an hour, things used to fly naturally, he felt safe and comfortable and he was never bored by Steve or his questions and babbling about every possible topic Tony could ever imagine. He was not bored by his innocence and his puppy eyes, he even felt touched. He didn't have a heart to treat him roughly. He was liking him a lot, he tried to deny it, but he felt like falling for him. He shook his head trying to sweep that terrible idea away from his mind. Then his phone vibrated, he could read "One message from Steve" he smiled and opened it.

"Tony how do I text someone?" – Tony smiled widely and some investors looked at him curiously, since when economics and statics were so much fun? "Sorry, go on" Tony said still with a big smile on his lips. He typed.

"Steve, you are texting" After some minutes his phone vibrated again.

"I don't get it, I want to text you but I can't, this is not working"

"Steve, you are already texting me"

"Really?!"

"Yes" – Tony was really trying not to laugh his ass off.

"Oh, I think I am. Well this is exciting"

"It is. How's your day so far?"

"I went out running, spent some time figuring this out. I read something funny and was afraid I could accidentally"

"Accidentally what?" – Tony replied

"Oh I'm sorry, this is giving me a hard time" – Tony smiled, Steve was fucking adorable. He typed that and then deleted it, no, he could scare Steve away.

"So what did you read?"

"Something about sexting, like people can have sex through phones, I'm scared" – Steve replied. Tony really tried to be patient, while he was answering in 20 seconds, it took about 3 to 5 minutes to Steve to answer back. But it did worth waiting for.

"You wanna try it?" – Tony teased

"Of course not!" – Steve replied, Tony smiled.

"You know, you've been there for a long time, we really need to start to get out"

"Where?" – Steve text came.

"The world" – Tony texted back.

"Are you asking me out?" – Tony couldn't believe his eyes, Steve was now teasing him.

"Fast learner. I am actually. Would you go out on a date with me? What'd you say?" – Tony replied.

At the Stark Tower in New York, sitting in a couch with a bowl full of Doritos was Steve Roger almost about to get a heart attack. He didn't know why he had teased Tony, of course it was a terrible idea, how does a virgin even expects to tease a player? He was such a dumbass. He left the phone resting at his chest and covered his face with his hands. "Shit" he mumbled. He didn't curse, but now it went by naturally. His heart was beating so fast he could feel his hands sweating, he bit his lip and re-read the last text Tony had sent him. He didn't know what to think, what to expect. Was Tony messing around with him? Was this a joke? Why he was feeling so happy and excited that Tony had asked him out?

"I don't know" He texted back. Just a few seconds and a new message got in.

"I'm Tony Stark, you really have to think it twice?" Steve read and smiled, almost chuckled.

"Well, then there's nothing to reconsider" – Steve replied.

"So that's a yes?" He read.

"You got me" Steve replied and turned it off. He bit his lip and curled up his toes. Then it hit him like a bus. "You got me", he was totally honest, Tony really had gotten him. He was falling, falling hard for a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. And he was liking it so much it scared the hell out of him.


	4. Chapter 4

5) Dating

"Jarvis, how do I look?"

Tony Stark wasn't a man who needed someone's approvement. He really wasn't the man who asked anyone's opinion, he had an unveliebeable trust in himself, which was his gift, he trusted in people, in what people were capable of, he believed you had to be everything you always wanted to become. 'Cause if you are an atheist, just like him, then you really don't have anything left after death. You just get to have the daily breath to live up to it, to live fully. But now, he didn't know why and he didn't want to dig into it, but he was feeling a bit insecure, well not insecure, maybe less secure than what he usually was.

"You look great Mr. Stark" Jarvis replied.

"Great like, the daily great or like the stunning great?" Tony asked while looking at his reflection at the complete wall mirror he had at his bedroom. He was wearing tight jeans, a white shirt, a black blazer and some new black converse. His hair wavy and messy as always, he had some ray-bans sunglasses and was deciding whether to put a tie or not.

"Like the stunning great I believe" Jarvis said.

"You believe or you sure?" Tony asked again.

"Sir, you really are nervous."

"You think?" Tony asked sarcastically while putting around his neck a black skinny tie.

"I know for sure, I'm reading your human corporal responses and I can tell you haven't been this nervous since when you were dressing for Mrs. Potts wedding."

"Damn Jarvis, you really know how to give a man some security" Tony said sarcastically and Jarvis understood.

"I'd say without the tie Sir"

"Really?" Tony said looking pissed at the ceiling, he had already done the knot.

"Captain Rogers is waiting at the living room"

"Fuck" Tony said and messed with his hair a bit more "Jarvis, why am I being so fucking retarded about this? Is just a date you know, I've been in countless dates all my life, suddenly I'm losing my cool" Truth is, at his lamest and loneliest moment Tony had built Jarvis up, not only to do all the stuff Pepper didn't want to, but also to keep him some company. He bit his lip feeling hopeless.

"Sir, I truly believe you haven't liked anyone this much before, not even Mrs. Potts. But I also believe you are incapable of losing your cool"

"I don't like him like that Jarvis, is really different" Tony said.

"Well, I might not be a genius as yourself, but I can see through everything from a better angle than you"

"You're daring me Jarvis" Tony said mocking while taking his wallet and walking through the door, the voice followed him.

"Let's make a bet" Jarvis said and Tony laughed, like really laughed. Jarvis truly was smarter than what he thought he'd be. He didn't say anything, he arrived at the living room and found Steve in some nike black snickers, blue jeans, blue long-sleeve shirt, his blonde hair, his pale white skin, and those amazingly soft sharp blue eyes. Tony swallowed hard and smiled widely. "You look stunning" were the words that crossed Tony's mind, but he quickly tried to wipe them away.

"You looking good Cap" Tony said and Steve blushed a bit, looking down his eyes filled with a bit of disappointment? Tony couldn't tell.

"You look handsome Tony" Steve said shyly and Tony smiled.

"Always do" He said and both chuckled a bit.

He could feel steve's muscles tensed, the atmosphere was heavy to breath in, he really needed to stop being this nervous and play it cool, 'cause after all he was the one that used to tranquilize Steve's nerves.

"Come on, is not like we're getting married" Tony said and Steve laughed, the air was lighter.

"I mean, is not even possible"

"What? Me getting married? Or you marrying me?" Tony asked and saw how Steve blushed, both were now at the basement, stepping out of the elevator, Tony held his car key and pressed a button, the car came driving itself and lifted his doors, Steve's jaw dropped.

"I'm starting to believe everything's possible in this age" Steve said and Tony smiled.

"You mean, to marry me?" Tony asked and Steve rolled his eyes. Tony watched breathless, it was really sexy when Steve got embarrassed and annoyed by him.

"I meant the car" Steve said, his voice sharp.

"Yeah sure"

Tony drove like an hour, Steve was asking him about the city, the changes, the architectural movements, Tony was delighted, unlikely like everyone thought, he really liked art, well of course not every type of art, he thought those classics were pretty boring, but now, the modernism and new age of art, that really captivated him.

Steve saw the open road and wondered where they were heading to, but as always Tony didn't say a thing, he just smiled and said "knowing where you're heading to usually takes away all the fun" so Steve just sighed and tried to remember this roads. He couldn't. Everything was different. Then suddenly Tony turned around and took another road.

"Changed your mind?" Steve asked

"Actually I'm kidnapping you" Tony said and Steve smiled widely

"You know you're physically incapable"

"Are you calling me weak?" – Tony teased.

"Yes"

Tony smiled and kept driving, he really had changed his mind. I mean for the first time in a year he was feeling not only not miserable but "happy". He knew it wasn't going to last, 'cause every time he thought he was already set, something new happened. It was his karma and it had happened to him since he was a kid, like when he finally got brave enough and wanted to fix his problems with Howard, he died. When he was already leading Stark Industries and being the best at it, he got kidnapped. He was at his healthiest moment of his life living happily, and had poisoning in his blood thanks to the palladium, then when he got over everything and was iron man and about to propose to Pepper, she dumped him. So yes, his happiness was always closely followed by bitter and disappointment.

So why not enjoy it while you still have it? He didn't know what he had with Steve, he knew it was friendship, but he also knew he was falling, he could feel it, the way Steve smiled and talked, and when he tried to tease Tony. Damn, he could even say he already loved this kid. His innocence, his joy, his temper and the way he used to bit his lip and roll his eyes every time Tony got up into his nerves. He was starting to love him, and he knew, he didn't know why, but he knew this wasn't going to last.

So he just sighed and looked at him, looked at the way he was there, he had never felt this way, and he really didn't care, cause it wasn't going to last, because Tony Stark just couldn't be happy. He could taste happiness but not live in it. He knew, he had already gave up on it. He didn't deserve it, and he was fine with it.  
So he drove to his plane hangar, they were two white boxes intersected that showed a bit of what was inside, at the top of the place "STARK" could be read in black, Steve was looking amazed, Tony drove inside it, he saw 4 parked planes, a helicopter, a quinjet, and some other "things", Steve really didn't know what were those.

"So you're bringing me to your Hangar? I mean, is not a bright place for kidnapping someone, I can fly one of those" Steve said pointing the largest plane, Tony smiled.

"The kidnap will happen after you get into the jet"

"Then, there's no really a kidnap you know?"

"You can close your eyes and I can pretend I am kidnapping you" Tony said and walked to a black tiny super aerodynamic private jet, Steve followed looking at every detail of that place.

"You really own a lot of stuff Tony "

"And you haven't seen the half of it" Tony said and took out his jet key, he opened the co-pilot door and bowed, he was inviting Steve in, the blonde one just shook his head and smiled, he got inside and bit his lip nervously. Tony closed the door and walked to the pilot seat, he opened the door and got inside.

"You know how to fly this?" Steve asked puzzled while looking at all the screens in the jet.

"You kidding me? I am an expert"

"Since when? – Steve asked amazed.

"Last week" Tony said and Steve swallowed hard.

The jet took off.

"Can I at least know where we're heading to now" Steve asked.

"No one's going to rescue you steve, then why you wanna know?"

"That's mean" Steve said and Tony felt a bit guilty, but he just smiled and unconsciously took Steve's hand in a way of saying "sorry", Steve looked terrified and pulled away. Tony was hard as rock, but at that moment he felt a bit broken, and pursed his lips remaining tense. Steve could feel him.

He didn't know what to do, he was shocked when Tony grabbed his hand and he was sweating, to only watch Tony gave him a heart attack, holding his hand was simply impossible. He didn't want Tony to feel rejected, he just wasn't used to it. Well… of course he wasn't, after being frozen so many years, but he clearly remembered how at his time gay people were harassed, beat up to death. He felt scared, unprotected, he remembered his mom's words when he had accidentally said he liked Bucky, she sat at his bed, looked him in the eye and said "You know this weird people is not accepted in heaven, we don't have to treat them wrongly Steve, we must respect. But keep in mind, God created Adan and Eve. All right? You can't like a boy honey, that's a disease, a mental disease and, it's an unforgivable sin"

Steve felt the weight of his past, his manners, his ideology, he felt guilty, impure, not doing the right thing, damaging himself and Tony. No, tony no. He couldn't let anything bad happen to Tony. He loved him. Damnit! His eyes started to get watery and looked down into the clouds, he was trying to hide himself from Tony. He was so weak, so breakable, he was fucking Captain America! He couldn't be this soft. It was a moral debate in which he was the worst of them all, he was sick, he was sinning, he loved a guy. And not just any guy, he loved a narcissist, weapon-maker, playboy, egocentric, and liar. This was getting worse at every second he spent with him. He was terrible.

Tony stood quiet, he could feel the air tense up again, I mean, does this kind of uncomfortable situations were going to be a daily basis? He couldn't tell, he sighed in exasperation, he was about to tell Steve something hurtful, cause he was hurt, and every time he felt weak he managed to make the person that had hurt him feel even weaker. But he saw, he caught in a glimpse of an eyes Steve's watery eyes and desperation. So he just bit his lip and looked at him.

"Hey Steve, you're great" He said and could hear Steve swallowing while he tried to discretely wipe his non fallen tears. Tony pretended he didn't see him.

"You are amazing Tony, I just, I'm having a bit of a problem, understanding the social norms and changes this age has made"

"Fuck social norms. Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind" Tony said and Steve chuckled.

"Have you always been this immoral?" Steve asked and Tony laughed.

"You haven't seen a bit of it"


	5. Chapter 5

6) Traveling

"Welcome to Mexico" Tony said in a playful tone and discretely watched Steve from the edge of his eye, he was anxious about his reaction. Steve was looking out of the window, his face pressed at the glass, he was seeing too many trees, a bit of a bay, the ocean, and a rocky river. Mexico was a country he had never heard about, of course he knew his existence and localization thanks to Google, but he had never met anyone that had travelled here before.

"I've never been here before" Steve said in a sigh and a wide satisfaction smile was drawn in Tony's lips. This was exactly his intention. He lowered height and landed in a huge grass extension, surrounded by trees, when the engines were finally shut Tony opened the door and looked at Steve.

"Come on" Tony said a bit annoyed by Steve's calm and his slow steps while looking at the landscape they had, it was a jungle, sunshine filtering through the trees, giving it different shades, a lot of guacamayas of beautiful vivid colours were staring at them, some were flying above them.

Tony didn't love this place, being here in the middle of a jungle which was at the middle of no-where to be found meant no reception, no internet, no technology, and that always got on his nerves and ended in a terrible mood. But Pepper used to love this country, this tiny hidden paradisiac places, they used to run away from everything and hide in here, once or twice a year since they were close friends, lovers, and then well, he haven't had come back since the breakup.

As the years flew he had learned to like the place, he could feel inner peace, tranquillity, a disconnection from everything, it was an encounter with who he really was. He thought that after 3 months of being in a full technological world, Steve should have a break and travel to a place in which tech and things weren't important.

"It's wonderful in here" Steve said standing at the middle of the jungle, Tony was starting to get moody, his sneakers full of mud while hundreds of different birds were flying over him. He truly was regretting this.

"Yes is great" Tony said sarcastically and Steve smiled, his eyes looking at some red guacamaya who was resting on a tree less than a meter away from Steve, it was gorgeous.

"Is paradise in here" Steve said breathless and walked carefully closer to the gucamaya, he took out a tiny notebook and started sketching the bird, Tony rolled his eyes annoyed, how long was this gonna take? He waited trying to pull together all the patience he could possibly have. After of what he thought was eternity in hell (10 minutes) he saw Steve smiling and handing him his sketchbook, Tony took it and lifted his eyebrows, it was really an amazing job.

"Well you had to do something right" Tony said and Steve rolled his eyes, walking to the house that could be seen a mile away from them, Tony felt curious and started flipping through the pages, a huge wide smile formed on his face, after the guacamaya drawing, was a sketch of Tony himself holding the coffee machine, his dirty hands and face, his defined wrinkles, his teasing smile, he kept looking, the next drawing was Tony again, now his hair messy standing in the middle of his lab behind those holographic screens, a mug of coffee in his hands, the other one was Tony sleeping on the couch, he kept flipping pages, the first drawing of the sketchbook was Tony in the kitchen with a mug of coffee and a sincere smile behind it. He counted 20 drawings of himself, 3 of the neighbour's cat, 1 of central park, 2 of the subway, 1 of the city, and the last one was this new one. His smile was wider, Steve really liked him, that wiped away all of his insecurities and lifted his ego, he gave a smirk to the jungle, he was feeling lucky, until Steve turned around.

"What are you doing?" Steve nearly screamed and rudely took the sketchbook out of Tony's hands.

"Nothing" Tony said with a big smile and walked ahead Steve, finally they were at home. Steve seemed really upset, he walked faster and blocked Tony's way.

"Does your mother never told you its rude to get into other peoples' stuff?" He asked violently, Tony's smile faded a bit, he had never seen Steve being so mad, he even looked cute like this, then he thought, he was the only was capable of making honourable Captain America loose it. He smiled proudly, Steve's anger increased.

"Not everything's a joke Anthony" He said pissed and tried to walk away.

"Come on Steve! I didn't see anything, I just laugh out of nothing" Tony lied and followed Steve

"When will you stop lying? Cut it off" Steve said and Tony rolled his eyes, he was starting to get pissed.

"You're making a great deal out of nowhere" Tony growled.

"Tony I don't like you being this way"

"Oh I'm sorry Capsicle, I can't be who you want me to be" Tony said mad and Steve looked hurt

"I didn't mean it that way" Steve said annoyed by this new nickname.

"Then what?" Tony teased

"Never mind" Steve said and rolled his eyes, pushing him away and walking to the house, Tony grabbed him by the arm, Steve was stronger, he could easily avoid it, but he let Tony did it.

"Say it" Tony said breathless

"I don't like you lying to me" Steve said trying to keep his cool.

"Then what can I say?" Tony was looking for a fight "That I was watching those 20 freaky stalking drawings of me?" Tony said and regretted it immediately. Steve looked astonished, he could feel how his cheeks were now red, he dug his eyes at the grass and abruptly shook his arm, getting rid of Tony's grip.

Great.

After 20 minutes of watching Steve sitting at the small living room looking at the dried sunflowers at the table, Tony took out some courage and walked near him, he handed him a mug of coffee, Steve took it without looking. Tony exhaled, he didn't know what to do, he was incapable of saying "sorry" but this awkward ice law was killing him.

"I'm not good with words but…"

"I'm sorry Tony" Steve interrupted Tony, Tony was amused, the guy Howard didn't stop talking about was nothing like this guy, he thought Captain America was brave, unbreakable, cold, that he did what it had to be done without complaining about anything, but this guy, this blonde guy looked pretty awful, weak. "I know I'm not what you expected me to be" Steve said, still his eyes locked at the flowers on the table.

"I usually don't have expectations" Tony said smiling, Steve didn't look.

"I know you had some, at least of me. Your disappointment look gives you away Tony."

"I know is hard to be back from another age and shit" Tony said trying to sound empathic.

"World changed too much, I don't know If I'll be able to fit in"

"First, is not about fitting in, but about being who you are, second; the world's the same damn place, you just have to see it by yourself. And third, you already know how to text in the newest starkphone" Tony said and Steve chuckled.

Silence kept coming, Tony was almost done with his coffee, Steve just gave it a sip and left it at the glass desk, next to the flowers. The scene was depressive. Tony tried to come closer to Steve, he landed a hand at Steve's leg in an aim of supporting him. Steve looked scared but didn't pull away, both brown and blue eyes met. Tony felt a jump in his heart, nervousness thrilling him up, suddenly he felt a desperate need to kiss Steve, to hold him. But he just swallowed and cleared his throat.

"Come on, let's get changed, I have a tight schedule"

Steve smiled and stood up, he didn't know why but Tony always knew how to make him feel better, he still felt a bit ashamed of all his stalking to Tony, but was grateful that Tony seemed like if he didn't really mind. He followed Tony into a wide room, with a huge walking closet and a luxurious bathroom, everything was glass and surrounded by nature, it was wonderful, he just saw one bed.

"Tony, where am I sleeping?" Steve asked nervously

"Here" Tony said and left his suitcase in the bed.

"And you?" Steve asked a bit worried.

"Here, you have a problem?" Tony asked a bit nervous

"No, I don't" Steve said and tried his best to put on a smile, he walked to the flying terrace next to the tiny living room the bedroom had, outside was a floating glass pool "This is your house?" Steve asked.

"Yup" Tony said and started pulling clothes from the suitcase.

"You packed already? You knew where we were coming?" Steve asked

"Always the tone of surprise" Tony said and gave him a smirk "This is yours" He said and threw him a bunch of clothes and underwear.

"You know, I'm starting to think I might get a job, living of you is not really my style" Steve said a bit blushed

"Come on, you have a job already, at the moment Fury sees you're ready he'll start calling"

"You think?" Steve said feeling a bit sad by the thought of being torn apart from Tony, Tony was feeling the same way but tried to ignore it

"I'm sure. Come on, put on a bathing suit" Tony said while stripping his white shirt. Then Steve for the first time saw him without a shirt, and saw the arc reactor incrustated in his chest

"What is that?" Steve asked amazed at that bluish white light emerging from his chest

"This is what keeps me alive" Tony said

"You have a heart disease?" Steve asked preoccupied and walked closer to Tony, Tony smiled and shortened the distance between them, Steve looked broken, Tony smiled, he hadn't seen anyone care about him beside Pepper. He slowly took Steve's hand and put it in his arc reactor. Steve shivered at the coldness of metal, he delicately drew the triangle inside it.

"Let's say, you're touching my heart" Tony said.

7) Arc Reactor

Steve tried to know more about the arc reactor, but Tony kept saying "later", they went to Chiapas National Park, Steve was marvelled about it, he took many pictures with his starkphone and sketched 10 new sketches of the landscapes and 5 more of Tony, but now asking him permission to draw him, Tony had just said "All right, under 3 conditions, first one, I need to look even better, second, you have to show it to me, third one, you need to sketch us together" Steve had swallowed hard under his last condition, but had agreed.

It was 10 pm and they were driving to a fancy restaurant with a private beach, Steve was excited, couldn't stop talking about this place, he had already fallen in love with it. Tony was tired, almost sleeping while driving, he had walked a lot, climbed a lot, refused to swim, and hadn't eaten for a whole day, he was exhausted.

"I don't get it, you usually don't sleep nor eat in days" Steve said while Tony parked.

"It's different, I usually don't walk nor climb, or watch myself from those huge alligators"

"They were crocodiles, and weren't huge, just regular sized" Steve said and got off the car, Tony walked next to him.

"I'm not a huge fan of nature"

"I'm loving this place" Steve said and both walked inside the fancy totally opened restaurant, it was Italian and seafood, tony had a special table alone at the beach surrounded by fire pits and lamps, a personal waitress and the most privileged look at the ocean and the night stars, Steve blushed when he saw all the preparation. He had never been in such a wonderful scene. They sat at the table, Tony ordered a bottle of Champagne

"You know I can't get drunk right?" Steve asked.

"You know I'm an engineer right?" Tony said giving him a smirk, Steve smiled

"So?"

"My job is to fix stuff"

"It can't be fixed"

"Let's make a bet" Tony said teasing him.

"All right, I mean, what do you want to lose?" Steve asked while sipping from his glass of champagne.

"Why so sure?"

"Howard told me, I trusted him with my life" Steve said and Tony could feel his stomach turn and a shudder of jealousy and anger through his veins, he rolled his eyes and took a big sip from his glass

"What do you have against him?" Steve asked confused.

"You're not getting the full drama of my life in just one night kid" Tony said, and the word "kid" made Steve feel somehow smaller, younger, unexperienced "Anyway, If I win, that of course I'm going to, you have to do whatever I want, whenever I want to" Tony said, Steve smiled

"You can't ask for something you don't know yet"

"Of course I can, anyway you're trusting everything to Howard aren't you?" Stark said and lifted an eyebrow, then gave him a wide smile.

"All right, same goes for me if I win" Steve said and Tony handed him his hand. They shook hands sealing the pact. Tony took out from his blazer a tiny bottle full of what it seemed water.

"What is that?" Steve asked.

"Is another type of alcohol I created in the hope to get you drunk"

"You really did plan this out, didn't you?" Steve chuckled

"I hope for the best" he said and spilled the bottle in the champagne.

The night went by, Steve couldn't take any more "laters" and asked him about the reactor. Tony tried to explain it simply, taking all the scientific terminology, Steve was nodding at the right moments and every time got a more preoccupied look on his face.

"So basically is just a matter of time" Tony said and took a sip from the champagne, filing Steve's glass again.

"I don't know what to say" Steve said speechless.

"It's all right, you don't have to say anything. Look, that song they're playing, I love it" Tony said awkwardly trying to change the topic, Steve looked hurt.

"Tony…"

"Come on, let's dance" Tony stood up and took Steve's hand, Steve stood and walked with Tony, both standing in the middle of the night, surrounded by fire lamps, the ocean at meters from them. Steve was blushing hardly.

"Isn't it awkward two guys dancing like this?" Steve asked when he felt Tony's hand by his wrist.

"You feeling awkward?" Tony asked

"No, not really, but people might wonder…"

"Steve, forget about the people, is just dancing" Tony said and turned with Steve. Tony wasn't a person who loved to dance, but that song always kept sending him thrills through his whole body.

"Who is it?" Steve asked

"mmm?"

"The one playing the song"

"Is called Arrival of the Birds and Transformation, from Cinematic Orchestra" Tony said leaning closer to Steve, he was shorter, he kept looking at the sea, trying to avoid Steve's eyes on him.

"I thought you just liked what you call rock"

"I'm full of surprises"

They weren't really dancing, just leaning to each other moving slowly, listening the crash of the waves and the slow music playing behind them, then suddenly Steve buried his face on Tony's neck. Tony tried to pull away but Steve was holding him tight.

"I don't want you to die Tony" Steve said in a whisper, his voice breaking. No one had never told him that, the older one swallowed hard and chuckled a bit, he hugged Steve tighter.

"Easy there big guy, I still have a bet to win" He said, avoiding all the cheesy atmosphere and broke apart, taking Steve's hand and pulling him to the table.  
Steve looked at him like he never had before, Tony could swear he saw a shade of love behind those blue eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

8) Alcohol

Tony smiled in satisfaction as seeing a complete drunken Steve Rogers chatting enthusiastically about a topic he had already lost track of.

"And that's the time Bucky thaught me I don't have to tell everything to the teacher" Steve said and took a big sip from his champagne glass.

"Well, seems you really like this Bucky of yours" Tony said while taking a piece off his desert. Steve had already eaten a tiramisu, three slices of cake and was now eating ice cream with the last of the champagne bottle that was left.

"Not as much as I like you" Steve said honestly without having any trouble and smiled widely, Tony chuckled, he definitely enjoyed watching Steve being so honestly wasted.

"All right kid, I believe is time to go home" He said and smiled, while standing up.

"I haven't finished my ice cream yet" Steve said with puppy eyes and Tony scratched his hair in desperation

"I can buy you more tomorrow"

"Is not about buying stuff Tony, is about being"

"Being?"

"Being here, the moments. Life is just that, moments" Steve said and Tony gave him a smirk, he liked the artistic cleverish arguments Steve usually gave.

"You're so deep I can't even see you dear" Tony said teasing, Steve rolled his eyes

"I know you think the exact same way, I see it in your eyes"

"Oh really? What else do you see?" Tony asked and took Steve's hand encouraging him to stand up, Steve looked annoyed, he drank the last of the alcohol from the bottle and stood up, he gave the waitress a huge smile and both walked out of the restaurant.

"Oh God! Is so beautiful in here!" Steve repeated and ran to the ocean, Tony followed him.

"Steve don't come closer, you're too drunk, don't get into the water, there's shark at nights" Tony said breathless for running until he finally reached Steve, his sneakers already inside the ocean, great "Come on Steve, come here" Tony said, Steve had water up to his ankles.

"I want to go swimming" Steve said as a child who's never been in a beach before, who doesn't know the risks.

"Steve we can come tomorrow, get out of the water" Tony said, his voice at the edge of breaking, he was scared.

"Come here Tony" Steve said and tony looked at him, they were 3 meters of water between them, he liked the ocean, the sand, the beach, the warmth, but he hated to swim, mostly because he didn't know how to do it. His greatest fear: drowning.

"Steve I can't swim" He said in a whisper, already angry and annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Steve understood and walked to Tony, he gave him a hug, Tony didn't know how to react, so he stood there, steady as he felt how the big guy was covering him "Come on, let's go home" Steve said and took Tony's hand, they walked to the car in complete silence.

Tony drove quietly as he saw Steve messing around with his starkphone, changing music every 20 seconds. He didn't complain. They arrived at the house. Tony got out of the car and Steve didn't, Tony opened the co-pilot door and saw Steve waiting there for him. Sitting like if nothing had happened."Steve, come on" Tony said chuckling

"I'm feeling everything move, and I feel so happy, and light, and lucky" Steve said while taking Tony's hand and getting out of the car, he really was heavy for Tony to lift, so with all the force he could possibly have, he helped him get into the house.

"Tony why you never say anything?" Steve asked, burring his blue eyes in Tony, he leaned closer, Tony pulled away, his arm around Steve's wrist.

"What do you mean? I'm always talking"

"Nope, you babble, don't say a thing" Steve said and Tony smiled, having Captain America drunk was priceless, it was worth the pain in the back for carrying him upstairs.

"Well, I don't have much to say" Tony said and left Steve sitting on the bed "There you go" He broke apart and watched as Steve fell backwards and laid on the bed, his arms open, and his legs hanging.

"You do, you just are afraid"

"Am I?" Tony was entertained as hell, he was taking off his wet sneackers, then he started taking his blazer and shirt, Steve was watching him attentively as he stripped.

"Yes" Steve said after a few more minutes, Tony felt a bit intimidated by those blue eyes watching him, but tried to gain some braveness and took his jeans away, standing in just boxers.

"You need to strip too" Tony said as taking the blankets out of the bed, Steve didn't move.

"Isn't this weird? Like two guys sleeping together" Steve repeated and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Maybe it is, but I don't really care" Tony said and got into the bed, leaving Steve over the blankets at the other side of the bed, Steve crawled up and shortened all the distance between them, his nose almost touching Tony's.

"I don't understand" Steve said, Tony opened his eyes, he was haunted by those blue eyes at less than 10 cm from him, his body at the edge of the bed, he couldn't really run away.

"What you don't understand Steve?" Tony asked.

"You" Steve said and Tony chuckled.

"I don't even get myself, don't worry"

"No, I get you. I just don't get why you trying so hard to hide it" Steve said and Tony laughed.

"You get me? How am I exactly?" Tony said teasing, no one never knew him.

"You are an alcoholic, narcissist, player, cold hearted, stubborn, disrespectful liar" Steve said and Tony chuckled impressed.

"Well, you really get me" He said, he really didn't expect Steve being this mean.

"I get you. You're an alcoholic cause you have issues about everything, a narcissist because you're a genius and you know it and you like to babble about it because it makes you feel superior to use those techn- techni… " Steve couldn't get that last word right.

"Technicism" Tony said

"That. You know is not that hard, Jarvis helps me every night to study your work" Steve confessed, Tony looked at him speechless, he was impressed. Jarvis didn't tell him anything of this. It was nice to know where his AI'S fidelity was lying on. There was a moment of silence.

"So? You didn't finish" Tony said trying to distract himself from Steve's face leaning so close to him, it was too much to bare.

"Oh, stubborn cause that's the way Howard was, I believe you inherited. Disrespectful cause clearly you have issues with authority, you make your own rules and play it your way, and a liar cause you don't want anyone to really know you" Steve said.

Tony kept silence. He was shocked, no one, not even Pepper had told him all of this, how does a guy who he's been knowing for 3 months had read him so well? Was he so obvious? No, he didn't think that, everyone else thought he was like that just because he could.

"I forgot, player and cold hearted because you're afraid of getting your heart broken" Steve said. Tony couldn't smile, he felt exposed, weak, breakable. He had a reputation, he needed to stick to it.

"You know you're just trying to find something good in me, truth is I am who I am because I can. Nothing behind it" Tony said edgy, he tried to sound cold, even aggressive.

"Liar" Steve said and chuckled.

They didn't say anything else, but both were still awake, looking into each other's eyes. An hour went by, Tony was starting to get sleepy when he heard Steve's broken voice.

"Tony"

"Yes?" Tony said

"I'm afraid" Steve said and Tony instinctively leaned closer, he crossed an arm over Steve's body, Steve buried his face in Tony's neck, Tony still could watch Steve clearly, the arc reactor was giving him enough light to see Steve's terrified eyes.

"Don't be afraid"

"I think I might be a horrible person" Steve said swallowing the last words he was unable to say out loud: "for loving you", his face dug deep into his skin, he could feel Steve's breath in his neck, he smiled and dug his head deeper into Steve's blonde hair.

"You're the closest to perfection, Captain America, role model for the kids and all that shit" Tony said and pulled Steve away so he could see his eyes, Steve's eyes were watery.

Then he couldn't handle it anymore. He leaned closer and caught Steve's lips in a kiss, the gravity of his lips was inescapable, Steve first stood petrified, then he felt how Tony was trying to move closer, so he opened his mouth and felt how Tony's lips were slowly sucking his, he felt Tony's tongue inside his mouth. He didn't know what to do, he tried his best to follow Tony.

His eyes watery and his heart racing, he had never felt this kind of adrenaline, he was anxious, nervous, he felt how Tony bit his lips and he let out a moan, then all of the sudden Tony was over him, kissing him deep, he could feel the engineer's hands rubbing his back and that sent him shivers everywhere. Tony broke apart and licked his neck, biting under his ear, that sent a big wave of pleasure through his body, he moaned loudly and broke away ashamed and scared of his own sound.

Tony's heart was beating fast, he had never felt this way. It was like if his lungs were full of the sweetest air possible and yet he was breathless. He hadn't realized how long he was waiting for this, to touch, to feel Steve… then he saw Steve's terrified face and understood. Cap probably was still a virgin, this was just too fast for him, so Tony being the asshole he was probably would just go for it, take it as an unblocked mission and fuck the guy, but then he realized he was fucked.

He was in love. He didn't want to hurt him, so he just smiled and slid to his part of the bed and hugged Steve, the younger man hugged him back, almost desperate.

Somehow Tony had the unlimited power of making everything that was close to him a complete mess, even Captain America. Steve was breathing through Tony's skin, the arc reactor pressed in his forehead. He could feel how the dizziness of drunkness was fading away. Tony Stark had just kissed him. It was unveliebeable. Was he dreaming? Why have he done this? Was he just messing around with him? Was he playing? Was he… no, of course he didn't feel the same way. Steve tried hard to shake those amazingly terrible ideas off his head. He was so afraid, he had told Tony. But he hadn't completed the sentence. He was afraid of loving him.

With eyes open was Tony Stark listening Steve's heavy breath at his chest, he didn't want a relationship. He wasn't ready, he never was. He was doomed. Doomed and with big blue balls.

Great.


	7. Chapter 7

The morning came by, the warmth of sunlight made Tony feel even more cozy, he stretched and let out a big yawn, then as lighting hitting earth came all the memories of last night, he could even feel Steve's lips on his. Damn. He tried to escape but found himself trapped around two big and muscled arms. Shit, he slowly turned around and found Steve's face in complete peace, asleep as an innocent four year old incapable of breaking a glass.

He tried to loose himself from Steve's grip but was impossible, he let out a frustrated sigh and turned to see the ceiling. Maybe Steve didn't remember anything of this, maybe he was too drunk to even think about it. If he didn't then he could avoid all this and still be his friend. He bit his lip, he didn't want it to happen, but he knew it was the best for both of them.

But what if he really remembered about everything? Then what was next? Will he need to stick in a relationship? Hell! He didn't want that, but Steve wouldn't allow them to be fuckfriends, will he?  
He felt the sudden need of a dry scotch. Then he felt a soft kiss in his cheek, he tensed and looked to his right, he found a beautiful Steve with wide vivid eyes and a kind smile.

"Morning" Tony said and Steve smiled wider

"Morning Tony"

This was uncomfortable. Tony smiled and tried to get rid of Steve's arms, Steve understood and let him go.

"I'll make something for breakfast" Tony said as an excuse and left the bedroom.

Steve stayed there and hugged the pillow next to him, he breathed in it, sucking through his nostrils all of Tony's scent, it was almost like a drug. He was loving this guy like he had never before. He bit his lip, was this wrong? Was he going to hell? He always did the right stuff and nothing really came his way, what about trying something new? It wouldn't kill him. He smiled at the empty spot in the bed, he was going to risk it for the first time in his life, break the rules.

Downstairs at the kitchen was a doomed Tony Stark. His hands holding his head. What was this invasive feeling rising from his chest knotting his throat? He didn't want to hurt Steve, but he didn't want to move on, to commit in a relationship. It was too soon. He heard how the coffee was ready and took a mug, he saw his reflection at the glass wall, he saw all those years at his workshop deep into those wrinkles that were now surrounding his eyes, he saw his rough skin and how it made it through all those drugs and alcohol, he had refused to live truly. He had always made a smoke curtain to protect himself, but it had hurt more than being actually hurt. Cause he had been surviving, not truly living.

He took a deep sip at his mug, he couldn't allow it anymore.

"Tony are you all right?" Steve asked and he felt the need to hug him, so for the first time in his life he didn't stop himself and hugged him. Steve somehow felt and understood his desperation and hugged him closer to him, giving him a soft kiss in his hair, then Tony stepped back and looked at him, he gave him a wide smile and got on his toes to reach Steve's lips. Steve was now fully conscious and he did enjoy this even more than last night's kiss.

They at the same time had the same thought. "Let's give it a try"

9) Swimming

"I told you I can't swim" he nearly screamed and stood with arms crossed at the sand, not even letting the breeze to wet him.

"Tony, I can teach you" Steve said and tried to pull him into the ocean, Tony tensed and tried to run away, Steve captured him from the back with a hug and kissed his neck.

It had been three days being in this country, and two after their first kiss. They naturally were behaving as a relationship, Tony didn't complain and Steve didn't ask, they were just living without inhibitions, feeling themselves. Usually Tony was the one making out with Steve, and Steve tensing when he was scared of going further, and Tony had kept waiting, he hadn't even gave him a hatred look, he just hugged him and gave him a short kiss on the forehead.

"Steve please don't" Tony said when he felt how Steve was dragging him with a hug into the ocean.

"You're almost 50 years old and haven't been on the ocean!" Steve said excited.

"I'm not almost 50, I'm 46, all right?" Tony said pissed and Steve gave him a short kiss on the lips "You're not buying me with kisses"

"You sure?" Steve said and raised an eyebrow, fuck this guy was getting good at manipulating Tony.

"Not really" Tony said and chuckled.

"Come on, trust me" Steve said and took his hand.

"Damn, this is costing you like a hundred kisses or a blowjob you know" Tony said and Steve blushed.

"I've never made a blowjob before" He confessed in a whisper, his face red as tomatoes, Tony laughed at him.

"Twice for amateurs" Tony said and Steve rolled his eyes and pushed him playfully.

"Come" Steve insisted and pulled him closer, Tony could feel the water covering his feet, he kept on walking, then it was up to his ankles, his knees, then the water was too high for him and he tried to run away, but Steve immobilized him. Tony looked at him with terrified eyes.

"I'm taking care of you" Steve said and kissed him softly, Tony just gave him a frightened nod and kept walking, the ocean was too strong for him, it made him bounce in a while, the water was now up to his chest. "Does the arc reactor…"

"It's all right" Tony said and Steve nodded taking him by the waist and getting deeper into the ocean. Tony couldn't reach the bottom anymore, not even stretching his toes, so he panicked and crossed his legs around Steve's waist.

"It's all right, stay calm, being stressed drowns you"

"Don't talk about drowning when we are at the middle of the ocean" Tony said dramatically and Steve laughed.

"Trust me"

Tony looked deep into Steve's eyes and found nothing but loyalty and love, so he told himself to be brave and let go, and he did. Steve took him by the waist and started teaching him how to float, how to swim, how to never go against currents and how to jump a wave right before it's about to break.

After 2 hours Tony was starting to like this, he could now float and he loved jumping waves with Steve, he even was laughing so hard he didn't recognize the sound of his laugh, he hadn't felt this happy in a while, he looked at the blonde with bright blue eyes and smiled, Steve was laughing too, messing around with the water, swimming around while holding Tony to his side. They shared countless kisses, from innocent and quick, to passionate and wet.

Rebirth wasn't a tragedy, but an opportunity, Steve thought he needed to lose it all, to know what having something meant

10) Drugs

"It's called Peyote, it won't harm you" Those were Tony's words as lying at the top of a pyramid watching the dawn.

"I don't smoke"

"You know it's medicinal and it also helps you to speak to the Mayan gods, I don't know if your super metabolism will shut it down, why don't you try it?" Tony said trying to convince poor Steve who was holding a weird large pipe at his hands.

"You first" He said and Tony smiled wide, a bit of natural drugs wouldn't kill him, not after his heroin decades. So he took the pipe and inhaled. It was heaven. Steve watched him closely, he saw how Tony closed his eyes and smile wide.

So he took the pipe and inhaled too.

Suddenly he felt how all the colours turned alive, he was feeling anxious and energized. He started chatting nonsense and saw how Tony was smiling wide, he inhaled again, this was so good, the dawn was brighter, the reds in the sky were vivid, it was like being inside the craziest luscious dream. He laughed out of nowhere and offered the pipe to Stark, the older one saw it hesitant but refused.

"Why not?" Steve asked smiling "This is great!"

"I believe is enough" Tony said and took the pipe throwing it into the jungle, Steve looked at him with a hatred look

"What are you doing?! I'm feeling great"

"Is just about knowing something, not becoming addicts"

"What do you mean?" Steve said and saw Tony's eyes looking deep in the ground.

"I am… was an addict" Tony said in a low cold tone.

"Addict of what?"

"I was a drug addict, sometimes I still am an alcohol addict" Tony said and saw how Steve face came from delighted, to angry to broken "I'm sorry, I'm really fucked up"

"Then why did you bring that!?" Steve asked almost yelling at him.

"I wanted you to know the world, the better and the worse" Tony confessed and smiled poorly "I'm sorry to keep corrupting you"

"Is not about me Tony! Is about the risk you always are getting into" Steve said mad again.

"I'm all right, I can fight it now"

A tensed and uncomfortable silence came as a cold wind. Then Steve spoke.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve asked leaning closer to Tony, taking his hand into his.

"I don't know, there's nothing to say, I was a shitty person who had a lot of money and spent it on marijuana, cocaine, heroin, almost broke the company you know?" Tony said with his voice broken.

-"Why did no one help you?!"

"Why should they? It was my fucking decision and responsibility to take"

"Is not fair"

"I'm not who you think I am" Tony warned him and Steve kissed him deep.

"You are, you just don't know it yet"

Tony almost broke to tears, he hugged the blonde tighter, he was the first person in this shitty world who made him be a better person, who made him do everything the best he could, he trusted him.

11) Sex.

It had been a week and a half after going on vacation together, they were now at a small village called Patzcuaro in Michoacán, they had travelled to 6 different states, and were staying at a small resort that was meters away from the lake, it had an amazing look of the village and the deep dark of the lake. Steve was reading a book at the bed and Tony kept looking at the village, he loved this place.

"You know, this is my favourite spot in Mexico"

"Really?" Steve asked surprised.

"Why? You don't like it?"

"I do, but I think I like Guana… Guanaj-uato better" He said fighting the syllables to say the word, Tony smiled, he was holding in his hand a glass of red wine.

"I love it here, no one recognizes me, and the town is so warm and welcoming"

"And it has this fantastic beverage"

"Atole" Tony said and Steve chuckled.

"I don't understand why they have such complicated names"

"It's their roots" Tony said and drank from his glass, he could easily spend more days in here, there was nothing to really do, but just watching the people, the town, the environment was enough to forget that this world was a complete and evil mess.

Steve walked and stood next to Tony, he hugged him from behind, both looking at the night village with all the lights on.

He didn't know if it was the wine, or the town, or the king sized white bed and all those white flowers around the room, he just felt in the mood of being closer to Steve. He turned around and kissed him, deep and rough, like he had never before, Steve was unarmed, didn't know what to really do, so he kept going, following Tony.

Tony pushed him in the couch and kissed him deeper, his legs opened and his butt resting at Steve's lap, his hands were messing with Steve's hair and his mouth desperate by the need of feeling him closer. Steve left out a moan when he felt Tony's tongue inside his mouth

"Argh Tony" Steve said and broke away, Tony still was topping Steve, he gave him a luscious look and kissed him again, this time Tony could feel how Steve opened his mouth even more, allowing him to enter, Steeve tried to follow the starved rhythm that Tony was keeping, he could feel how the engineer's hands were rubbing his back and grabbing his ass, heat flew through his body, a groan trapped in his throat.

Tony broke the kiss and started licking and biting Steve's neck, his hand got inside his jeans and rubbed Steve's ass, he found where his hole might be and started to draw circles with an amazing ability. "Tony, no" Steve said while feeling waves of pleasure from his ass to his dick. Tony stopped and looked at Steve, trying to read him. Steve's eyes were shut, his lips slightly opened, and a huge shade of pink in his cheeks. He was enjoying this. Not like all the times before that they were making out and Steve stopped with a scared look, now he looked drowned in pleasure.

It was an instant turn on, he kissed him almost aggressively and grabbed Steve's cock from over his jeans, he felt how Steve was trembling. He had already unbuttoned Steve's shirt, he bit his lip in desperation. Steve could feel Tony's warm lips kissing his chest, his neck, it sent him shivers around everything.

"So you liking it?" Tony asked, his dirty voice gave Steve a shivering shudder, he moaned.

"Tony please" He said his breath edgy.

"Yes?" Tony was really enjoying how he could feel honourable Captain America trembling beneath him, he was feeling how Steve's huge cock was swelling at his grip.

"Tony… I'" he moaned when he felt how Tony had already unbuckled his jeans "I'm a virgin" He said the last words in a terrified soft whisper. That made Tony lose it completely, he already knew it, well he supposed it, but hearing it from Steve's lips was the hottest confession he had hear. He kissed him hardly and ripped his shirt, Steve tried to keep on but he looked a bit scared.

"Don't worry darling, I can fix it right away" Tony whispered in his ear and licked it, Steve's breath was heavy.

"I'm scared" Steve said.

Tony couldn't believe his eyes, this was so amazingly hot, a scared innocent blonde virgin, and him, himself Tony Stark there to break it all, to pervert him, he smiled widely and couldn't control himself, he stood from Steve's lap and dragged him by the hand to the edge of the bed, he pushed him and ripped Steve's jeans and boxers, just to reveal a huge swallowed pinkish hard dick, standing ready to give it a try. Steve blushed when he saw how Tony was looking at him. His brown eyes were completely darkened up, his breath heavy, he looked a bit scary and really hot.

Tony kneeled in front of Steve and swallowed all of Steve's dick, Steve let out a suffocated scream, he had never felt this before, not in 96 years. Tony was sucking him deep and hard, he knew it was about to end, he could feel his toes curling, then Tony stopped, Steve opened his eyes in frustration and looked at him.

"I'm making you beg for it" Tony said and unbuckled his jeans, Steve saw how Tony took out his big erected dick, his heart raced. He turned Steve into his back, it was hard cause Steve was bigger than him, but he had never felt this turned on in his entire life, so he managed.

He saw Steve's perfect rounded ass and naked back.

"What are you do… " Steve was asking nervous, then he felt something soft and hot in his hole, he let out a moan and dug his fingers in the pillow, this was so hot. Tony was teasing him, when he noticed Steve was widening he let a finger in, Steve was rolling and lifting his ass in pleasure, Tony could feel how his balls were tightened. He was combining his tongue with his finger, he could feel how Steve was growing needy, pushing his ass to Tony's face.

"Please… " Steve said and Tony ignored him, one hand fingering him, the other one jerking him and his tongue wetting it "Damn Tony! Please " Steve cried, moving his ass more into Tony's face. He had never heard Captain America curse before.

Tony smiled and let another finger in. "Yes?" He could hear Steve and heard how he ripped the pillow, he couldn't keep on like this, it was too hot even for him, he pulled away jerking his cock, Steve complained.

"Please Tony" Steve said, his bare ass desperate for him, Tony kissed his hole and Steve pushed his ass to his face, "someone's a bit desperate" Tony mumbled and pressed his dick at Steve's entrance, he could hear Steve groaning.

"Fuck me Tony" That was it. Tony lost it and didn't care about any lube, nor condoms, he just pushed his dick into Steve, he was so hot, so tight, so new "FUCK!" Tony cried and pushed harder.

Steve felt a pain in his ass, like if he was being broken apart, but then he started feeling how Tony's dick was filling him, he was completing him like no one never had before. Tony started to move inside him, touching spots in his body he didn't even know he had, he was at the edge of coming, trying to hold on.  
Tony felt how Steve now was enjoying it, his moans and suffocated screams coming louder, he thrusted his dick faster, he was about to come too, but he wanted more.

"Tony I'm coming" Steve said in a loud moan, Tony grabbed Steve's hair and pulled him closer, digging his nails into Steve's skin, now fucking him harder, but still at the edge of madness and pleasure he tried not to hurt Steve.

"Come on Cap" Tony said when he felt he was close too, gave him two last deep thrusts and felt how he exploded inside Steve.

Steve felt how he was suddenly full by some warm substance, he felt Tony jerking him off and immediately came with a loud moan.

He used to be a virgin.

12) Avengers

"Who are you texting with?" It was Steve's voice coming from the small kitchen of that apartment they (well Tony) were renting in Los Cabos.

"Bruce" Tony said and saw how Steve pursed his lips. Tony smiled in satisfaction even though Steve always denied it, he could easily see how he got jealous each time Tony was talking with Bruce.

"What is he saying?" Steve tried to sound friendly and came to the living room handing him a mug of coffee.

"He says he wants to marry me, don't know what I'd say to him, what do you think?" Tony said and saw how Steve immediately tensed.

"Don't know, you two will make a great couple" He said and Tony laughed

"You sound like a psycho girlfriend already"

"I don't" Steve said and laid in the couch, trying to avoid him.

"You do, and it's adorable. You'll have to fight more than a million chicks to get me, you knew that?"

"That's what I signed up for, I'd be disappointed if it was just Bruce" Steve said and Tony laughed.

"Bruce is my friend, and he's yours too"

"Yeah right" He said and rolled his eyes, the more time he was spending with Tony he was being more irreverent about rules and his principles.

Tony smiled and left his phone at the table, he walked and jumped into the couch in which Steve was lying, Steve hugged him and kissed him deeply.  
4 months with Steve. 3 as friends, and 1 month in this awkward trip in which they weren't a couple, but they weren't friends either. Who was he lying to? They were a couple. Tony could feel it, and he was surprisingly happy with it.

Everything was perfect, then the storm came.

It was late night and Tony was falling sleep, cuddling with Steve as they watched a movie, then Steve woke him up.

"We gotta go"

"Go where?" Tony asked rubbing his eyes, Steve kissed him in the forehead

"To New York. Fury called, he wants us there"

"Are you kidding me? We're on vacations"

"It's urgent"

"Getting some sleep is urgent too"

"Tony come on" Steve said desperate and shook him, Tony opened his eyes, he was angry.

"What the fuck?! Wait until its morning"

"We can't, he wants to meet us in 4 hours"

"At the middle of the night?" Tony asked almost losing it.

"He said it was something related to the Avengers, he said you knew about it"

"They want you in?!" Tony asked and sat completely awoken by the news.

"He wants US in"

"He doesn't want me in, he wants me to take you there" Tony said even angrier

"I don't think so, he said you were a bad need to the initiative. You knew about this?"

"Fuck"


	8. Chapter 8

"Stark, Captain" That was Fury's greeting when he saw them waiting for him at that flying nave.

"Director" Steve said, his voice full of respect, deep and cold. Tony simply smiled fakely and rested his head between his hands, he was exhausted and pissed for getting called at midnight ruining his free time.

"We've got a problem" Fury said and threw a folder to the table, Tony opened it and Steve stood next to Tony, he was trying to understand every picture, the text, the tests, the results, those numbers, it was pretty hard to get this kind of technology, he could easily deal with google now, but this? He was about to ask, but Stark spoke first.

"Why no one told me they found it?"

"Why should we?" Fury said

"Cause I paid the team and the expedition, it belongs to Stark Enterprise. Not SHIELD"

"What are we talking about?" Steve asked a bit annoyed for not following.

"The tesseract, it's an endless sustainable way of pure energy. Too powerful, in the wrong hands: disaster" He said throwing Fury a suspicious look "Not from this world, literally"

Steve nodded at Tony's explanation and even tried to give him a shy smile showing him how grateful he was for having someone translate it to him. Each time he heard Stark talking he got these inner chills, a mix of admiration and love sending tiny shivers through his skin.

"The tesseract was taken"

"Great" Tony said and smiled widely.

"Where is it?" Steve asked

"We don't know, we need Dr. Banner and Stark to find it" A rough sensual voice spoke, it was of a woman with short red hair, big green eyes and curvy body, he gave Steve a smile "Agent Romanoff " she said and shook Steve's hand, he smiled back still astonished by this girl's beauty.

Then she tensed up a bit and gave Stark a disapproval look "Stark" She said and he smiled widely.

"Romanoff is part of the team"

"Oh I thought I was qualified as egocentric, unstable, irresponsible and narcissist to be here" Tony said and Fury just sighed.

"You're needed Tony"

Tony just lifted his eyebrows and smiled, Steve looked lost in the conversation

...

Fury insisted they should move to the Avengers ship, Tony of course had issues with the fact of living with strangers, so he had refused trying to gain Steve's support, but he didn't. So here it was a pissed to the heels Tony Stark packing his clothing and stuff to leave to the Avengers headquarters.  
Steve was looking at the scene, he was delighted as seeing how Tony reacted to the first thing that didn't go out his way, finding him so stressed and whining about it was hilarious.

"Is not the end of the world Tony" Steve said and walked to him. He reached and captured him in a hug, kissing his neck and grabbing his hands "Is like a new trip together"

"I don't think this is good" Tony said in a whisper and Steve pulled away and turned Tony, they were now front to front, but still the brunette had his eyes dug in the floor.

"What do you mean Tony?"

"I don't want to lose you" were the exact words that crossed Tony's mind, he wasn't able to pronounce them, so he managed to give him a smile. A cold broken smile.

"It'll be good, we'll be good" Steve said with a smile.

"Is like getting out of this bubble, you're going to see me as I really am"

"I know who you are"

"You don't" Tony said still with his eyes looking straight to the floor, Steve leaned until he captured Tony's lips in a sweet chaste kiss. Tony grabbed him by the shirt and threw him to the bed, kissing him as if he was starving, crawling over Steve, he was needy. He needed to touch Steve, to feel he was real, to smell through his skin, to have him. Steve understood and didn't say a thing, just kept unbuttoning Tony's shirt.

Steve didn't understand the words Tony said two weeks ago, now he did, he did understand it perfectly. Even though no one knew about their "relationship" gossip about Tony and uncomfortable headlines kept flashing through his eyes. They were varied, most of them about his alcoholism, his coldness, his lack of respect and he even found an alphabetical ordered list of women he'd fucked. Steve tried hard to avoid them, he convinced himself not to let it get him, but each day it was harder, not only because the headlines were worse every day, but because Fury somehow had managed to separate them.

The only moments they could have together were those nights Steve sneaked out of his room and went to Tony's lab, in which Tony was already waiting for him. Sometimes the Captain spent the night reading a book while Tony worked, other times Steve was sketching Tony, while Tony was drinking coffee or showing him something about his work. Most nights they were just kissing, or cuddling until they both were asleep on the couch.

Steve thought that even though this was hard, they could still manage to be somehow together. On the other side Tony didn't say anything, he was grateful the moments Steve went to see him with any excuse, and the moments he didn't know anything about him he was always anxious and overworking. He suspected, well, was almost certain that Fury knew about them, so he tried to split them, he had assigned Banner with Stark and Romanoff with Steve.

"Captain, please go and check on Stark" Fury said and Steve just nodded walking to the labs, he was about to reach the glass door when he heard the loud hysterical laugh of Bruce. He waited, he knew this was pathetic, but he really didn't like the idea of Bruce spending so much time with Tony.

"Oh please stop!" Bruce said laughing while Tony was still mumbling.

"I swear! Then she tried to get down to the basement with a baseball bat but somehow Jarvis held her in the elevator and dropped her on the lobby, so there she was: Glamorous Christina barefoot and with messy hair avoiding pictures as she walked out the Stark tower"

"So that's why she hates you so much and talks about your tiny… personality" Bruce said teasing still chuckling.

"Yup, definitely of my worst nights ever"

"And what about your top 5?"

Steve then realized they were talking about sex, and that none of the both scientist were really doing their work, Bruce was sitting with a spoon full of what it seemed Nutella, while Tony was standing in front of him eating blueberries.

"I've got plenty of them" Tony said and Bruce rolled his eyes "I truly believe that our honourable Captain made it to the top 5"

"Shut up! Really? Did you? Steve?" Bruce said almost screaming and Tony chuckled proudly.

"He used to be a virgin" Tony said smiling wide.

Steve took a step back, he felt how a cold wind filtered through his chest, he felt wounded, exposed, the way Tony talked about it, like if he was bragging about it.

"Bastard. How did you manage to get into his pants? It must've been hard" Bruce said looking thrilled.

"I'm a genius"

"You have my complete respect and admiration for now on" Bruce said and heard how Tony chuckled.

Steve felt how his cheeks turned watery, Why did Tony do this? Why would he talk about him in such an empty way? Maybe Stark was right, maybe he was just this and Steve had imagined he cared about him, he even had this pathetic stupid idea that Tony loved him. Because fuck! He did. Steve loved him.

"So that's why the guy hates me?" Bruce asked after a while.

"Yup, he know I'm irresistible"

"So, is he your boyfriend?"

"No, we're something like… Fuckfriends"

That was enough, Steve walked away, straight to his room, he tried to calm down and stayed there, he cried a bit until he got a message from Natasha, they were needed out in field. So he wiped his tears, took his shield and walked out of the Avengers headquarters. Natasha didn't ask, but by the look she gave him, Steve knew she already knew everything and received a smile from her. Somehow she made him feel better.

"Tony be careful around him" Bruce said looking straight to him.

"Why? Cause the guy can easily kill me with his bare hands?" Tony asked kidding.

"No, because if he let you in his life, is because he somehow loves you. He is not the kind of guy to go messing around with celebrities like you"

"I know" Tony said and smiled "You know, I think I might love him"

"Don't wait till he's frozen again to tell him" Bruce said and watched how Tony left the lab with a wide smile on his lips.

It was night, almost 1 in the morning. He was sitting in his personal lab trying to decompose the Tesseract holograph he had, he couldn't really focus on his work, Steve wasn't here, and that was pretty odd. So he was anxious and decided to go and give him a visit. He left the lab and walked to the stairs, heading to Steve's bedroom.

He reached the door and found out it was locked. Maybe he was asleep, so he didn't want to wake him up, at least not by knocking the door, he got on his knees and with a tiny clip he had in his pocket managed to open the door. A click was heard. The door gave in and he walked inside Steve's room. He found the blonde guy sitting in the bed, the light on, his eyes puffy and red and his sketchbook at his lap. He had been crying.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Tony asked preoccupied and walked near Steve.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" Steve asked pissed and threw the sketchbook away, standing up and facing Tony.

"Genius, remember?" Tony said and saw how Steve didn't smile, he saw his thin lips forming a straight line.

"Get out" Steve said with his deep bossy voice.

"What's going on? Why all of the sudden you're hating me too?"

"None of your business"

"Actually it is" Tony said and walked to confront Steve, he was shorter, but had this confidence that Steve wouldn't really harm him. He was right.

"Maybe you are who the papers say you are"

"Oh really?" Tony said and burst out laughing, he didn't know why, he was laughing in exasperation, hurt and angriness.

"Yes, you don't really care about no one"

"Who talked to you? How easy is to manipulate you!" Tony said pushing Steve in anger, Steve pushed him too, Tony took two steps back, the super soldier was much stronger than he was.

"I didn't talk to no one, I heard you"

"You heard me saying what? Spit it out Rogers" Stark said edgy and gave him a hatred look

"I heard you talking to Bruce, telling him about us, about me, as a trophy!"

"Oh God! Did I offend your stupid moral integrity!?"

"I don't like to be exposed Stark, you really have no respect"

"I don't. You knew that since the beginning of all this"

"What is this exactly?" Steve said pissed and took a step forward, both chests rubbing.

"Who cares!? Do you need to have it labelled?"

"I didn't, but it seems you did. "Fuckfriends" remember?" Tony chuckled madly.

"You don't really give a damn, don't you?" Steve repeated angry, pushing Tony, Tony almost fell to his ass, but he tried to remain still.

"Don't you trust me?" Tony asked and Steve fell silent.

"I thought I knew you, I just don't know anymore" Steve said in a bitter tone, as the words were heard, Tony felt how a piece of his reactor metaphorically broke apart. It hurt. The only man who seemed to trust him, and care for him, was now giving it all up just because a stupid conversation he heard and worse: misinterpreted.

"You're just afraid"

"Afraid of what? Of you? You're no threat" Steve said as he gave him a disapproval look.

"You're afraid of this, of getting hurt, of playing out of the laws"

"Laws were made to be safe"

"Laws are made to be broken" Tony shouted completely losing it.

"I'm not like you"

"Like me? You mean gay?" Tony said teasing "Bisexual?"

"Stop it"

"So that's it, you still can't accept yourself, old bullied kid from the 1940's who couldn't get out of the Godamn closet, wake up Rogers, is 2012! You can be the queer you always wanted to be, you can be as gay as you are here and now!"

Those words were it, Tony felt how his nose was broken by a strong fist, he fell backwards, then Steve realized what had just happened.

"Oh My God, Tony you're all right?" Steve kneeled trying to help him, Tony got up sparkling fire through his eyes.

"Fuck you Rogers" He said while blood came through his nose, and tried to loose Steve's grip of his arm, Steve understood and took a step back, watching how Tony left the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Then the absence of Tony became unbearable, he left the room heading straight to Tony's lab, he ran stairs down, making record time as he reached the glass doors. He then saw Tony's back while sitting on a chair. He was about to knock and then he saw Bruce, he was holding what it seemed to be a towel, and some medical stuff.

There had been few moments in which Steve Rogers had felt completely miserable, first one was not being qualified to be in the army, second one was when he woke up and found out he had missed 75 years of his life, third one was when he heard Tony's and Bruce's conversation earlier, and this was the fourth time. Watching how Bruce was taking care of Tony. He felt madness, bitter, anger, annoyance, desperation, all mixed together making his breath edgy. He tried to breathe. Before he could reach the door, he Heard Jarvis.

"Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark has denied you the access to every personal space he has" Jarvis said and Steve could notice his voice wasn't friendly anymore, he had never called him Captain Rogers before.

"Please Jarvis, I need to apologize to him"

"I don't think is a good idea Captain"

"Jarvis, you know damn well I would never hurt him" Steve almost begged

"You've already done it, my security protocols say you have"

Then silence again. Silence was a terrible noise for Steve's nerves and anxiety. Yes, he had made a mistake, he knew, he had never lost control this way before, he actually didn't knew what had happened, he could only remember Tony's words and how they made him feel pathetic, exposed, so angry with himself. He realized what had happened until he saw Tony bleeding in the floor. He never meant for it to happen, but he understood Jarvis had his commands, as he himself as the soldier he was, he was going to respect them. So he turned around and walked away.

Next nights were hell, Tony didn't leave his lab in days and Steve wasn't authorized to go down, so it was hard. Reaching for Tony was always hard, he tried to call him but was ignored, then he tried to text him but didn't get any answers.  
So he decided to go for a daily walk, not only the morning run, but also some late night walks. He tried to get more into SHIELD, offering his help even with that stupid paperwork Coulson refused to do. He wanted to escape from a place so impregnated with Tony. Natasha never said anything, but was always there, sometime she even said some advices for Steve, letting them fly in a subtle way. He didn't understand if she already knew everything and were meant for him, or if he was just hallucinating. Anyway, he didn't ask.

On the other hand Tony was almost always alone, the time he wasn't was with Bruce. Steve's text messages were driving him nuts, he drank a bottle of whiskey for each text he received. It had been more than 12 bottles in 5 days. He was always drunk.  
It was say and both men were in the lab, Tony really tried to avoid Steve, to tell himself it wasn't really important. But he couldn't avoid him for long.

"So, have you seen Steve" Tony asked while sipping from his scotch glass

"Tony, I've been telling you since the beginning. You need to go out there, stop drinking and talk to him" Bruce said annoyed

"I'm not ready"

"No one is"

"I'm not having this conversation with you" Tony said and walked away, messing with an holographic screen.

"I haven't seen him, he's at SHIELD'S all the time" Bruce said hopeless

"We are at SHIELD now" Tony said

"I meant the offices"

Then another moment of silence, Tony was biting his lip, yes he knew he was making a big deal out of nothing, and he knew most of what happened was provoked by himself. Still he wasn't feeling guilty for bragging about fucking him with Bruce, he tried hard to comprehend Steve's point of view on stuff. The more he thought about it, the more he got pissed. Steve was a coward conservator taking shelter behind his stupid moral integrity.

"Are you aware that biologically he's 25, but historically he's 100, right?" Bruce said reading his mind, the scientist understood what Tony's tensed lips and frown meant. It meant "I hate Steve"

"Sometimes I really hate him"

"And sometimes you love him, that's love kid" Bruce said chuckling

"I don't love him… I'm just fond to him" Tony lied and Bruce rolled his eyes

"Whatever"

Then a voice filled the room "Assemble"

Bruce and Tony went out of the lab, they walked to the main room, where Natasha, Fury, Thor and Steve were already arguing. They were speaking about massive destruction weapons and suddenly Steve turned everything to Tony. He didn't know why, he was just so pissed at Tony for ignoring him for 5 straight days. But Stark wasn't a princess, Steve then realized how arrogant and despicable could Tony Stark really be.

"You speak of control but yet you cause chaos" Thor said looking directly to Fury, everyone looked at him.

"Now what are we? A team? No, no, no, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We are a time bomb" Bruce said, his voice soft but still sounded threatened.

"You need to step away" Fury said giving him an imploring-order look

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" Tony said grabbing Steve's shoulder with his hand, sarcasm spread all over his face.

"You know damn well why! Back off!" Steve was now pissed, not only by the way Tony was avoiding him in private, but by the way he was mocking about such a serious situation.

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me" Tony said threatening and lifted an eyebrow while he faced Steve, his eyes sparkling with anger and joy, daring him.

"Yeah, Big man in a suit of armour, take that off, what are you?" Steve said while surrounding him in circles, like when a lion is about to hunt. The room fell silent, Bruce looking at Tony almost begging him not to explode in front of everyone.

"Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philantropist" Tony said and looked deep into Steve's eyes. His jaw tensed. Natasha lifted an eyebrow that was a damn well summary of what Tony Stark was.

"I've known guys with none of that worth ten of you, I've seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for is yourself" Steve paused looking how Tony's brown eyes were turning darker, Fury looked at Tony preoccupied. "You're not the guy to make a sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire while the other guy crawls over you"

"I think I would just cut the wire" Tony said and Steve gave him a despicable look, lifting an eyebrow and smiling coldly, he turned to see Bruce, who was standing speechless, when both eyes met, Bruce lifted an eyebrow, threatening Steve with just one look, Steve felt even more pissed for finding Bruce protecting Tony.

"Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat but stop pretending to be a hero" Those words hurt Stark, both men knew it. Everyone in the room knew it, his instant reflect was to hurt him even worse. He was the avenging type.

"A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment Rogers, everything special about you came out of a bottle" Tony said edgy and walked a step closer to Steve, confronting him physically without touching him yet.

Steve smiled coldly, looking at him like he never had before, daring him.

"Put on the suit, let's take a few rounds"

Then Thor cracked a laugh, looking at them like if they were pathetic.

"People are so petty, so tiny" Thor said still laughing and then Tony realized the pathetic hopeless scene they must have just played in front of everyone, letting all that sexual tension, all those misunderstandings and non-spoken topics get out as a stupid daring conversation, attacking each other's weak spots by insulting them only exposed how much they knew about each other.

Shit. He lifted his arm, covering his eyes with his hand, this was a mess.

"Romanoff could you escort Dr. Banner to y…"

"Where?" Bruce interrupted getting pissed "You rented my room already"

"The cell was just in case…"

"In case you needed to kill me, but you can't, I know, I've tried" Bruce said lifting his voice at that last word, Steve stood in front of Tony, his eyes locked on whatever Bruce's reaction was going to be, Tony was looking at Bruce with a worried face, trying to stop this from happening.

"I got low, I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people, I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone in risk. You wanna know my secret agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?" Bruce voice was turning heavier, everyone staring at him without moving, Fury and Natasha had a hand at their gun, Tony was standing there armless, Thor lifted the Mjolnir.

"Dr. Banner, put down the sceptre" Steve said in a calm voice, taking one step at front.

Then the computers started beeping, Bruce let down the sceptre and walked shyly out of the circle that was surrounding him.

"Sorry kids you don't get to see my party trick after all" He said in an aimless calm bitter voice. Natasha followed him, Thor spoke to Fury and Tony tried to leave the place, but was grabbed by the arm by Steve's hand.

"You're not going alone" his voice didn't sound rough, either like a command. It sounded more like the preoccupied tone he always used on Tony.

Tony hit Steve's hand, getting his arm rid of the grip "You're going to stop me?" Tony said daring him again.

"Put on the suit, let's find out" Steve said, his voice calmer than Tony's. Then Tony approached and confronted him directly, digging his eyes again into Steve's.

"I'm not afraid of hitting an old man" Fury looked at both with a terrified glare. This was getting out of control.

"Put on the suit"

The last words heard were "Oh My God" and it came from Bruce's lips. Then a huge explosion blew the entire room, sending Tony and Steve flying, Natasha an Bruce falling through the glass floor. Steve stood faster than Tony, fire surrounding them.

"Put on the suit" He said afraid of having Tony unarmed and exposed to all this, after all he was just a human.

"Yeah" Tony said, his voice a bit scared. He tried to stand but got dizzy, Steve held him by the waist and helped him run out of the room. Between all the screams and smoke, both made it to the basement "Engine three, I'll meet you there" Tony said and Steve took off, trying to secure Tony while he got on the suit. Fury had already given orders.

Steve was there in a few minutes, his eyes looking at the sky, nothing beneath them. "Stark, Stark I'm here" he screamed, remembering the speakers were on and everyone could heard whatever he said to Tony.

"Good" Steve heard Tony's voice while seeing the man he loved flying in his suit, looking at everything from a better angle. Then he heard how Tony started babbling about technicisms he didn't understand, then Tony gave him a command to find a panel, he obeyed and reached it in seconds, he saw hundreds of different wires connected to different spots.

"So how does that look?" Tony asked, he watched the panel speechless.

"It looks like if it works with some kind of electricity" Steve said and Tony chuckled discretely.

"Well, you're not wrong"

Everything went blurry after that, while Tony was having a hard time pushing the engine so it could spin, Steve was being attacked by some guys with huge weapons, he was unarmed. Natasha was dealing with Clint, while Thor and The Hulk were forcedly thrown away from the floating fort. Loki escaped.  
Steve was breathing heavily on the floor when a guy lifted his weapon having him as target, then Iron Man came. Saving him. Then Fury's voice was heard through their ears. "Coulson is down" Those words sent a frozen shiver through everyone's blood. Tony felt a special pain inside him, he knew the guy for some years now. Keeping in that room with Fury and Steve was unbearable, he left.

He was staring down through the hole in which the cage used to be, and heard Steve's voice.

"Was he married?" He asked, Tony stood quietly. This was the first calm conversation they were having in days.

"No, he was dating a cellist, I believe" Tony answered calmly, trying to look to see Steve. He was tearing if he saw those blue eyes, so close and so far at the same time.

"I'm sorry. He was a good man" Steve said, his voice still the Captain voice just sweeter when he spoke to Tony.

"He was an idiot" Tony said looking at Steve, sending those words directly to him, not only referring about Coulson, but also were meant for Steve. Steve understood.

"Why? For believing?" Steve answered for both of them.

"For taking on Loki alone" Tony said while walking out of his spot, getting nearer to Steve, Steve was still with his eyes full of goodness and his soft voice.

"He was doing his job" The Captain said, Tony bluffed loudly.

"It was out of his level, he should've waited, he should've…" His voice broke

"Sometimes there's no other way out Tony" Steve said while approaching to him, "Tony" Steve never called him by his name, not after this mess, but there he was, walking right to him, his sweet voice and his bright eyes. It was too much for him, so he walked out, passing by his side trying to escape the other man.

"Is this the first time you lost a soldier?" Steve asked edgy

"We're not soldiers" Tony said exasperated "I'm not in with Fury's five"

"Neither am I" Steve said "He has the same blood on his hands as Loki. But right now, we gotta put all this behind us, and get this done" Steve said, referring "this" not only to the avengers initiative, but to them. Tony understood. "Loki needs a powe…"

"It's getting personal" Tony said.

"That's not the point"

"That totally is the point. That's Loki's point. He hit were we live, for what?"

"To tear us apart" Steve answered following Tony's thinking, sometime he really hated the guy almost as much as he loved him, but in both cases he admired Tony's intelligence, so he had decided to stick to it.

"Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? THAT'S what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience" Tony said while walking while lifting a hand, accommodating all of his ideas.

"Right. I caught his act at Stuttgart" Steve said almost proudly to follow on with Tony's thoughts

"Yeah, that was just previews. This is - this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered..."

Then Stark pauses and looks into Steve's eyes, Steve's eyes widened understanding everything.

"Son of a bitch"

Wars were always rough and bitter, people died and the city got destroyed but for the first time they fought as a team, they were together, fighting on their own but still together, the same objective: to save the world. Though the messy of the moment, Steve couldn't avoid the fact that Tony arrived by his side exactly the moment he was outnumbered or surrounded, he could feel like if Tony was somehow watching over him. He threw the shield thinking about it, he recaptured it with a wide smile on his face.

Thor was by his side, he got shot, but quickly got up again, then he heard Natasha voice. They could close the portal, he immediately gave the command, until he heard Tony.

"No, there's a missile about to blow up the entire city, and I know where just to put it"

No one said anything, Steve didn't really understand. Until he saw Tony carrying the damn thing up to the portal, and then he lost Tony out of sight. Steve had had many hard moments in his life, sometime he couldn't believe he had endure so much pain, losing Bucky, losing Peggy, losing his Mother, losing his dreams. Losing 75 years under the ocean.

But none of that pain had felt not even as half as the pain he was feeling now. Losing Tony. He stood frozen watching at the sky, he prayed, prayed to the God he was afraid but knew he loved him, he felt how his soul broke into million pieces, he felt a cold empty wind freezing him from inside.  
There was nothing, then he saw Thor's eyes on him, he saw the fallen buildings, the dense black smoke, people crying, people wounded, people dying. "Close it" He heard his own voice but didn't understand why he was saying this. Then the blue light canal was broken and disappeared, and the hole in the sky was being closed, he looked around. He couldn't take it anymore.

He didn't feel anything. He was dead.

Then he saw the unbelievable, a body dropping from the sky. Then he experienced at the same moment the two greatest feeling he had felt in his life. First one: Pain, such an unbearable pain that made him beg for death. Second one: Joy, such an amazing happiness that he let out a "Son of a bitch" just like Tony would have said.

He ran to the body, touching his chest, trying to hear his heart, being so close to Tony again, he didn't mind the armour. He wanted the man back, his smile, his voice, his filthy sarcasm. Nothing. He pulled apart, watching him speechless, which was the third feeling that approached him: Nothingness.

The Hulk screamed and Tony's brown eyes were back. Steve lit with a 2000 watts smile, looking at him with his muddy face and his eyes watery from happiness.

"What the hell? What did just happen? Please tell me nobody kissed me" Tony said looking straight into Steve's eyes, Steve smiled widely.

"We won" he managed to say, smiling like some stupid in love teenager. He had never been this happy, this grateful in his life. Tony was safe.

After everything was over and they had an exhausted dinner at Shawarma, things went back to normal. And that was the worst part.

Steve had been wrong about Tony. Tony was the man he knew, he was the guy he loved. He was embarrassed and regretting everything he had said to him. He was now standing at the rebuilt Stark tower, leaning in a wall, waiting for Tony to get out of the meeting. It had been two weeks without knowing anything about the genius. They had said their goodbyes, and Tony had drove that car with Bruce in it. And that was the last time he saw him, until now.

"Tony" Steve said when he saw Tony wearing a black suit and purple ink sunglasses.

"Steve, Cap" Tony corrected himself "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Tony asked. Steve swallowed hard. Yes, everything was wrong.

"I wanted to talk to you, to apologize" Tony lifted his eyebrows.

"What's done is done, what's said is said. It's all right, no harm done" Tony said and tried to walk away from Steve.

Steve took him by the arm, he was getting used to. Tony lifted his eyebrow, and stood there watching him.

"Can we go out for something? Cheeseburgers perhaps?" Steve said in pathetic way of gaining Tony back.

Tony half smiled, he didn't want to accept, 'cause being alone with Steve would totally lead him to talk, and he didn't want to be exposed to Steve, not anymore. But saying no, and throwing his back to the man, maybe would totally make him go away. And he didn't want that either.  
He looked into Steve's eyes removing his sunglasses, he gave him a kind smile and with his eyes teary but his voice strong he walked away from the man he loved.

"Maybe some other time" The billionaire said and walked away from there, regretting it deeply into his skin.

Steve stood there quiet, his heart broken, his eyes teary, his hope lost. Then he said it out loud for the first time.

"I love you"

But no one was there to listen anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**Men are Stupid**

Next days were rough for both of them, especially for Tony. He couldn't spend a minute without turning a bit psycho, it all started with regret, then it stepped to hurt, and finally he drowned in doubt, fear and bitter. He sighed and took a deep large sip to the bottle he had at his side. He heard the phone but didn't answer, he kept on what he was doing. After a couple hours he stood, dizziness stroke right into him, he was getting drunk. He watched his step.

"Jarvis, let's give it a try"

"Is not ready yet, we need to get some examinations done"

"It's all right, come on"

"Sir, let me remind you, in the last exams you presented some serious damage on your nervous system, the new element seems to be accelerating your aging"

"That's not a nice thing to say J" Tony said and took a silver device, he pulled his guns n roses t-shirt up and looked into his arm

"Sir, we need to find another way to sustain your life"

"We need something that could stop the shrapnel while the reactor is out"

"Extremis" Jarvis said

"Extremis is already forgotten, end of discussion J" Tony said and injected his arm with the device he was holding. It did hurt, but he was excited. After pushing Steve away, having Pepper married and Rhodey out of the country he faced his reality. He was alone. It was just he and his toys. He gave Jarvis a cold smile. "All right, send them" Tony said and pieces of the iron man suit started flying when he opened the hand.

He had inserted a serious amount of microchips under his skin, so the suit and he were now one. Though the pieces were flying a bit aggressively to his body, it worked. He smiled widely, then a voice was heard.

"How long have you been down here?" It was Pepper's voice and it didn't sound calm. Tony looked at her, his eyes still sparkling as he saw her, she was truly of the best thing that had happened to him. Then he saw Happy at her side, he gave away a nostalgic broken smile. They understood.

"Not long" Tony lied.

"82 hours" Jarvis said giving him away.

"Thanks J" Tony buffed and rolled his eyes.

"Tony you need to stop" Pepper walked until she was standing in front of him, Tony gave in. He walked the step that was separating them and hugged her, smelling deep into her neck. He missed her. He knew he was cursed to forever love her, but now it felt strange, like different. Even if she was here, he felt empty. Usually she was the only thing he needed, now it was odd.

"Peps I'm sorry, I just… I just can't" Tony said and felt Pepper's hand rubbing his back.

"You're really drunk and outworked. Come, let's give you a bath and go to have a proper night sleep"

You couldn't say Tony agreed. He simple didn't refuse to anything. Both friends and couple stayed until Jarvis said Tony was caught in deep sleep, then they left. Sleeping really was what he needed the most, he was peaceful and then this hole dragged him. He wasn't there anymore, he didn't see anything at all, just saw how Jarvis shut down and how his breath was collapsing. Nothing. He caught in a glimpse an outrageous explosion. Where was he? What had happened? Then falling, falling into a deep endless unknown place.

He was sweating, Steve's face, Pepper's, even Howard's face. Then Loki, the Chitauri. He felt a cold shiver in his skin, then he seeing the exams, the statics, his unstoppable death.

He woke up. His breath heavy, totally wet in sweat, his heart racing but worst of all: fear. Fear and the fact that he was exposed, everyone was. They were tiny ants pretending to defend themselves. It was ridiculous.

"Sir, may I call someone?" It was Jarvis voice.

"I'm all right, just a bad dream" Tony said and laid on the bed again. He wasn't getting any sleep, he knew. Still he tried.

"I'll be here" Jarvis said, Tony knew. Of course he wasn't going anywhere, still his support made him feel well.

"Jarvis" Tony spoke after his heartbeat was normal again and his sweat was controlled

"Yes?"

"What time is it?"

"5:47 am Sir"

"How long from here to SHIELD headquarters?"

"In suit, 15 minutes. Driving, an hour"

"Perfect" he mumbled and stood up, getting himself naked and into the shower, cold water woke him completely and somehow relaxed him, he stood out of the shower and grabbed a pair of ripped jeans, he chose a white and black t-shirt, a leather jacket and black converse. He took one of his many luxurious wrist clocks and saw it said 6:00 AM. He was damn fast. He clicked the key and his car drove itself and lifted the door, he got inside and drove.

6:58 A.M. He was standing in front of SHIELD main building. He didn't have the speech done, he didn't even know what he was going to say. He just needed Steve, he was tired of pretending, two weeks after they last spoke and it was killing him. He couldn't stay sober, he didn't need the man to live, but he really couldn't live without having his issues resolved. At least with Steve.

He hacked the security logs and in less than 10 minutes he was inside of what it seemed Captain America private office. No one was there, he watched the impeccable order Steve had in his place, nothing on the desk, just what needed: a computer, a notebook, a cage with various pencils and pens, and right behind it there was a tiny stuffed iron man. Tony took it and cracked the first honest smile after months. Yes, he also had a tiny stuffed Captain America in his workshop.

He was looking through Steve's papers, he had a really mechanized handwrite letter. It was almost as clear as a computers. He was watching those little details about Steve and heard a deep familiar voice.

"Stark, I just can't get rid of you" It was Fury's, Tony turned and somehow was glad to see him again, he smiled.

"You missed me" Tony said and Fury rolled his eye.

"Hacking the system to get into Steve's office is even for you, low"

"Where is he by the way?" Tony was glad that Fury was the one to bring him on topic.

"He's not here, he was sent in a special secret mission"

"Where is he? Is he alone? Why no one never calls me!" Tony said rolling into his own words, why did Steve didn't call? Why is he alone? Why is he on a mission? Is he the only one left out of the group and its missions?

"As you know Captain Rogers is now working for SHIELD" He did know that, but didn't know he was gone. It'd been a month and a half after the battle in New York, why not give the guy a rest?

"Where is he?" Tony repeated the question lifting a bit his voice, Fury didn't really care.

"Secret" He said and turned away

"When will he be back?" Tony asked almost furious.

"Is there something you might want to tell him? I can surely give him the message" Fury said sarcastic and Tony walked out of the room, he was about to enter the elevator but turned to face Fury

"Tell him to answer his godamn phone"

He couldn't bare it. He was not only angry, but somehow felt betrayed by everyone, alone, and worse: getting sober. He drove away, he didn't want to go home, either the company, he couldn't handle it, he instinctively drove to Pepper's address.

He knocked the door while walking in circles at the porch. Happy opened the door, he was wearing a black pants and an old blue shirt, he looked sleepy.

"Tony are you all right?" He asked preoccupied.

Tony looked at the man, he was having a perfect life, he had his dream job, the perfect girl by his side, this comfy house. For the first time Tony Stark wished he had this. He spent all his life complaining about routine and family and stability, but now he felt so unsafe and lonely he wished for it. He didn't say anything, just wrapped Happy in his arms, Hogan hugged him tighter.

"Honey who was at the… " Pepper's voice shut when he saw his husband hugging tightly his ex-boyfriend and best friend. She somehow smiled.

"Tony come in" Pepper said softly "I'm making pancakes, your favourites"

That was enough for Tony to feel a bit loved, he walked inside and sat with them. They didn't ask anything, they waited until Tony felt ready to speak.

"Aren't you going to work?" Tony asked as he saw how both of them were still in theirs…. How could he call them? Pajamas?

"We don't work on Sundays Tony" Pepper said and Tony chuckled, so it was Sunday.

"Is this still November?" Tony asked and Pepper chuckled

"Still is" Happy said and put on the table a plate with many peanut butter sandwiches, Tony grabbed one.

"I've got a problem" Tony said and both looked interested "but it's a long story"

"We have enough time" Happy said and Tony tried to smile, he hadn't tell anyone about Steve, just Bruce. He knew Pepper would totally have Bruce's opinions but still, he needed to try, to get a fresh new perspective on the issue. So he started.

After many sandwiches and various glasses of milk, he ended with a cold smile. Happy looked shocked, like if he got lost at the moment he said "we were lying on a bed", on the other hand Pepper was speechless, her face didn't give away anything. Tony stood anxious waiting for them to speak.

"You truly are an idiot Tony" Pepper said using that disapproval disappointed voice she always used when she was serious about something.

"ME?! He hit me in the face" Tony replied madly

"You somehow managed to make Steve Rogers alias Captain America love you and just threw it away" Pepper said now angry

"How do you know he loves Tony? He didn't mention it" Happy said confused

"Exactly!" Tony lifted his arms.

"Men are stupid. Like really stupid" Pepper said exasperated.

"I don't get, why didn't he call?" Happy asked and Tony chuckled madly

"Exactly my point, he knows my damn number!"

"Tony! The guy you threw away in such a cold way wasn't going to make you a call to tell you a super-secret mission, I seriously doubt Steve would tell anyone anything" Pepper said and scratched her brains.

"Do you love him" She asked looking straight into Tony's eyes.

"I don't know, I think…"

"Don't. Stop thinking, just answer instinctively. Do you love him?" Her voice echoing through his head, he remembered of those nights sleeping together, they seemed so far away right now, the way Steve's blue eyes sparkled with the morning sunrise, the way he laughed real hard when Tony was just being Tony.

"I do" He admitted.

"Then don't lose him, he might be the best thing you can get in your life" Pepper said and Tony looked to see Happy.

"I believe one should always fight for the ones they love" Happy said smiling. Tony just nodded.

He didn't feel good, but he was certainly better. He stayed another half an hour, had lunch with them and then made an excuse to leave, as he always did. He was driving back to the Malibu house when he heard Jarvis.

"Should I call Captain Rogers?"

"Yes, we should" Tony said and heard how the phone started ringing, he was getting a bit desperate until he heard a voice.

"Tony!" he nearly screamed.

"Steve" Tony said in a sigh

"Oh My God, how are you? Damn, I wanted to call you but didn't know if it will annoy you, after everything we've been up to" And there was the Steve Tony loved. The one that wasn't a bitch anymore, well he liked the bitchy one, it was damn hot, but this, this excited, shy, nervous, innocent, brave talented kid had stolen his heart.

"Steve, where are you?" Tony asked bossy.

"I can't tell, I'm on a mission for SHIELD. But I'm so glad to hear you, how are you? What you've been up to?" He asked a bit excited.

"I mean where are you now"

"Oh, I'm on this room waiting for Natasha"

"Is she with you!?"

"Fury said I couldn't really do this alone " - "And he didn't call me" Tony thought.

"You can do anything alone" Tony chuckled and heard Steve's little laugh.

"Where are you?" Steve asked

"I'm driving home actually, to keep on working" Tony said and smiled wide, he didn't want this conversation to end "How long have you been out?" Tony asked.

"Not long, like 1 week and a half, almost after I talked to you" Steve's voice kinda' broke at the end of the sentence.

"Steve, I miss you" Tony said and heard how Steve's breathe cut, he didn't expect it, nor Tony did.

"I miss you too" It was Steve's soft bur strong voice. The older man smiled happily.

Weeks went by, Tony kept talking to Steve almost every night, he stopped having nightmares, he stopped drinking, he even stopped working that much. He even went to the Stark corporative and helped Pepper with some paperwork, he was feeling not complete, but at least happy. None of them had touched the topic of their relationship, nor their fights, they didn't even talk about New York. They were just them, talking about random topics and each one's day. It felt like a friendship, but Tony knew, he knew it was something stronger.

Then it happened, Tony's phone rang and he read in the screen "Steve" it was early for him to call, but still Tony picked up.

"Hey Steve, what's up?" Tony asked and left the piece of armour he was working on in his desk, he walked and sat on the lounge he had there.

"Tony! You cannot believe what happened today, it's such a wonderful day" Steve said nearly screaming, he sounded overexcited, Tony smiled.

"What happened? Are you okay? Are you here?" Tony asked getting himself excited.

"No, I'm all right, but still on mission. I found him"

"Found who?"

"Bucky" Steve said in a sigh, his voice softer than usual. Then Tony froze and felt how a knot was strangling his throat.

"That best friend you used to like?" Tony asked trying to hide his jealousy. This couldn't be real.

"Yes! Bucky! The one I've been telling you for so long! God, it's amazing, he's now brainwashed but I believe he can recover and we…"

"And you can be together happily ever after" Tony's voice was full of anger and jealousness. He was edgy.

"I didn't mean it that way" Steve's voice was now a bit more serious

"Oh really?! Because you really do sound like dying from happiness or something"

"Because after 75 years I found my best friend!" Now Steve was pissed.

"Oh great! Miracles do happen right?" Tony asked madly.

"You really are a dick"

"Well, lucky for you Bucky seems to be prince charming" Tony said.

Steve heard those words and couldn't help but had an emotion mixture. First it was anger, followed by pain and more anger. Mostly: anger. In such a deep way he didn't realize he had smashed his phone in his hand by gripping it too hard. Shit, that was the only way to communicate with Tony. "Shit!" he mumbled and dug his face between his big hands.

Tony heard how the connection was lost and realized Steve hang up on him, which made him feel even more pissed. Hours went by and someway in the middle of the night he realized they were making a big deal out of nowhere, maybe he really was a dick and had overreacted. Maybe he was just afraid of losing Steve. Well, not losing him, because he didn't have him, they were just friends. He felt insecure and grabbed his phone, dialled the number. Shut off. Tony bit his lip and insisted: Nothing. Well, maybe he was trying tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11

November passed right in his eyes, he had no notice from Steve which he took the worst way possible. Maybe he was dead, or kidnapped, or worse, maybe he and Bucky ran away. No. He tried to wipe that awful idea off his head and sighed. He kept on walking in circles around the workshop, he had already made 8 iron man robots in a month. He was turning nuts, sometimes he could swear he was hearing voices inside his head, he didn't know if it was the complete lack of sleep, or if he had delirium tremens thanks to the alcohol he kept on drinking, well drowning in. He was an alcoholic, he knew that, he really didn't care. He grabbed the beer and took the last sip, he crashed it and threw it into the pile he already had of crushed can beers.

"Sir I can't access to SHIELDS' system"

"What are you talking about? Is already hacked and responding for the last three weeks"

"It does not exist anymore"

Tony lifted an eyebrow, preoccupation rising through his veins, maybe he had logged off, maybe they knew he was inside theirs system and had blocked him out, he grabbed his translucent screen and started typing. Jarvis was right, SHIELD'S system did not exist anymore. He bit his lips and started hacking the Government system, after a few minutes it gave in, he started looking for any ultra-secret section.

"Yeahy" He mumbled while hacking now the deep red the Government had. It gave in.

"Sir I must tell you, you're really good decoding" Jarvis said and Tony smiled wide.

"I'm the best" He said and opened his arms, spreading all the information he had in his screen around the room. He started reading and flipping through the holographic screens. Then he found it. Fury's dead. SHIELD has fallen. It's over.

He unconsciously sat hit by the shock. What had happened? Where was Steve? What will happen to the Avengers initiative? How did Fury could get killed? This was beyond limit. Then he read the dates, it all had happened 2 and a half weeks ago, they kept running SHIELD'S system in automatic, maybe that was why Steve never picked up again. Maybe something terrible happened.

"I can't handle it anymore, Jarvis. Let's get started" he said and grabbed a box with multiple circuits, he grabbed a screwdriver and put his working glasses on.

After two more weeks of sleeping every now and then, eating once a day and drinking twice as needed he was done. He had created a locator. But not any locator, but a powerful hacking system that was able to find every person in the world.

"Look for Steve" he ordered Jarvis and Jarvis sent his iris print (which he already had taken tricking Steve it was a picture of his beautiful blue eyes)

More days went by, then he found him.

"I found Mr. Rogers" Jarvis said and Tony could feel how his spirit came alive.

"Where is he?"

"Brooklyn, Parthmout #82 interior #6"

"How long has he been there?" Tony asked pissed, he didn't get a call from Steve.

"About 2 days"

Tony didn't say a thing, he just grabbed his keys and walked out of his kitchen, the car came and he got in, driving at the highest speed, listening AC/DC. Damn, he missed Steve. He stopped and bought a bouquet of flowers, he really didn't know what to give him, but he had to have an excuse for stopping by. He arrived, it was an old not so wonderful apartment tower. He parked and walked inside, running until he reached the #6 apartment. He knocked, desperately knocked. Steve opened the door, he was wearing Capri shorts, and a blue tight (too small for him) shirt.

"Tony!" He nearly screamed and had a terrified look in his face. He looked scared.

"Hi, I'm sorry to stopping by without giving you a call, but you haven't really picked up lately"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I crushed it accidentally" Steve said looking a bit embarrassed, but still Tony could see fear in his eyes, like if he was hiding something.

"I know about SHIELD and Fury, I'm sorry" Tony apologized sincerely.

"It's better now. What about going out for a walk?" Steve said quickly and tried to push Tony out of the apartment.

"No, I'm okay, I just…" Then Tony stopped and looked to see those blue eyes he missed so much, he thought of kissing him, but he stopped himself, he needed to talk, to tell him everything "I'm sorry I've been an ass, I'm sorry for not understanding what Bucky means to you, I'm sorry I pushed you away, I'm sorry if you thought I was bragging, which I was" Steve chuckled "but not in the way you thought, I was just so proud and happy to make someone like you…" Tony broke "liked me" he ended up and saw how Steve's eyes were full of sadness, desperation, they were watery and his shoulders tensed.

"I guess I just try to say I lo…" Then Tony was interrupted by a feminine voice.

"Who's at the door honey?" Tony froze.

Steve stepped so he could see her, she was beautiful, thin, brunette, white skin and golden eyes, she had straight hair held in a high pony tail and was wearing a denim short and a blue flannel, that Tony deduced; it was Steve's.

It's really hard to describe such a smashing feeling. Sadness, bitter, jealousness, angriness, pain, desperation, destruction, disappointment. He couldn't breathe anymore, he just couldn't. He tried to escape but his lips didn't respond. He just stood there trying to fake a smile, but he couldn't. He couldn't get rid of the meteor of feelings that hit him. Steve looked at him, his eyes full of regret, he didn't know what to do, then he looked away and saw her smiling innocently.

"Sharon, this is Tony Stark" Steve said in a pathetic try to make things smoother. Tony took all the broken pieces of himself and gave her a cold smile.

"Nice to meet you darling" he lied and shook the girl's hand.

"I'm a really great fan of your work Doctor Stark" She said and both men looked impressed. Tony smiled again and then stepped backwards.

"I was about to leave actually" Tony said and Steve understood, he didn't say anything.

"Don't. We're having dinner, join us" She said nicely and he bit his lip. What was worse than this?

"I'm sorry darling, I just came by to tell St… Captain Rogers that I'm supporting the Avengers initiative, making Stark tower its headquarters. No SHIELD, no Government, just the mightiest heroes trying to save the world" He said and looked deep into Steve's eyes, then he extended his hand, Steve took it and they shook hands, the blonde one didn't want to let go of the grip, but Tony's thin hand slipped out his big hands.

"It was nice seeing you Cap" Tony said and turned away.

"It was nice seeing you Tony" Steve mumbled in a sigh and watched how the engineer left.

Tony drove desperate, for the first time he didn't know where to go. He didn't belong anywhere. He just kept driving, he muted Jarvis and played some music, his heart racing, his broken breath, both combined became the producers of tears. He cried. Cried deep, sobbing loudly even aggressively. He hadn't cried like this since Pepper left him, which was a year and a half from now.

...

Steve closed the door with one feeling blinding everything else. Regret. He wanted to go and run after him, he wanted to erase everything he had done in the past month. He wanted him back.

"Honey are you all right? You seem pretty shocked" She said while grabbing a bag of lays and sitting in the sofa, she turned the TV on.

"I just, haven't seen him in a while" Steve lied and she smiled.

"He's a great guy, I truly hate how the media talk about him"

"How do you know him this much?" Steve asked interested

"I didn't sleep with him" She said and chuckled, Steve tensed "Don't be jealous, he truly is charming" She said and hugged Steve.

Of course he was jealous, but not because of her, but because of Tony. He was charming, Steve knew, he just yesterday had read an article in FORBES about the most wanted men in the world, in which Tony Stark spotted number 1. He knew who the man was.

"I know, I'm all ears" Steve said and smiled, shutting the TV off, she sighed and turned to face him.

"I don't think you know, but I'm a great science fan. I enjoy reading essays about it, all of them are cool, you know trying to solve the universe's mysteries. But then came Tony Stark… and fuck" She said and smiled widely "He just is a genius. And he knocks off all the theorists and scientists and starts a mix, a revolution. In which science was not about past, but about future. He created artificial intelligence, a new element, iron man suit, the arc reactor that keeps him alive. He made a revolution in science and tech, and I hate to see tabloids writing about who he fucked or what he said. Is insulting" She paused "Worst, I hate people who believe it, who can't trust the man, the man who risked himself to save a world who's never been fair to him. I just love the guy" She said and smiled.

Steve was sitting quietly, he took those words as if they were for him, he had been an ass to Tony, he hadn't really appreciate who the man was and how hard it was for being there. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Sharon, I need to tell you a story you don't know about me" He said, his voice deep and sharp, she smiled and nodded, waiting for the story that was about to break her heart.

...

Tony parked. He didn't know where he was, he lifted the door and walked outside the car, he was shocked. It seemed that he was standing at the graveyard his parents were resting. He tried to get back in the car, but heard a sound behind him. Shit. He didn't like this. He didn't like graveyards at night, nor sounds behind him, he turned around… nothing.

He sighed and then turned to his car, he heard a chuckle. A cold shiver shook his whole body, he tried to hide it but his fear was obvious.

"Don't tell me one of the mightiest heroes is afraid of a little ghost" He heard a voice, a man's voice and stood there.

"I'm not, is just cold in here" He lied and saw how out of the nothing someone threw him a leather jacket.

"Who are you?" He said impressed while holding the jacket.

"Let's just say I need you, and you need me"

Tony chuckled.

"I don't need anyone kid" Tony chuckled and the stranger moved, Tony could hear him.

"I can kill you with one bare hand" He said, his voice sharp but with a weird accent, he felt how the man was behind him, he didn't move.

"Be my guest" Tony said and lifted his arms.

Then the stranger walked into the moonlight and faced Tony. He was taller than him, brown wavy hair that reached his shoulders, deep blue eyes and white pale skin. He was somehow gorgeous but scared the hell out of Tony.

"James Barnes" He said and took Tony's hand in a firm grip and shook it.

"Tony Stark, but it seems you know it pretty well. You've been following me" He said and James smiled.

"Agreed"

"So what do you exactly need from me?" Tony asked looking at the guy with a bit fear but most of all, curiosity.

"I need you to analyse me, analyse this" He said and extended his metallic arm for Tony to see, Stark coughed in surprise but yet touched the metal, by the touch he could feel it was pure vibranium. He felt a cold shiver. Hydra.

"Who are you?" Stark asked feeling threatened, maybe he was a trap.

"I'm not here to kill you Tony" The way the other man said his name made him feel he had been following him for a long time now, he felt stupid, how did he didn't notice? A cold shiver was sent through his spine again.

"Put on the jacket, you're freezing" He said in such a demanding way it reminded him of Steve. He smiled and obeyed.

"Where were you heading?" The man asked and Tony stood frozen, he didn't know "Were you here to see Howard?" The man asked again and Tony nodded.

"Wanna join me?" He asked and Bucky smiled and followed the billionaire.

This was pathetic. He was asking for a stranger's company. This was low, really low even for Tony, he was so alone that he needed to talk to someone, even his future assassin. He didn't really care.

"So… how long have you been following me?" Tony asked and sat next to his mom grave, the mysterious man sat beside him.

"Just a couple of weeks, you're really strange" He said and chuckled

"So a man who's been stalking me during weeks tells me I'm strange"

"You're the man talking in the middle of the night in a lonely graveyard to a stranger"

"Please don't kill me" Tony said and Bucky laughed.

"I won't"

Actually he didn't kill him, he was glad to find out when he woke up and was still alive, what he didn't like was waking up in someone's arms. Some unknown man arms. He stretched a little and found some curious dark blue eyes staring at him.

"Morning" Bucky said and Tony stood almost violently.

"What happened?" Tony asked preoccupied.

"Not much, we just talked and fucked and then you fell asleep"

"Did we fuck!?" Tony nearly screamed and scratched his brains "Shit"

Then Bucky burst out laughing and Tony gave him an assassin look, it made Bucky laugh more. He worked with this strange guy for almost 2 weeks, having him in the house made him feel better, better than Pepper, better than Steve's ignored calls. He did miss Steve, and he tried not to cry all night, 'cause the night he cried he used to wake up into James's arms, and he really didn't know where it was heading to. He was nuts, having a complete stranger living in your house with you, you being completely unprotected. He was really getting worse at doing stupid stuff, he blamed it on aging.

His phone rang, it was Pepper. Pepper's voice was never this high pitched, this desperate this cold, this broken. Happy was in a coma. Tony didn't say anything and left the house, driving directly to the hospital, his phone rang.

"Can I do something for you while you're out?" It was James's voice.

"You could come" Tony said mumbling, he really wanted Steve here, but having this stranger man he was now liking, will do.

"I'm sorry Tony, I can't get seen. I'm a ghost" He said and Tony just nodded, stupidly nodded "I'll be here when you get back" He said and Tony mumbled an edgy "thanks" and shut his starkphone off.

He entered the room and found a destroyed Pepper Potts, she seemed 10 years older, her puffy red eyes, her sobbing, she stood and hugged Tony tight, so tight Tony could feel her desperation through his skin.

"He'll be all right" Tony said and Pepper nodded.

"I know" She said and took one of his husband's hands into hers.

Tony grabbed a chair and sat next to them. He didn't ask anything, after an hour of silence, Pepper spoke.

"It was a message for you. Someone's after you, the mandarin" She said and Tony dug his head in his hands. He knew this guy, this new terrorist. But why he? Why he was always picked by terrorists?

"I'm sorry" Tony said at the edge of crying, Pepper hugged him.

"Is not your fault, but you need to take care of yourself. I can't be there for you" She said coldly and Tony nodded, mumbling a low "I know" into her hair.

"I'm so sorry Peps"

"Don't be. He'll be all right. You need to look after you and after Steve, if they know about him, they'll come and get him"

"He's with someone" Tony said and broke crying, Pepper held him tighter repeating "Everything will be all right" into his ear. She didn't knew, but she hoped for the best.

Tony left the hospital after a couple of hours, the media approached him immediately before he even got into his car, he didn't answer anything, until he heard a question that got him pissed, and then in the middle of his emotional drunkenness, he talked. He threatened in wide open television the most feared terrorist giving him his address.

"Fuck" Bucky mumbled at the living room, he was trying to learn to use the stove, while watching TV. This were no good news, Tony was facing a high risk. He walked out of the living room trying to reach the door when he saw Tony entering the house.

"Are you fucking crazy!?" He yelled.

"Is my place, is my life. You don't want to get into this, fuck off" Tony said and walked down into the workshop, Bucky rolled his eyes and followed him down.

...

Steve arrived to the hospital with a full flower bouquet in his hands, he reached the room and found Pepper sleeping at the feet of her husband. He smiled and cleared his throat, Pepper woke up.

"Oh, Steve, thanks for stopping by" She said and pulled a chair next to them, Steve sat while putting the bouquet next to Happy.

"No problem, I apologize for not stopping earlier, I just found out"

"It's all right" Pepper said and gave him a smile "Why didn't you bring Sharon?" She asked trying to confirm Tony's story, Steve looked surprise but was a way too polite to tell her to fuck off.

"We're no longer together" he said. Pepper smiled honestly.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"The mandarin is looking for Tony" She said and Steve tensed.

"Where's Tony?"

"He's all right, he left an hour or two ago"

"Is he all right?" Steve asked, his voice bossy, Pepper just nodded, then the nurse came in.

"Mrs. Potts you need to see this" She said and turned the TV on, flipping through the channels.

"We're not really on the mood" Pepper said getting pissed by the interruption.

"You need to" She said and reached the channel she was looking for, 3 pair of eyes looking attentively, it was Tony. Tony threatening a terrorist, giving his address. Then the image changed, it had a low banner saying "LIVE"

Pepper knew the place, she knew it perfectly, she had lived there. It was Tony's house, she watched how the missile hit and how the house started falling, she was speechless but tears falling down.

"Is that Tony's house?!" Steve asked terrified. Pepper just nodded.

When she turned to face Steve, the Captain was already gone.


	12. Chapter 12

Tony was walking to the door, someone had ding dong it, he smiled entertained, he had just threatened a terrorist and his door kept on sounding a welcoming ding dong, he told Jarvis and tried to ignore the man that was following him. Then he reached for the door, nothing.

"I don't understand how they could activate it without touching it" Tony said looking at the door, thinking in various ways to mock his security system.

"It's a trap" he heard James behind him and rolled his eyes.

"Jeez, calm down!" Tony said still looking at the door.

"It's a trap!" James' desperate voice was quieted by a hitting missile entering the living room. The broken glass noise sent shivers to Tony, he tried to reach for the iron man suit but everything happened a way to quick, he fell into the hard broken concrete. He heard his own yell, terrified by pain. "Shit" he mumbled with blurry eyes.

Then another missile stroke, the ceiling cracked and he saw how a big concrete piece was about to smash him, then he saw James between him and his imminent death.

"I've got you" he heard James voice and felt grateful, he saw blood in his face, James was seriously hurt, but those deep blue eyes were looking at him with no fear, his strength made Tony nod and rolled in the floor, lifting his arm avoiding the falling ceiling.

Then the iron man suit came, he remembered trying to get James outside, the floor cracked and he pushed James into the other side, he heard a scream. Another missile entered the house, Tony gave the helicopters a daring look. "Let the game begin" He said and walked in their direction. He sent a missile, one helicopter down. "The house won't hold any longer Sir" It was Jarvis's voice, so he just nodded and sent the second tiny missile, he took down another helicopter. "Two down, one to go" He said and another missile landed directly into the exposed structure of the house, it couldn't take it, it fell like if it were Lego pieces to the ocean, Iron Man's suit was trapped between concrete and steel and its weight dragged him into the depths of the ocean, drowning in his own suit.

When Steve arrived to the address he had memorized from the screen TV, nothing was left. He saw a man standing at the edge of the construction "Hey!" He had screamed and saw how the other man completely dressed in black clothes with some silver in his arm shining jumped after the fallen house.  
Couldn't be. He tried to convince himself. It couldn't be Bucky.  
"TONY!" He shouted desperately, no one answered, then a quick prayer slipped his lips and he jumped into the ocean. The water was really messy, concrete and steel floating around made it mortal. Still Steve tried.

Tony was catching his breath inside the suit. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. Water was rising inside his helmet, salt wetting his lips, it wouldn't last longer. Water was terrifying. He hated it. Then he heard Jarvis and felt a hand holding him, pulling him out of the steel trap he was caught in, he was free, but still drowning, he saw how a silver hand took his and helped him go up. "Get me out of here" he commanded. Jarvis didn't know if it was meant for him or for the guy that was helping him, but as he read Tony's physical condition, he didn't hesitate and the iron man suit went flying out of the water and into the air. Bucky smiled, then he turned around to face a well-known blond.

In the middle of the ocean between steel and concrete Steve saw Bucky. He stood completely frozen, holding his breath underwater, it was him. He saw how his old friend smiled at him and then all of the sudden disappeared swimming. Steve tried to follow but the other man swam faster. Then he swam back to the surface, he breathed. Took a deep air breath into his lungs and got underwater again, hopelessly looking for Tony.

Tony opened his eyes. He didn't know where he was, or what had happened. The suit opened leaving him completely unprotected, he looked around, snow covering the landscape, he sighed, it was freezing in here.

"Where are we? And what are we doing here?" Tony asked angrily

"Tennessee, I followed the last coordinates you asked for" Jarvis replied and Tony buffed angrily. "damnit" he muttered and stood, then he ran out of energy and the suit simply turned off. "Please don't leave me buddy" He muttered, but it was hopeless, now he needed to carry it.

The road was rough, it was freezing and he was wearing a black tank top and a pair of jeans, he kept on walking, his mind thinking in everything that had just happened, his destroyed house, his suit, his health. He felt his heart racing and kneeled hopelessly in the middle of the snow, he buried his face in his hands. Maybe ironman was too much for him, maybe he just needed to stop pretending to be a hero, as Steve himself had said it. Maybe he wasn't really as marvellous as he thought he was. He was so tiny, so pathetic.

Like a rush came all those memories of New York, of dying, of watching the real threat, he saw himself as a mortal man. He wasn't a hero, he was just a crazy engineer wearing a suit, everyone able to wear it was going to be a hero, Steve was right. He started breathing heavily, his hands trembling, what the hell was happening? Jarvis wasn't here to answer his thoughts.  
He laid on the cold snow, losing sense of his legs and hands, then he felt a hand in his back.

"Tony you're freezing" It was James's voice. Tony tried to speak, but his heavy breathing didn't allow it "Come on" James took him by the wrist and lifted him, carrying him in his arms, while pulling the iron man suit behind them.

"Why are you here?" Tony managed to say after his breath recovered.

"I… don't know" The other man answered swallowing hard, he left Tony near a house and ran into the woods, climbing a tree still watching him, he saw how Tony entered the attic of that unknown house, after more minutes saw a kid entering, he smiled to himself and ran away from there. Being there meant exposing Tony.

He didn't know why, actually he had looked for Tony because Hydra wanted the engineer, that was the plan, but after a week with him he had managed to hide from Hydra, and report he wasn't capable of kidnapping him. Of course Hydra didn't believe him, and in an attempt of brainwashing him, he had escaped. So now he was constantly moving, hiding from SHIELD, hiding from HYDRA. He knew being near Tony meant a risk for him, but he couldn't really stay away, not since the moment he had met the man. He kept on running, not far away from Tony, but still not too close.

...

After finally coming to terms with the kid he was now living with, he was feeling better. He was grateful of James saving him from dying frozen, but still sadness couldn't leave him. The kid somehow noticed it.

\- Why are you so sad? Is it New York?

That was it, those words made memories flying through his head, dizziness, edgy breath, his heart racing, he got out of the attic, falling to the snow, and the kid followed him.

"I didn't say anything! Are you all right?"

"I can't… Stop talking!" Tony was angry now, still trying to catch his breath.

"Are you sad because you're having these attacks?"

"I'm not having… attacks" Tony replied, still half-breathing

"Do you miss someone?" The kid said and Tony gave him a hatred look and walked away of the attic, he just managed to say "Give it a look" referring to the suit.

He walked to the nearest place, he was now better, he didn't understand why he kept on having these attacks. Panic attacks, Jarvis had it diagnosed that way. He found a telephone and dialled the so well-known number.

"Pepper…"

"Tony!" It was Steve's voice and Tony felt a jump in his heart, why was Steve answering Pepper's phone?

"Steve?!"

"Oh My God, You're alive! Where are you? I've been so worried, didn't know where to look, I thought you we… were…" Tony heard how Steve's voice broke completely and heard a sobbing

"I'm all right" Tony said and took a deep breath "Listen to me Steve, I'm not going back. I need to catch this guy, I need time to figure out what I've been doing, who I am, who I'm supposed to be… "

"I'm sorry" Steve said and Tony stopped talking "I'm sorry about everything, please I need to help you, to find you, you don't need to be alone Tony" Steve said in a soft but still agitated voice.

"I need to" Tony said and hung up, he pressed his forehead to the glass "I love you" he muttered to himself "But I need to fix this" Then he got out of the telephone box and walked to the nearest cafeteria.

Steve didn't hear from Tony since that call, he told Pepper Tony was alive and she was so grateful, and tried to console him by telling him, he was going to be back, he was going to be all right. But that wasn't enough for Steve. He managed to get into Tony's destroyed house ruins, he found the iron man broken helmet, he put it on and Jarvis greeted him.

"Jarvis!" Steve cried

"I'm here Captain"

"Is Tony safe?" He asked, it had been 3 days without knowing about Tony

"He's all right Captain"

"Call me Steve" Steve said and Jarvis left out a sigh.

"Do you love him?" Jarvis asked and caught Steve by surprise, he hesitated a little but then answered firmly.

"I do"

While Tony was lost, Steve took that time to track Bucky, he tried to find the relationship he had to do with Tony, analysing everything that had to do with HYDRA and Tony's work, Jarvis helped him out during his research. He only kept on asking how Tony was and where he was, but Jarvis didn't answer the last question, he just kept telling him he was alive.

More days went by, Steve came to see Happy daily, trying to get notices from Tony, but there was nothing new. The mandarin was already caught, but still no news of Tony, until one morning he was in his usual run and he took Pepper's call.

"He's back" she said and he smiled widely

"Where is he? How is he?"

"He's getting surgery, he's at the Main Hospital"

"What happened?!" Steve asked almost screaming

"Come, I'll be here"

He ran to the apartment he was sharing with Sam, he took a quick shower, dressed up with a pair of jeans and a blue flannel, grabbed an apple and ran out of the apartment. He took a bus and walked to the hospital, in less than half an hour he was there. Pepper greeted him, she looked so much better.

"How's he?" Steve rushed asking and Pepper smiled

"He's all right, he decided to remove his reactor" She said and Steve went pale.

"I thought it was essential for him to live" He said edgy

"It was, he injected himself with the Extremis"

\- English please – Steve said and cracked her a shy smile, Pepper smiled back and walked to the cafeteria asking the blond to follow her. They sat at the table taking each one a cup of tea.

"Extremis is something Tony created trying to reconstruct the super soldier serum" Steve looked surprised, but she kept on going "It didn't work out well, it killed everyone who was injected with it, I thought Tony had quit on it, but it seems he didn't. He made it work"

"So he re-constructed the serum and injected it? He's like me?"

"Is not that simple Steve, is not like the Serum, it did help to remove the reactor, but I don't know how Tony's health is compromised. I don't know why he took it out, I don't understand" She confessed looking hurt, why he hadn't done it when they were together?

"The good news is that he's here, and he's alive" Steve said coldly and Pepper just nodded.

When he finally got the permission he needed to see Tony, he took the elevator and walked to the room they had said "207" he read in the glass door but saw another man inside it, he opened the door and was completely shocked.  
There again was Bucky. He didn't like the scene, Bucky lying on the empty spot of the bed while Tony was sleeping cuddling with him, his face on a pillow while his arms hugging Bucky's leg, he saw how Bucky was staring at the engineer, digging his fingers through his hair.

"Stay away from him" Steve didn't think it twice, jealousy heating his body, Bucky looked at him surprised but still gave him a smile.

"I won't hurt him, I swear. I'm not with HYDRA, I'm recovering Steve" Bucky said smiling, but Steve didn't trust him.

"Then what are you doing here alone? Why you keep on following him?" His voice edgy, and his steps closer to the bed.

"I don't know… I guess, I guess I'm falling for him" Bucky said looking deep into Tony's peaceful sleepy face and then turned to see Steve again.  
The blond one tried to control himself from strangling the man, he didn't know what version to believe, any version that crossed his mind was uncomfortable and threatening him.

"Back off Bucky" Steve said madly and his best friend gave him an angry look, standing up carefully but confronting him physically.

"I won't" he said sharply.


	13. Chapter 13

Steve was sitting in a chair next to Tony's bed, he was holding the engineer's hand and watching his sleep. "You'll see me around" those words kept crossing his mind, Bucky somehow threatened to stick around Tony, the blond one scratched his hair, this was a completely fucked up situation. After 75 years of losing his best friend, now he finally found him, and he was finally recovering from the brainwash and was back into his principles, it was perfect.

Then life managed to screw everything up and made them both fall for the same guy. Well, Steve in his thoughts chuckled, he wasn't falling for Tony, he loved Tony, he needed him. He kept on having these tremblors and anxiety each time they were pulled apart. And as a matter of fact they were somehow together, Bucky was just impressed by Tony's intelligence and knocked off by his beauty. Yes, that was it. Steve tried to convince himself that his best friend wasn't a threat for them.

Tony's voice interrupted his thoughts. He tangled his fingers between Tony's and looked at him with watery eyes.

"James?" Tony's voice babbled, he didn't open his eyes. Steve's thoughts fell into pieces, who was he kidding? Bucky was becoming a serious threat.

"Tony is me" Steve said, his voice softer than usual, his hands rubbing Tony's. Tony turned his head and slowly opened his long black eyelashes. His brown eyes sparkled in joy as seeing the blond one holding his hand.

"Steve!" He said excited and tried to move closer to him, the blond didn't resist it, he stood and leaned into Tony's bed, wrapping the older man in his arms, his lips kissing chastely Tony's brown wavy hair. He breathed in, impregnating himself with Tony's scent. "I've missed you so much" Steve said still having him close, Tony pulled away looking right into Steve's eyes, the Captain couldn't stand that beautiful smile for long, he leaned on Tony's body and placed a soft kiss in Tony's mouth.

Tony closed his eyes, absorbing in one chaste kiss everything Steve couldn't say, his lips burnt, his watery eyes let out a joy tear. Steve broke apart, leaning his forehead in Tony's, both noses rubbing and those big light blue eyes digging deep in his soul."I missed you too" Tony said in a whisper and Steve kissed him again, still soft and chaste. Always caring of Tony's fragility.

For an instant everything was perfect, then a thunderous storm of thoughts shook the engineer. Steve wasn't with him, he was with that girl he had introduced him some weeks ago. He gave him a hatred look and pulled away, crossing his arms in his chest, just like a 5 year old. Steve understood and chuckled.

"What are you laughing at capsicle?" Tony asked with that arrogant voice that Steve labelled it as the sexiest mood Tony could be in. He laughed "Nothing, you're just a kid" Steve said and Tony rolled his eyes.

"If not being a 100 is being a kid, then I guess I am" Tony said still pissed and Steve took the engineer's hand and squeezed it. "I missed that too" He said and cracked him a smile, Tony pretended he didn't see him. After a few minutes of silence Tony couldn't handle his jealousness and tried his best to not sound like a complete psycho.

"So how's this girl of yours? Sharon?" He asked without looking at him. Steve laughed. Tony knew that sound, it sent him shivers every time he heard it, but it had been a couple of months without really hearing it "By the way, who's James?" Steve asked and Tony cracked him a smile, covering his eyes with his hand. "Shit" Tony muttered and Steve lifted an eyebrow, locked in Tony's eyes, waiting for an answer.

"I asked you first" Tony replied and gave him a smirk. Steve rolled his eyes.

"You two are ridiculous" It was Natasha's voice, Steve smiled at her, Tony was impressed by seeing her here, they weren't close, they didn't even were friends. Then Tony spotted shy Bruce Banner behind her, he was holding a doughnuts box. Tony smiled widely.

"Bruce" He said and Bruce walked near Tony, hugging him tightly. "I'm glad you're alive" Bruce said firmly, his words hiding a hundred questions and a thousand scolding."I'm glad you are here" Tony said and saw how Natasha sat next to Steve, she was here because of Steve, not because of him. He bit his lips, since when does they had come this close?

Natasha somehow managed to grab Steve and go out for lunch, Bruce had refused saying he was going to stay here while they were out. At the moment they were away, Bruce took a chair, leaning the closest he could be of Tony without touching him, and gave him a concerned look.

"How did you do it? And at what cost?" Bruce asked dryly. Tony bit his lip, he couldn't really fight this."I made Extremis work. Not work like the serum, I'm starting to believe that's impossible. But it did regenerate the circulatory system, having a shield surrounding the heart while the shrapnel was magnetically pulled out of my body"

"What cost? You knew Tony, you fucking knew it wasn't ready" Having Dr. Banner curse was even harder than Steve, and Tony had somehow managed to make both men curse in less than a year, he was expecting a medal. "I don't know. I believe it will cause serious damage, but I expect it to be after some years" Tony said without looking at him.

"How much?"

"I have no idea, it's like a cancer, you may have it already but you can't quite notice until it's already killing you"

"You should've wait. The element was working just fine"

"It wasn't"

"What do you mean?" Bruce demanded.

"I don't know, I just… numbers kept on showing trouble, but I couldn't really analyse the problem"

"Damn Tony" Bruce cursed again and buried his face between his hands. After a few more minutes the scientist spoke again "I'm just glad you're alive"

After more days being hospitalized and finding out Happy was back, he was feeling lighter. He had Steve's company at nights and he hadn't seen James since Steve arrived, sometimes he even doubted if James was real. Then one night Steve was called out because someone had spotted the winter soldier. Steve had explained Tony "The Winter Soldier" was actually Bucky who had been captured by HYDRA and somehow brainwashed and turned into a fatal enemy. Steve had asked him if he knew Bucky and Tony had of course rolled his eyes and answered a cold "You haven't introduce me prince charming yet"

Steve walked out of the hospital searching for Bucky, he now was sure that Tony didn't know who was he dealing with, which of course wanted to tell him but still didn't know how. He kept on looking for Bucky, but nothing was here.  
Back at Tony's room, Tony almost had a heart attack by watching a wet all dressed in black James entering the room.

"Why do you appear every time Steve goes away?" Tony asked and Bucky chuckled "Let's just say we are fighting over something" Bucky said and walked near him, his hand rubbing gently Tony's cheek "I'm glad you're back" Tony said honestly and Bucky cracked him a smile, his deep blue eyes watching him closely. He then leaned and gave him a soft kiss in the forehead, somehow showing his real intentions to him. Tony felt how his heart bumped, he did not expect that. He really didn't. Somehow this complete stranger managed to get into Tony's mind.

"I won't be near for a while."

"Why?"

"Let's just say I'm a really wanted person" Tony gave him a smirk and Bucky understood the double meaning of his words and cracked him a smile "I mean, I'm desirable, I know. But SHIELD and HYDRA are looking for me, and Little Captain America is too, so I better get lost for some years" Bucky said giving him a concerned lame look.

"You don't have to, you can live with us, I'll talk with Steve" Tony said and Bucky smiled widely, this was exactly his plan.

"I really can't"

"You can, is my tower, my money will be the one supporting the Avengers initiative, and let's face it, living with the mightiest heroes really helps you being safe"

Bucky smiled widely and nodded, he said he was going to be there in less than expected and gave him a goodnight kiss on the cheek, walking out of the hospital, he was about to reach the main door when he saw Steve walking straight to him "I told you to get away from here" Steve said confronting him physically, his chest rubbing Bucky's.

"After all this time, we're now together and you're being such a jerk, what's your fucking problem?! Where's the Steve I used to know?" Bucky asked, his dark blue eyes filled with honesty and doubt, Steve let out a deep sigh "Tony's mine" He said and then dug his light blue eyes into his friends' eyes. Bucky took a step backwards and a perfect "o" was formed in his lips.

"I thought you were a rightful catholic" Bucky said mocking him, Steve didn't smile "I am. Just step away" Steve said peacefully and Bucky let out a cold sarcastic smile. "Just because you like him doesn't mean he's yours"

"I just don't like him" Steve's voice became bossy, edgy, sharp "I love him"

"Oh you do?" Bucky smiled coldly "Then I guess my friend that we'll let Tony decide who he wants to be with"

"I don't want to fight you Bucks" Steve said and his eyes went full in sadness "Then back off" Bucky said edgy and Steve smiled coldly.

"You don't stand a chance James"

Bucky froze when he heard Steve calling him by his name, he didn't want to fight Steve, he didn't really want to. He had missed the man for so long, he loved the man, it was like a brother. Actually they were as how they called each other: brothers from another mother. But he did like Tony too, he could feel he was falling for the engineer, and Steve, Steve wasn't gay. And Steve wasn't brave enough to confront the world and to stick to Tony's side, he was the kind of man that followed rules and orders, he had his moral principles before everything, his country before his life. No, Tony deserved more than that. So he looked deep into Steve's eyes and let out a smile.

"I'll see you around" He said and disappeared into the night.

Steve walked into the elevator and ran through the hospital until he reached the so well-known room, he found Tony buried in a deep sleep, he let out a sigh. He needed to talk to Tony, he really needed to.  
When Tony woke, he found Pepper sitting next to him, clothes were lying in her lap and she was looking viciously through her starkphone.

"Morning" Tony mumbled and Pepper smiled at him.

"Get dressed, you're getting out" She said and threw him some clothes, she stood and walked to the window of the room, giving New York a calm smile and a deep look.

"I want a press conference" Tony said and Pepper looked at him with an outrageous look "You're kidding"

"I'm not" He put the leather jacket, smiled at her and waked out of the hospital room, Pepper rolled her eyes and made a call.

Steve was at the small apartment, he was dressing to go to the hospital in his daily visitation, then Sam walked out of his room and into the living room.

"You need to watch this" Sam said and turned the TV on, flipping through the channels, Steve remembered last time he had heard this, it had been related to Tony, so he didn't complain and watched the TV. Then there it was, Tony.

He was dressing a black suit, a white dressing shirt and a red bow around his neck, he looked handsome. He saw how Christina Everhart stood looking directly to Tony.

"I know that girl" Steve said pissed and Sam shushed him.

"Mr. Stark, we've been informed you decided to remove the rector and that you auto destroyed all iron man robots and possible suits you had. Does that mean the end of iron man? Was it too large for you to fit in? Is the hero dead?" She asked and all the place went silence, thousands of civilians gathered around the media watching how Tony stood there, speechless. Steve bit his lip.

"Next question" Pepper spoke, taking a mic "No, it's all right. I'll answer Mrs. Everhart doubts" Tony said and smiled, then he continued:

"Hero is not a noun, but a verb. Is about being heroic, is not about SHIELD, is not about Banner hulking out, and is not about Steve's serum. Is not about Natasha's and Clint's impressive formation. Neither about Thor being an alien. Is not about the suit, nor the reactor. The avengers don't stand because of the money, but because of the people.

An iron man suit doesn't define who the hero is. Choices do define who of us become heroes.

I believe we can keep the promise of our founding, the idea that if you're willing to work hard, it doesn't matter who you are, or where you come from, or what you look like, or where you love. It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or Hispanic, or Asian, or Native American. Or young, or old, or rich or poor. Abled, disabled, gay or straight. We can make it here and now"

People burst out in screams of joy, delighted. Thousands of "I love you Tony" were heard, Steve watched the screen TV with a huge smile on his lips, his eyes glowing in joy, in amazement, he admired and loved this man. He loved him through the bones. Then Tony held a hand asking them a bit of silence, Christina gave him a hatred annoyed look, Tony continued.

"I may lose everything someday, but at the end… I am and will always be, Iron Man"

He ended up his speech with a charming smile and people went screaming even louder, no more questions were asked, even the media felt touched. For the first time in many decades the headlines were fair to Tony. Steve took a backpack, packing the necessary, Sam looked at him doubtful.

"Where you going?" He asked before the blond one walked out, he turned and gave his friend a smile.

"I belong to the Avengers" Steve said and left the apartment, making his way to the Stark Tower, well, now was… The Avengers tower.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Home

* * *

Some people keep on telling me to use quotation marks. So I tried, please tell me if it's easier to read it this way.  
Thanks c:

* * *

He walked inside the Tower and entered the elevator, his phone started ringing, he took it and read "Tony" on the screen, an inevitable smile was formed at the edge of his mouth, and he picked up.

"So did my speech conquer you this much?" Tony's voice was heard through the phone, the man holding the starkphone smiled widely.

"It did" Steve's voice was soft, he could swear he was hearing a chuckle

"Hit for the 25th floor"

Then an empty tone telling him that the other man had hung up, he did as ordered and watched from the glass elevator all the people Stark had working for him, he even felt a knot in the throat, besides being a hero, a genius, a true philanthropist, he was also a billionaire, a name, a face. He was of the most powerful men in the world, the leader and creator of the most recognized and biggest technology company. He swallowed hard. Tony Stark was truly a man he admired.

The elevator's doors' opened and Steve walked inside a huge empty space, he saw packed furniture in the corner, then he saw Clint carrying chairs and Natasha ordering where to put it. He then turned to see Bruce unpacking groceries and trying to put an order to that huge black and silver kitchen. He stood amused. He thought he was going to be the first one in here. He was wrong.

Then Tony appeared, talking out loud about what rooms he had and that he had already designed them to fit to the owners, he also pointed out a huge floating glass rectangle above them, which was the laboratory. Bruce grinned delighted.

"Welcome Capsicle, come on, grab a sofa, let's start pimping this out" – Tony said and Steve rolled his eyes but did as ordered and took the biggest sofa, moving it without any effort.

After some few hours the space was ready, Tony labelled it as the common rooms. It had a huge living room which was connected to a huge kitchen and a luxurious minimalist bar. There was also a piano, and a ping pong table. Somehow everyone felt welcomed to this new friendly superhero environment.

"Over here" Tony said and everyone followed him, behind the glass walls were some subtle hallways which led to some rooms. At left after going through a garden was a tinted glass door, in silver clean minimalist typography could be read "Agent Romanoff" Natasha smiled and without giving them a look, entered the room, locking the door behind her.

"Well, that was scary" Tony said and walked through the garden, entering another one and leading them to another room "Clint" could be read, the archer smiled.

"You know, I'm not staying here forever, I have a home to go to" Clint said and no one understood what he could be talking about, they saw how Hawkeye entered the room.

"Anyway…" Bruce said and Steve smiled at him. He was starting to like this, even Bruce.

"Come" Tony said and Steve and Bruce followed him, they passed through a Buddhist garden, which had a tiny waterfall, Bruce chuckled. "Banner" could be read, Bruce smiled and thanked Tony, after giving him a quick hug and entering the room, ignoring Steve.  
So now there were both of them left.

"Come on" Tony said and walked to the other room, passing through a flower garden, Steve blushed. It was really feminine but he liked it, he really did like it. "Capscile" could be read, he rolled his eyes and Tony smiled.

"I'll leave now" The engineer said and turned away, but Steve grabbed him by the hand, Tony turned to see him.

"I need to talk to you" Steve said and Tony nodded, he knew, they really needed to talk about everything.

"All right" Tony said and turned to walk away, Steve looked around, everyone was in their rooms. He followed Tony, they entered the elevator which took them 2 levels above. Steve was knocked off. The penthouse just as he remembered it. He had lived there for 3 months, he knew the place. Being here somehow sent chills through his body, he instinctively walked to the guest room he had been staying at. He was shocked to find Tony didn't move anything, not even made the bed or allowed someone to make it. A nostalgic smile was drawn on his lips.

"Just as you left it" The older man said and Steve nodded at those words giving Tony a concerned look.

"So, what you want to talk about?" Tony asked and grabbed a beer from the fridge, Steve walked near him and rested his elbows at the bar table. His light blues deep into Tony's.

"I'm sorry for being a dick" Steve said and Tony stood there speechless, he did not expect that coming.

"Go on" Stark said entertained and took a large sip at his beer. Steve rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry for everything, for being a coward, for hurting you, for leaving you alone, for fighting you instead of fighting my moral ethics. I was raised in an era in which homosexuals were haunted and murdered, and no one saw it wrongly. I was just so afraid" Steve's voice broke and then he gave Tony a serious look and a fond smile. "I guess I fell for the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist" Steve said remembering the exact words Tony said to describe himself.

"Let's not get moody" Tony warned and Steve rolled his eyes.

"I love you Tony"

Tony somehow knew it, after everything they'd been up to. But now, hearing it from Steve's lips was an unpredictable shock. He stood there quietly, he loved the man too. He really did, I guess he was afraid too, well, he was terrified. Then James came across his mind. Shit. He lowered his sight and scratched his brains, Steve watched him with a fond smile.

"I'm sorry Steve, it was just sex" Tony said without looking at him, Steve somehow felt how he broke inside, but kept on firm. He didn't believe it.

"I know is hard to admit it"

"There's nothing to admit" Tony said and then chuckled madly, he still wasn't ready for committing, for a relationship. An intense fear raised through his blood.

"Sometimes I really hate your lack of commitment" Steve said and took some steps closer to Tony, the billionaire took the same steps backwards, trying to run away, then his back hit the glass wall behind him. Shit, he was trapped.

"So, it was just sex, right?" Steve teased and Tony nodded. "All right" those words brushed Tony's ear.  
Tony felt how Steve's breath was in his neck, sucking through his nostrils his scent, he felt somehow so unprotected, so tiny as compared to the taller, stronger man that was covering him. He felt a big hand touching his back gently.

"Steve what are you doing?" Tony asked trying to hide the pitched fear in his voice.

He didn't get an answer. He felt how the blond kissed him deep, rough, sucking all the air from his lungs, holding him by the waist, lifting him naturally, he was no longer standing, his toes flying at few inches from the floor.

He had never been submissive, to anyone in his life. Not in work, neither in sex. But now, being embraced by such a big man, being touched in such a gentle but firm way, he felt his natural human weakness and gave in, he felt how Steve led him through the place, until he was carefully landed in his well-known bed, the blond one on his top.

Steve's hands were trembling, he had never done this before, he was always led by Tony, but now he wanted to feel the man in a very different way he had felt it before. Tony moaned when he felt a mouth swallowing his erection, he arched his body and closed his eyes, losing himself at the moment.

The sunrise sunlight came through the huge glass wall, he moved between the sheets and opened his eyes to find himself alone in bed, somehow he wasn't surprised. He yawned and smiled at those vivid memories of Tony's moans and yells, at how his body looked like if it was made to fit in Steve's. He could still feel the tightness of Tony around his cock, he licked his lip. Damn.

He rolled on the bed and sat at the edge, he scratched his hair and walked to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and dressing the same clothes he had yesterday, he took the elevator. When the doors opened he had the whole avengers team staring at him and then back at Tony, who was at the kitchen next to the coffee maker.

Clint left out a giggle and continued watching the show he had been watching, Natasha gave him a full disapproval look and got back into her book, Bruce tried hard not to stare at him, but somehow couldn't manage. Thor who came out of nowhere really seemed to not really get why the team was acting in such a strange way and greeted him loudly, Steve blushed and walked out of the elevator. As soon as he reached for the kitchen he saw a very well-known man sipping from his coffee mug.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Steve wasn't subtle in any way, he was pissed. Like really pissed. Bucky gave him a look and smiled widely, Tony somehow managed to walk and stood in the middle of them.

"What is he doing here Tony?" Steve demanded and suddenly all the Avengers attentions were placed on the scene Steve was making.

"He'll stay some days or weeks in here"

"Why?" He demanded furiously.

"I thought he was a dear friend of yours" Natasha said and both Steve and Bucky gave her a hatred look, she quickly shut up and got her attention back to her book.

"You know James?" Tony asked and Steve walked furiously to his room, avoiding looks and ignoring Tony.

"You know Steve?" Tony asked and Bucky simply smiled and took the mug, entering the elevator. Tony looked at the team, Bruce lifted his shoulders in attempt of telling him, he didn't understand either. Tony rolled his eyes and followed Bucky upstairs.

"I worked for HYDRA, and Steve was sent to find me" James said in a soft calm voice while sitting in Tony's penthouse living room.

"Are you The Winter Soldier?" Tony asked and Bucky looked deep into his eyes.

"No" He lied. Tony nodded, well at least he wasn't messing around with one of Steve's friends.

...

Weeks went by calmly, Steve became even bitchier to the team, especially to Tony. He didn't like Bucky being here, being this near to Tony. Using as an excuse the analysis of his arm to get into Tony's lab, and into Tony's schedule. Of course Steve didn't let him be as near as Bucky would've liked to be.

On the other hand Bruce was accommodating nicely in the tower, he had begun a research about Extremis and kept on analysing Tony's health without no one noticing it. Mostly he was spending time with Tony and surprisingly: Natasha.

Natasha was a mystery. She didn't complain, but didn't thank anyone neither. She was just wandering around the common areas when she wasn't out on a mission, sticking near Bruce for some unknown reason. Even Stark had a theory about how Natasha was still a Russian super spy who wanted to murdered him in his sleep, Banner didn't like this theory.

Clint on the other hand clicked immediately with James and consecutively, with Tony. The three men somehow managed to hit countless parties on weekends, and having these night reunions in which they kept on joking and mocking each other's for various reasons. They were natural bullies.

Thor didn't stay much at the tower, Jane was visiting them, so mostly every afternoon the sweetheart couple was out, occasionally Jane slipped through Bruce's lab and asked his opinion about her research, Tony tried to get into the papers too but for some odd reason, Jane didn't trust him.

Bucky knew what he'd been doing, some days he felt regret and tried to convince himself to step out of what he called the "oblivious and self-destructive relationship" referring of course to Steve and Tony. He did enjoy looking how stupid could Steve turn into when he heard Tony talking about science, or how his pale cheeks turned red when Bucky "accidentally" leaned too close to the billionaire. On other days he couldn't handle the deep harassing feeling that filled his heart each time Tony was near him, those days he even thought of strangling the honourable Captain. He was in some way thankful that Steve didn't say anything about their past friendship, he knew that being "Steve's best friend" wasn't a turn on to the engineer, it was better to be the "unknown HYDRA assassin that somehow managed to make Tony not such a jerk"

Tony on the other side was feeling himself at home, not alone for the first time. Most of the time he was in his lab/workshop, Bucky managed to be always there, babbling about everything and nothing, he liked his company, then Clint joined them and three men were growing in a close friendship. He tried to reach for Bruce but figured the scientist was much more delighted by Natasha's company. He hardly got to see Steve, mainly because the Captain was always with Maria Hill and the others agents, but when he managed to see him he didn't miss the opportunity to kiss him, fuck him, and tease him. Steve kept on telling him in various ways he didn't want to be fuck friends, but Tony kept on ignoring him, having small fights every time.

Of course Tony was a natural bully, and Steve a natural bullied kid. So he managed to fulfil they nature, he'd changed all passwords to "Captain Handsome America" which had everyone chuckling about him and Steve tried to get Tony into reason and asked him to please stop messing around with his image. So Bucky came out with a different idea and the password was changed to "Steve sweetie Rogers"  
Steve had just face palmed himself.

Everything was in some way smooth, there was the constant friction between Tony, Steve and Bucky, but they were able to manage it. Then one night the three natural bullies came completely drunk to the tower, having serious difficulty to walk, Steve heard and woke up, exiting his room to find his best friend holding Tony by the waist. Clint already reaching his room.

"Shhhh, you'll wake Steve up" Bucky said and Tony laughed

"Stevie!" he yelled and Bucky shushed him, Tony kept on laughing so Bucky held him by the waist and pushed him to the nearest wall, kissing him roughly.

Steve stood there speechless, broken and with trembling fists. He saw how the engineer kissed the other man too and how Bucky managed to get him into the elevator, in a few more seconds they were gone. He didn't get any sleep that night.

Neither did Tony.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Now I'm a believer.

Steve was sitting in a chair facing the elevator, he didn't get any sleep at night, he had red puffiness around his light blue eyes, his lips tensed. No one asked him why he was there, they just tried to avoid such a random behaviour and kept on the daily chores. Then it happened, exactly what he was waiting for, the elevator's door opened to expose a messy hungover James Barnes.

"I can explain" Bucky said and Steve grabbed him roughly by the arm pushing him outside the elevator, getting inside and closing the doors behind him.

Tony heard the elevator and stepped out of the kitchen

"You forgot something?" he asked believing it was James, but he was shocked by seeing a terribly mad Steve Rogers.

"Did you just fuck my best friend?" Steve yelled and Tony took a step backwards.

"Who?"

"Stop playing it fool, you know damn well Stark" Tony felt a cold fear shiver through his spine, he had never feared Steve, but now he was damn scary. In his defence he could swear Steve could frighten even Natasha with that scowl.

"I really don't know" He mumbled and saw how Steve approached him, rolling his eyes.

"Did you seriously fucked Bucky?"

Now that was a shock, Tony was about to make up something but Steve took him by the shoulders, his big hands losing the gentle touch he always had, gripping his shirt.

"Let me rephrase that, you fucked Bucky at the same period of time you're fucking me" The captain said still holding him in the air and pushed him away. Tony tried to balance his step.

"It sounds worse when you say it that way" Tony said and Steve grunted loudly and pushed him roughly, Tony fell backwards and hit the cold hard marble. He was getting used to get pushed by Steve.

The blond raised his hands to his face and started walking in circles, then he leaned in and started crying mumbling "sorry" and "I sometimes hate you", Tony understood. After some more minutes Steve gave him a deep hatred look and exited the penthouse.

"I guess I deserved that" Tony said lying all alone on the floor.

"You guess?" That was the sarcastic response he got from his AI, he rolled his eyes, yes it was his damn fault and he knew it.

Downstairs Steve was looking for Bucky, it wasn't hard to find, he was in the living room with an anxious look on his face, he was about to speak when a heavy shield hit him and sent him flying through the air, the concrete wall cracked by the impact. The shield got back to his owner.

"Why did you do it?" Steve asked furious

"Nothing happened I swear" Bucky spoke as he tried to get on his feet again.

"You knew damn well how I felt about him and you didn't care and stood right between us!"

"I believed we both had a chance"

"Well it seems you won" Steve said, his eyes watery and his jaw trembling. Bucky let out a desperate yell and embraced Steve in a hug, he hadn't hug the man since he had found him, he missed him so much. Steve felt a terrible nostalgia, and even though he was hurt he hugged him back, desperation tears falling through his face.

"I'm sorry Steve" Bucky said and broke the hug, he rubbed his thumb in his cheek and smiled deeply, he walked to the elevator in complete silence, when he was inside he turned to see his best friend "By the way, you won. You are a lucky bastard" Then the doors were closed and Bucky disappeared.

Steve stood there for a while, he wanted Bucky back, but he couldn't really handle the situation, he kept on walking in circles around the living room, then Natasha approached.

"The sceptre was taken, we need to go" She said and didn't expect a response, she took the elevator heading to the heliport. Steve cursed and took his shield, grabbing the emergency backpacks with uniforms they always had at the common closet.  
Hawkeye was already set in the quinjet, he found Bruce talking with Natasha and Tony already sit at the pilot's seat, he rolled his eyes, he really didn't want to see Tony now.

"Thor's missing" Steve said turning his back to Tony.

"He doesn't need a ride" Tony said and Steve rolled his eyes, he didn't even look at him, he just walked to the farthest place in the jet. After more minutes Tony set the autopilot and walked discretely, sitting next to Steve. Steve let out an annoyed sigh.

"So now you're avoiding me?" Tony said and Steve cracked him a cold smile.

"I'm ignoring you"

The older man chuckled, maybe because he regretted everything, maybe because he was nervous about being so close to Steve in a way, and so pushed apart in another. Most of all because Steve wasn't certain about everything and already was being a dick, so he just rolled his eyes and mumbled "jerk" and walked away of the blond.

Steve tried hard to swallow the instant anger he felt running through his skin, so now he was being the jerk. Excellent! Tony always knew how to clean himself even after getting in the mud he by the way, always created.

Tony had already taken the offended part and was of course expecting Steve to be the first one giving in and looking for him. He dropped his head into his hands and started thinking how to make Tony give in first. He smiled in satisfaction as an idea lit him up.

When they were dropped at the field, Steve managed to keep Tony out of the strategy, even out of the battlefield, the genius noticed quickly and started whining about it, Steve kept on ignoring him. More missions were aboard, all of them had the same intention: Find the sceptre.  
After a week of non-stop battles and a divided team (Tony, Clint and Bruce & Steve, Natasha, Thor) Tony got into the field, Steve of course was the first one to complain.

"Stark get out of here, you don't know the plan" The Captain said while knocking some robots with the shield.

"That's your fault" He said and flew above him, landing exactly by his side

"Get out, there's weird energy in here" Steve said in a preoccupied voice and saw how Iron Man shoot tiny missiles to the approaching robots, sending them all out.

"Yeah right" Tony said and then saw how an odd bot was flying directly to Steve.

"Jarvis" He simply said and Jarvis started scanning it, showing him different energy levels coming from the stranger, he didn't look like the others. Tony flew trying to confront him before it landed near Steve. He shot his repulsors against it, but he avoided it easily "Damn" he mumbled and saw how the bot shot a bluish light directly to his chest.

It incredibly sucked his energy. The suit fell to the ground making a lousy sound "Tony!" Steve screamed and threw the shield with a great deal of hate to the robot that had attacked Tony, the shield passed through it destroying it completely.  
When Steve reached for Tony, the Iron Man suit was blown into pieces leaving a completely unprotected Tony Stark lying in the floor, Steve reached next to him.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" It was Natasha's voice, she wasn't anywhere they could spot her, but still all of them were connected in an audio network.

"I'm all right" Tony said trying to stand up

"Tony you're unprotected in field, we need to retreat" Steve said alarmed and hit the robot that was approaching Tony, then he saw how they started shooting at Tony, he stood between them. Tony spotted a thrown gun and ran to it, Steve rolled his eyes following him closely.

"I need you to give me 2 minutes" Tony said and Steve nodded, defeating everyone that tried to approach Tony.

"The sceptre is not here" Thor was heard through the ear headphone.

"Let's go!" The captain ordered and took Tony by the arm, Tony still holding the weapon and a tiny silver device.

"Come on Stark!" Steve screamed and Tony forced himself out of the other man's grip.

"Hold on" Stark said still working on the small device he had in his hand, Steve rolled his eyes desperately.

"We need to go, is not safe for you!"

"Why you always think I'm so weak?" Tony yelled back and Steve growled in desperation.

"I don't"

"Why you keep on treating me like a kid?!"

"Is not like a kid… I just" Steve said cutting himself off.

"Just what?!" Tony yelled and saw how a new army of robots was walking to them. Steve looked at the aggressors trying to calculate how to knock all of them off and protect Tony at the same time. He felt a sudden desperation because Tony wasn't really cooperating with him, and he knew he was outnumbered, fear went rising through his back, tensing his neck. "What is it?!" He heard how Tony demanded, still stuck on the conversation they had, Steve turned to see the man. He was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a black tank top, he had bleeding cuts in his face. He was terribly exposed.

Stress, fear, desperation, anger, the emotional mixture made the Captain lose it.

"I love you!" He yelled and Tony stood quietly "I've lost so many, I refuse to lose you too, I fucking love you Tony!"

He turned around and was about to throw the shield when Tony stepped closer to him, smiled and walked closer to the robot army, he threw the gun and the device he had picked up and ran to Steve "Get down!" he yelled and threw himself to the ground, he felt how the bigger man hugged him protecting both of them with the shield. A huge explosion was heard, the army was blown up.

"Wow" Clint's voice was heard.

At the moment two facts embraced Steve, first one was admiration and even proudness of Tony's genius, he had produced a bomb with just one broken gun and an aluminium bar, even without the suit he kept on fighting. Second one was the realization that everyone had heard his lame love declaration, he quickly blushed unable to talk to the team, he knew the "wow" that had slipped Clint's lips wasn't because of the explosion, but because of his pathetic words. He sighed.

Tony noticed Steve's reaction and how he was blushing and somehow morally exposed, so he stood up and walked nearer the soldier.

"I love you too Steve"

Steve felt how his knees trembled and how his heart jumped out of his chest, he somehow knew but had never listened it coming from Tony. No one had.

"This is getting weird" Thor's voice was heard and Tony chuckled.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Don't take anything for granted.**

When they were back at the Quinjet no one said anything, Steve would've been grateful if just they weren't staring at him. He was sitting in the floor covering his blushed face and trying to avoid the obvious stares. No one tried to hide it, Natasha was at the corner of the place giving him a complete disapproval look, she looked disappointed and that made her even scarier. Thor was sitting next to him, looking at him with an uncertain expression, he had asked "Why do midgard people insist on making such terrible choices?"

No one expected Thor to be the meanest, well Steve knew he didn't do it on purpose, he disliked Tony and liked him and couldn't understand them, he also had said "Jane and I never fight that way, I don't understand" He was truly puzzled trying to compare his relationship with theirs, it was hopeless, Steve didn't know how to explain, he loved Tony Stark that was enough for everyone to understand he was somehow stupid and getting into a big mess. So he had decided to just ignore the man next to him and rather look at the floor, he didn't mind how long was this going to take, it was better.

Clint was standing close, his hands messing with his phone, he eventually would stare at Steve and then back at Tony and let out a giggle, a smirk or even chuckle about it. He knew about Bucky, now he knew about Steve. It was beyond limit the luck that Stark had.  
Bruce on the other hand was the co-pilot, he had reached the seat in a shy attempt to free himself from the tension that was back there, Tony gave him a smile and continued piloting, then Bruce talked "I'm so proud of you, and happy for you" he said and Tony smiled honestly, he looked at his science bro and nodded "I'm finally listening you" Bruce chuckled and gave him a preoccupied look "Are you dying or something?" Tony rolled his eyes as a response.

Bruce stood wandering around the piloting area, he looked back finding the somehow harassment they were giving Steve, he bit his lip and talked near Tony.

"They are somehow giving Steve a hard time" He said and Tony rolled his eyes, he put Jarvis on charge and stood up, saying a low "thanks" to Bruce as he walked to the scene.

"All right, the show is off, get back on your own business" Tony said clapping his hands and Steve lifted his face, blushing even more, Clint understood and with the last mocking smile walked to another spot, Natasha simply disappeared, Thor stood there sitting next to Steve, he gave Tony a hatred threatening look.

"You better behave yourself Stark" Thor threatened. No one expected that, not even Thor, those words left his lips without permission.

"Get lost Shakespeare" Tony said and saw how the Asgardian stood confronting him, he was so much taller and bigger than the engineer, although his braveness seemed shaded by Tony's daring smile and his irreverent glare. Thor just gave him a look and walked away, Tony smiled and sat next to Steve.

"You all right?" He asked and Steve nodded "Fine" he said and stood there silent. Then the billionaire took one of his big hands between his thin rough hands, blue eyes met brown, those bright eyes surrounded by deep wrinkles always made him smile.

"This is crazy" Steve said and Tony chuckled

"I really love you Cap" Tony mumbled and Steve tried hard not to turn red, the genius kept on going "Even though you're a dick sometimes" That was the Tony he loved, Steve let out a sigh and hugged the older man, wrapping his arms around him, Tony was about to kiss him but Steve broke off and pulled away "Be my boyfriend Tony"

Now it was Tony's turn to blush, he felt how blood burnt through his cheeks, he shook his head "No", Steve smiled and hugged him tighter "Please Tony" the billionaire tried to push him away but it was hopeless, he was so weak and tiny compared to the other man. He tried hard not to give in "Why do you want to have it labelled?" He asked trying to make up an argument.

"I want people to know you're mine" Steve talked in a soft but still bossy voice, Tony had to admit that was a damn good reason, and that his subtle possessiveness was unexpected but damn hot. He stood quietly looking at the other man, Steve had a gentle smile in his face, he leaned closer and whisper on his ear "Be my boyfriend" it wasn't a request, but a command. He smiled and hid his face in Steve's neck, trying to hide his happiness and stupidity "I will" Steve smiled widely and hugged him tighter, he took Tony's jaw, held it high and kissed him deeply.

"We found the sceptre" Thor interrupted the moment and Tony stood up and walked away, trying to hide his joyful teas, Steve ordered Jarvis to land, the Quinjet opened to a snow cold landscape, Steve adjusted his uniform, Natasha took her guns, Bruce was walking in circles around the snow, Thor held his Mjolnir, Clint took his arch. Steve was about to order Tony to keep away of the field but saw him already flying above them, he sighed.

"Stark we don't know if they've got the same energy that turned you off, you better back off" He said trying to sound friendly enough to not start a fight.

"I already scanned them, no threat. And you better watch your mouth Rogers, I am allowed to make you sleep on the couch from now on" He said and flew to the fort that was in front of them, Steve just sighed and mounted his motorcycle, "It's true you know, he's the boss now" Clint said mocking him and ran to the forest, Natasha smiled (Yeah, she amazingly did) and ran closer to his best friend, Thor kept on giving misunderstanding glares. The Captain didn't bother and got into the forest too, the Hulk following him. Sooner than expected the enemy attacked, Iron Man kept flying upside Steve, destroying everything he thought the Captain couldn't notice down there, protecting him as usual.

When he saw Steve was next to Thor he felt safe and flew to the fort but a magnetic shield didn't allow him to get closer he got hit by it, "SHIT!"

"Language" Steve said and continued on fighting, Thor confirmed everything, the sceptre was here, Natasha and Clint were taking down the people, Steve and Thor kept on advancing to the fort, all of them expecting Tony to make the magnetic shield drop.

"Wait a second, no one else is gonna do with the fact that Cap said "Language"?" Tony insisted. And Steve smiled "I know, just slipped out" his breath heavier, Stark could tell the battle in field was getting interesting.

The shield dropped, then Clint was hit. Natasha demanded to get him out of the field, Thor said he would take them out "You and Stark find the sceptre" he said, "Copy that" The soldier answered.  
"And for God's sake! Watch your language" He heard Tony and lowered his head sighing deeply a subtle smile on his lips, "That's not going away any time soon"

After the fight back at the Quinjet, Thor was looking with a tender smile at his brother's sceptre, Steve and Natasha looking after Clint who was seriously wounded and exposed in an iron "bed", Bruce was sitting with his headphones on, trying to stabilize himself. Tony kept on piloting, Steve looked at him once in a while, he could swear something was odd with Stark, though he didn't say anything. Finally they were back at the tower, Steve waited for everyone to get out so he was alone with Tony, then he asked "What did they do to you?" The captain asked and Tony rolled his eyes "Nothing"

"Tony please" he said and sat in the floor, waiting for an answer, Stark was about to talk when Maria Hill entered, "Lab's all settled up boss" she said and Tony was grateful to have someone interrupt this talk. "Actually he's the boss, I just pay everything and design everything, and make everyone look cooler"

Steve rolled his eyes understanding that Tony wanted someone to drag him away, he simply sighed and stood following Maria through the tower. It'd been almost 2 weeks without being home again, he somehow felt safer in here.

Tony reached the Lab, having the sceptre here was exactly what he needed for that mad idea he and Bruce once had, and after seeing what the girl showed him, he wasn't reconsidering it. He could see how Steve was at the living room, and Natasha stuck in Clint's side.

"J, where's James?" Tony asked and Bruce gave him a disapproval look "Don't" he said and Tony rolled his eyes, "J" he insisted.

"He hasn't been around since the fight he had with Captain Rogers" The AI answered

"Fight? Show me" he demanded and a holographic screen showed up a video in which Steve violently attacked Bucky, then he saw how both men hugged and how the winter soldier left without even saying goodbye to him, he bit his lip.

"Jarvis change the password of the building"

"Tony don't" Bruce said and Tony ignored him completely

"What would you like it to be now?"

"Change it to Jerk America Dick Rogers" he said and Bruce face palmed himself.

"Tony I don't get it, you slept with him, it's a normal reaction, you would've done the same if Steve had slept with someone else" Bruce said trying to convince him, Tony rolled his eyes.

"Bruce I would've killed anyone that had slept with Steve, I would've totally destroy the bastard or bitch that goes near him" Bruce looked lost, then a perfect "o" was formed in his lips, he took a step backwards "You didn't"

Tony then let out a big sigh and turned to see the blond man talking to Maria Hill in the living room, he wanted him safe and close, he then turned to face Bruce.

"So about the sceptre…"

Steve looked up to find Tony talking enthusiastically to Bruce, he knew that was taking a while, so he just sighed and went to his room, the changed clothes, took his wallet and walked out of the tower, when he was out in New York he felt like walking. So many things in his mind, first of all having Tony by his side, he felt so happy and excited that thought about the ridiculous but somehow natural idea to buy him flowers, then he remembered Tony's broken expression, something had happened to him and he really needed to find out. So he bought sunflowers and a cold tea, he was walking through Central Park and then took the bus back to the Tower, it was almost twilight. He tried to get into the tower but the security system didn't let him.

"Jarvis it's me" he said a bit annoyed.

"Hello Captain, you must enter the password" Jarvis said.

"I thought it was our home and didn't need one" He said now getting pissed, then a holographic screen appeared in the glass, it showed him a messy Tony standing in the lab, he could see Bruce walking behind him.

"Well, it was before you lost your manners" Tony said and Steve rolled his eyes.

"What are you playing at Stark?" Steve asked pissed.

"Auch, language, I thought I was getting a darling or a sweetheart instead of that cold last name"

This was hopeless.

"All right beautiful, please tell me what on earth could I'd possibly do wrong without even being there?" His words coming out slowly, Tony cracked him a smile, he looked pretty entertained, he took a sip to his coffee mug.

"You need to talk to Barnes" Tony said and Steve was caught off guard.

"Are you nuts?!" Steve asked angrily.

"Don't ask me! You already know that" Tony answered and smiled widely "Behave yourself and I might wait for you"

"This is unbelievable" Steve mumbled under his breath but Tony of course was able to listen.

"Seems you need a motivation, all right, behave yourself and talk to your best friend and I'm eating your ass when you get back"

Steve could hear how Bruce chuckled and Tony had his playboy charming smile on his lips, he felt how heat ran through his body, his cheeks burning, his stomach trembling, he felt a sudden tingling running to his dick. The screen was turned off.

He turned around looking at the sky, letting a huge sigh out of his mouth "Shit" he mumbled and heard behind him Tony's voice "Language" Steve gave the glass a hatred look and walked away of the tower, he couldn't really be mad at Tony, he tried, tried hard, but every time his nerves were starting to bristle he pictured Tony smirking at him, or smiling, or even giving him the silence treatment, and he just smiled, submissively failing to get mad at him.

He stood standing outside the building, where would he be able to find Bucky? This was nonsense. Then a voice next to him made his heart ache, "First day of relationship and he kicks you out, you better have an explanation" He knew the voice, he turned to see his best friend wearing tight jeans a black and red t-shirt and a black leather jacket, he was not dressed as the winter soldier, he smiled. This was wild, seeing a 2015 Bucky was odd, watching him without his military uniform, or casual 40's clothing. Bucky smiled back.

"Well I guess that gives me some time to go and grab a coffee" Steve said and Bucky smiled wider, walking to Steve and wrapping him in a warm hug.

"I'll guess that'd do" Tony said looking at the securities cameras and giving Bruce a warm smile. He walked to reach the coffeemaker but dizziness stroke him, making it all blurry and his knees weakened, he was about to faint when he felt Bruce's arms around his waist. He tried to hold into his friend, who was already taking him down, both men kneeling in the floor, cold sweat started falling through Tony's forehead.

"Tony what's happening?" Bruce asked concerned trying to pull him closer, Tony tried hard to breathe. After a few more minutes he recovered his sight and his strength, he tried to pull away but Bruce didn't let him.

"I need to know" He demanded and Tony shook his head "It's all right" he mumbled under his breath, hiding his face in Bruce's neck. "If you won't tell me, I can't help you. I need you Tony" He said and the other man felt a cold shiver running through his spine, he sighed.

"Don't get moody, I hate it. Come on, let's start Ultron" The scientist said and cracked him a shy smile, he stood up and walked to the other side of the lab, he started flipping through various pages and looking at the screens. Bruce stood there, still kneeling, uncertain of what had just happened.

At a small coffee bistro were two men laughing, Steve hadn't touch the topic and Bucky kept on talking and remembering all those times together, the super soldier hadn't felt this close to home since he had seen Peggy. He felt how Bucky hand touched his, he instantly trembled, he had liked this guy for a 100 years already, he turned into a complete idiot at his touch.

"I needed to talk to you, I need your forgiveness. I can't keep on having these issues, not with you. Everyone but you" Bucky said looking straight into Steve's eyes, Steve trembled and tried hard to hide it, but his friend noticed it.

"It's all right I guess, we weren't really together" he pushed himself to the edge to let those words slip out.

"You're lying. You're hurt, and I understand. But I need you to listen carefully" Bucky said and Steve nodded, he took a big sip to his green tea and breathed calmly, James chuckled.

"We were drunk, like really drunk… No, don't make a frown, is not an excuse, I'm starting the story since the beginning, so you better shut up and listen" Bucky demanded and Steve rolled his eyes, he hadn't changed a bit, Bucky kept on talking, "So we were drunk and finally reached for the elevator, I don't remember how Clint suddenly disappeared, but Tony started calling your name while he was laughing his ass off, I've never been so emotionally hit by someone, he was irreverent, irresponsible, genius… So I couldn't stop myself and kissed him harshly, lifting him up unto the wall, he didn't complain, he kissed me back. In that moment everything was perfect, sucking his scent through my skin, rubbing his chest with my bare hand, he was fiercely"

Bucky stopped to analyse Steve's facial expressions, he was tensed. Really tensed, his muscles were terribly exposed even through the fabric of his t-shirt, his eyes locked at Bucky's, waiting for him to keep on before he loses it, James smiles and goes on, "So, I took him upstairs, he was joking about something, but I wasn't really paying attention, it felt like being high, so high on him. Then we reached for the bed, he slipped down my shirt and I ragged his clothes. He was so damn beautiful, I started licking th…" Steve hit his palm hard on the wooden table, some persons stared at him, Bucky understood he wasn't really interested in details, so he swallowed hard taking a sip from his mug and mumbling a trembling "Sorry"

"All right, I'll just stick to the point" Bucky said and Steve gave him a really hatred look "Please" he mumbled, his teeth gritting. "So, we were down in business, I was kissing him roughly, topping him, he's so vulnerable when you force him to submit. I really didn't notice him, the way his body tensed at my touch or how he was pushing himself into this, I wasn't really paying attention, I was drunk in desire, I wanted him to be mine in a way that I thought could be never yours. I ripped his boxers away, I was about to get inside him" Steve tensed even more, starting to snort in anger, Bucky kept on going, "Then I noticed he was crying. Whining in silence, like a victim when It's about to get raped, I noticed he wasn't really touching me or taking my clothes off, he was just there, giving in. I somehow got out of the trance I had and saw small bruises in his tights, in his wrists, in his neck. I pulled away"

Steve's face was even worse than before, he was angry because he thought Tony had literately fucked Bucky, but now that was nothing compared to the angriness that awoke when he realized someone could have hurt Tony, and he hadn't done anything to stop it, he was about to warn Bucky to better disappear if he didn't want to get killed, but his friend held a hand high "Let me finish" he said and Steve somehow nodded.

"So I turned to see him trying to swallow his tears, and I felt terribly miserable, I didn't want to hurt him in any way, so I thought I was being too harsh on him, so I asked if I was you know, hurting him, but he shook his head and said "keep on" not really looking at me, so I took a blanket and threw it over him, crawling my way next to him, looking straight to him. I demanded for answers and he didn't want to talk, 'cause fuck, at the moment his lips opened he started crying, desperately crying. So I hugged him, pulling him closer to me, he buried his face in my collar bone and said "I'm so sorry, I can't, I love him" at that instant I realized I was getting into more than just bromance so I asked, and he, after managing his sobbing told me everything about you. He loved you in a way that he couldn't handle being fucked by another man, because he wanted to be yours. Only yours"

Bucky said and smiled at watching a complete speechless Steve Rogers, his eyes were full of teary joy and guilt, he knew the man, he just stood there looking at him, waiting for him to talk.

"But you slept there" Steve said in an aimless way to prove he hadn't been such an ass without even knowing what had happened.

"He asked me if I could stay, he was sobbing so hard. I held him all the night wishing it lasted forever. Holding Tony made me feel so complete, so kind and useful. I've never felt that in my entire life."

Bucky confessed, his eyes watery. Steve looked astonished.

"Shit" he mumbled under his breath and stood up, he pulled 20 bucks out of his wallet, leaving them on the table and without even saying goodbye, he left running, heading directly to the Avengers Tower.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Together**

Of course Bucky followed, he reached and grabbed his hand at the middle of the street, Steve turned and saw him smiling "The new code is Jerk America Dick Rogers, I'll miss you" the brunette said and the blond couldn't handle himself and hugged him tight, holding him up to his chest and kissing his hair softly. "Thanks" he mumbled and continued his way. For the first time in his life, he didn't turn back.

When he entered the building he pressed the so well-known button of the common floor, it was almost midnight and no one seemed to be here, he walked directly to the lab, he found Tony sitting in the floor looking through papers and Bruce typing formulas on the holographic screens.

"Tony, may I have a word?" Steve asked, the genius didn't really listen to him, Bruce turned to watch his friend still on the floor, checking up scans and data, calculating mentally and writing everything down a tiny notebook that was resting at his lap.

"He didn't listen" Bruce told him in a half-shy smile, Steve sighs.

"Tony, come please. You have to sleep" He doesn't recommends, but orders. His voice turning sharper, he now has the Cap voice, it works. Tony lifts his head watching him staring at him, he could see how Steve seemed to be waiting an answer, and he hadn't heard the question. Damnit.

"Huh?" He stupidly answered, Steve took air and managed to stay calm.

"Tony, we need to go to sleep" He said in a low tone, a bit ashamed of saying it out loud in front of Bruce, but at the same time saying it out loud because he wanted everyone (Bruce especially) to hear, to listen carefully that Tony was his.

"We're not done yet" Tony answered looking puzzled and holding the papers up, making his point out of it. Steve didn't change his mind nor moved an inch, he just raised an eyebrow waiting for Tony to stand, the genius rolled his eyes "Are you serious?" he said already moody, and started whining, Bruce let out a chuckle and Tony gave him a hatred look "Come on sweetie" Steve said mocking him and Bruce laughed.

Tony rolled his eyes and stood up throwing the papers at the table "You better make it worth Rogers" he mumbled and Steve just grabbed his hand, both men left with tangled fingers.

"The world's going insane" Bruce muttered and grabbed Tony's sheets off the table, he was about to go on on Tony's calculations but Natasha entered the lab "You have to get some sleep too Doctor"

When they reached the room Steve was smiling and listening carefully to all of Tony's complaints. "I understand your work" Steve said and hugged the older man from behind, giving small kisses to his neck and biting exactly under his ear, reaching for the spot he already knew would sent shivers to Tony, and it did. "But I need you to understand I'm taking care of you" he said and Tony moved abruptly.

"You don't have to, I mean, this is not nursery. We are two grown adults pretending to get into a fully mature relationship" Steve giggled at his words "Why you're laughing? I'm serious!" Tony said and took his shirt off, standing shirtless in front of him. "Tony, no one can ever have a mature relationship with you" Steve joked and Tony rolled his eyes but chuckled a bit, he knew it was true, and he was someway happy that Steve didn't ask him to change.

"So what are you working at that's so important?" Steve asked and took his shirt off, he saw how Tony looked away and sat on the bed, stripping his jeans. "Tony" he insisted getting a bit worried and walked near him.

"Nothing, just sustainable energy" Tony lied, he was tempted to tell him the truth but fought against it immediately, Steve wouldn't like the idea, he wouldn't really agree. "That's not new" Steve said and Tony chuckled "Well, we're trying to reach outnumbered levels, not only New York or The States, we're reaching for the world" Steve smiled, warmly smiled. Tony already knew his gestures, this one meant he was proud, he felt terribly guilty about it, he should be doing what he had just said instead of trying to build an army around the world, he couldn't believe it. After everything, he was still a weapon producer. He shook his head trying to wipe that terrible idea from his mind, Steve noticed it. "Is something wrong?" Steve asked, he was already wearing boxers and was finished accommodating the clothes Tony had dropped in the floor.

"Hold me" Tony whispered ashamed of his own words, he didn't like to remember his past, he was a changed man. He was a changed man! Steve immediately climbed up to bed and got under the covers, pulling Tony beneath them, he hugged him tight. It'd been months without having Tony this close, this close and not fucking him, just holding him. That thought reminded him of Bucky, he sighed.

"Tony I talked to Bucky, I wanted to apologize" Steve said and Tony dug his head in his collar bone "You don't have to, it's over" the engineer simply said and wrapped his arms around his Captain, Steve didn't say more. He kept on running his fingers in Tony's wavy hair until he heard how his breath was deeper and calmer, he smiled and kissed his head, falling into sleep.

The next morning he was alone at bed, he was used to it. He walked out the penthouse and found him in the lab with Bruce by his side, he just sighed and went to the common areas searching for someone to talk with, he found Thor. Next days he didn't see Tony, well he saw him working with Bruce, but didn't really had time to chat with him, nor sleep. Both scientist were workaholics. So he went shopping with Natasha, it was a bit odd, but he liked it.

He liked how every dress and piece of fabric fit her perfectly, she chose a dress for the party and he bought a blue long-sleeved formal shirt, he wasn't into fashion, but Natasha kept on saying that the colour of the fabric made his eyes look brighter, so he bought it.  
Both changed outfits as the moment they arrived the tower, he didn't see Tony so he thought he already might be there. "You look handsome" Natasha said and he smiled shyly "You're gorgeous" he said in his gentleman voice and Natasha smiled, both walked into the floor already crowded.

He spotted Tony talking with a huge deal of persons, he saw Rhodey but didn't spot Happy nor Pepper, it was odd, he didn't know anyone and he didn't like Rhodey so he just tried to step away, then Sam appeared and he felt lucky. Unfortunately Sam didn't last long at the party and he was just wandering around the floor, he took some of Thor's beverage that by the way made him feel a little dizzy, but not enough to start looking for Tony.

Although his eyes were unconsciously looking for him… no success. Then he stood petrified watching Natasha being this oddly romantic with Bruce. He held his breath until she was gone, then he stepped closer. "It's nice" He said  
Bruce looked at him with a shocked glare, "Wh-What is?" he replied nervous. "You and Romanoff" Then Bruce cracked. "No, it wa.. no, that was…" Steve chuckled, he knew that feeling of hiding something, he damn well knew it. "It's okay, no one is violating any laws. She's not the most open person in the world, but with you she seems very relaxed" he mocked referring in some ways to himself and his fear of being with Tony and that he completely understood him, he knew what meant for a closed person to relax and open up. "No, Natasha, she just likes to flirt" Bruce said with a broken smile on his lips.

"I've seen her flirt, up close. This ain't that. Look, I may be the world's leading authority on waiting too much… Don't. You both deserve a win" Steve said and smiled fully, he knew the risks, but then thoughts about Tony being held in his arms and Tony being chatty and even searching for cuddle made him smile even wider. It was worth the wait. He walked away still with a tender smile on his lips.

The night went flying by, he saw how the guests were leaving and felt relieved, he didn't like having so much people around, he entered the bathroom, he was washing his hands and heard a voice behind him. "You know, that colour really makes your eyes sparkle" He knew the voice. He turned and saw Tony walking to him, he smiled and placed a soft kiss in his lips. "You look really handsome" Steve said and Tony smiled "I know, I'm looking forward to an endless night" He said and smirked, rubbing slightly Steve's dick over the fabric. The blond one chuckled.

"I hope this ends up soon"

And it kinda' did. They finally were left alone, just the Avengers, Hill, Cho and Rhodey. Steve was sitting next to Thor and next to Rhodey, who was next to Tony. He was liking this guy now, he wasn't really different from himself, he vaguely wondered if being in the army somehow made them with the same principles and moral basis, then Clint's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"It's a trick" He said still playing with the drum sticks he had in hand, Hill next to him laughed, "Is more than that" Thor said.  
"Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!" He said imitating Thor's voice, Steve let out a chuckle. "Whatever man! It's a trick" he continued and Thor chuckled loudly, "Please be my guest" The god said and all the living room fell silent.

"Come on" Tony said mocking "Really?!" Clint asked a bit excited. "Yeah" Thor said and everybody saw Clint standing up. "This will be good" Rhodey said. "Clint you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up" It was Tony and Steve stupidly laughed at his words."I've seen this before" Clint said and started to pull the Mjolnir. It was useless. "Still don't know how you do it" he said laughing. "You feel we're silently judging you?" Tony said and they chuckled, Clint raised a hand "Please, Stark by all means"

Then Tony stood, unbuttoning his vest and walking sexily, everyone started huffing or making sexual teasing sounds. "Never one to shrink from an honest challenge" he said in his arrogant voice, Steve just smiled. "It's physics" he said and he heard Bruce's voice "Physics"  
"Right, so, if I lift it, I...I then rule Asgard?" Tony asked before even placing his hand in the hammer. "Yes of course" Thor said calmly and Steve looked really entertained, covering his mouth with a hand trying not to let out a laugh. "I will be re-instituting Prima Nocta" He said and tried to "physically" lift the Mjolnir. It was useless. "I'll be right back" He said and left the living room, Steve chuckled, then he entered again with the iron man hand on. He tried, it was still useless.

Then Rhodey helped, even both of them couldn't move the Mjolnir. Then Bruce tried, it didn't move. Then Steve stood.  
"Go Steve, no pressure" Bruce said and Thor chuckled. He lifted his long sleeves and with both hands took the hammer "Come on Cap!" Tony said proudly and then Steve pulled, the Mjolnir moved. Thor was no longer smiling. He pulled again, nothing. Thor sighed in relief.

Everything was really working on between them, then some odd robots appeared and a fight came out of nowhere, it wasn't a hard fight to win, it was just really unexpected for everyone. Even for Tony. They were having such a wonderful time and now they were all at Tony's lab trying to understand what had just happened. So Tony had used the sceptre to create this.

"All our work is gone, Ultron cleared out, used the internet to escape" Bruce said, Tony didn't want to look up, he kept on messing around with everybody's life, when was this going to end? He didn't mean this, then he heard Steve's disappointed voice "Ultron" he said and gave Tony a disapproval look. Tony didn't look away from the robot he was staring at, he tried to understand what had just happened, they weren't close to the codes. He heard them talking about Utron killing someone, Hill said no one else was in the building.

"Yes it was" Tony interrupted and threw Jarvis destroyed holographic operatory system, then he turned to see Steve. Steve understood his pain, but didn't give in, he was still mad about this. Bruce started chatting about it, analysing the damage in a critic way, Steve tried to show his hurt in his words, implying he had died in some honourable way. "No, this is rage" Bruce said and Thor came walking in.  
He walked directly to Tony and pulled his hand at his throat, lifting him in the air, strangling him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, and it's going around" Clint said looking entertained by the scene. Steve couldn't handle it. "Thor, the sceptre" He said and Thor understood who Tony was in Steve's life and just because he really appreciated Steve, he let Tony down.

"I don't understand, you built this program, why is trying to kill us?" Cho interrupted talking straight to Tony, the genius turned around and started laughing, Bruce shook his head "no" he mumbled trying to get Tony back. "You think this is funny?" Thor asked, "No, it's probably not funny… no, right?" He asked and saw how the persons in the room looked really annoyed by him, everyone but Steve who kept looking at him in disappointment. "This is very terrible, this is…" He broke laughing, "This is terrible"

"This could've been avoided if you hadn't played with things you don't understand" Thor said and Tony walked near the man that minutes ago was strangling him "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It is funny, it's comic that you don't get why we need this"

"Tony this might not be the time" Bruce said in a calmed voice, Tony turned to look at him, feeling a bit betrayed "Really? That's it? You just roll over show your belly, every time somebody snarls" Tony said still chuckling "Only when I've created a murder-bot!" Bruce replied still calmed. "We didn't. We weren't even close! Were we close to the interphase?" He asked looking pissed at Bruce, then that voice interrupted him. He really didn't want to fight him.

"Well you did something right, and you did it right here. The avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD" That was Steve. He and his rightful arguments always kept on sending shivers through his body, Tony stepped backwards ": Does anybody remember when I put a missile through a portal, in New York City?" "Nope" Rhodey said pissed but Tony kept on going, he knew using this was low even for him, but he needed an argument that could win Steve's, he saw how Steve's eyes looked lost, it had worked "We're standing right under it. An alien army came right through it. We're the Avengers, we can bust weapons dealers the whole doo-da-day, but that up there? It's the end game. How you guy planning on beating it?" Tony threw the question at the end, looking directly at Steve.

"Together" The cap said, Tony stepped closer and spoke coldly "We'll lose"

"Then we'll do that together too" He said and Tony kept on looking him in the eyes, he saw no fear, no anger, just braveness, love and a shade of disappointment. He managed to walk away from him, he was feeling a terrible confusion, then the image of Steve dying and the world taken, he started sweating.

Steve gave commands to everyone except Tony, he knew, he perfectly knew he wanted to talk with him, so he ran to the penthouse and locked himself in the bedroom, after a few more minutes Steve entered the room, he of course was authorized to every space, he locked the door behind him. "We need to talk" He said and Tony sighed, he was sobbing loudly but trying to hold his tears, he just nodded. He was expecting Steve to jus break up with him, he deserved it, he really did fuck this up.

"I know I fucked this up right? And probably I'll just keep on fucking things up, 'cause it seems I'm screwed" Tony was talking loudly and faster than usual, his voice trembling, his eyes watery, Steve stood there watching him break. "I know you don't deserve this, I know I fucked it… I'm sorry. I just… I understand. You're far too good to be with me" He said breaking at those words, he cried madly, fighting against it.

Steve just sighed and walked near the other man and wrapped his arms around him, Tony dug his fingers in Steve's shirt and sobbed hard for endless minutes, this was pathetic, he was feeling really low and stupid, he mumbled various "sorrys"

"Tony, it's all right. I'm not leaving you. I know you didn't do it on purpose, I know who you are. I trust you entirely, more than anyone, it just hurts you didn't trust me" Steve said and Tony separated from him and stared at those peaceful blue eyes, his red puffiness and his watery cheeks, Steve kissed his forehead "I love you so much Stark, with all your flaws and arrogance, I take it all" Steve said and Tony smiled, like really smiled, because no one, in his 46 years of living had said that to him. Not his mom, nor Pepper, not even Rhodey. He hugged him tighter and then he felt his breath collapsing, shit. He tried to pull apart but was too weak for it, shit! Not here, he didn't want Steve to notice, no! Please no! He tried to step backwards but his knees trembled, there it goes.

Steve felt how the man in his arms was trembling "Tony, Tony are you all right?" he asked preoccupied and Tony didn't answer, he just fainted. Steve took him by the waist and carried him bridal style, placing him in the bed. He was about to call Bruce but Tony came back into his senses "Don't go" he mumbled.

"Tony what's happening?!" Steve asked worried and a bit pissed. "Hug me" He replied and failed in his attempt of hugging Steve, the soldier still worried obeyed, and placed himself behind Tony, spooning him into his own body. After a few seconds he heard how Tony was caught in a deep sleep. He didn't get any sleep that night.


	18. Chapter 18

When his thick eyelashes flew open and his brown gaze adjusted to the amount of light in the room, consciousness and memories from last night haunted him immediately, he needed to run away before Steve wakes up. He moved carefully trying to slide from the muscled arms that were holding him.

"Don't run away" Steve's voice filled the room "shit" Tony mumbled and felt how the grip around his body turned tighter, he turned around to face the blond man behind him "Morning" he shyly said and Steve kissed his forehead. "I need the truth" Again it wasn't a request but a command, Tony sighed.

"You haven't sleep? What kind of human are you?" Tony tried to turn the air lighter "A superhuman, now spit it out Tony" Steve wasn't in the mood of joking, Tony pressed his forehead in Steve's chest, he had a terrible fast mind, many ideas crossed his mind in half a second. Maybe he should tell the truth to Steve, but what was the truth? Truth was that Jarvis had detected some unknown issues on his health since about half a year and he had ignored them, then he had injected himself with Extremis, and apparently it went worse. He didn't know what it was, he didn't want to know. He just kept ignoring it. To tell Steve that will throw two consequences to the frame, first one, the Captain would totally kick him out of the team, and of course, of this mission. The second one, he would insist to get it checked and treated. That could be the wiser decision actually, unless it could not be treated and he was condemned to die. No, that was a terrible idea, he was so afraid. So he chose what he always used to, he chose to lie. Well… not lie, just answer it differently. "I'm waiting" Steve said looking him straight in the eye.

"The Maximoff kid showed me something" Tony whispered and Steve's jaw tensed "Did she hurt you? Why you didn't say anything? Tony! Please trust me" Steve whined and gave him a disapproval look, he pulled the older man closer placing kind kisses in his face, Tony smiled "I'm all right, she didn't do anything physically"

"I need to know Tony" Steve ordered and Tony sighed, well at least this was better "All right, she showed me my future, a future in which I killed the Avengers and destroyed the world, so I decided Ultron needed to be done, he should be an armour around the world, you know, peace in our times. I still don't get it how it happened, we weren't even close" Tony whispered, Steve noticed how his last words were full of guilt, of fear. Fear in himself, so he sighed and hugged him even tighter "You're a genius Tony, you may be many things, but you aren't a murder"

Tony tried to pull away of his grip and Steve let him, the engineer sat on the bed, facing the wide glass wall, giving Steve his back "I killed you" he let those words out in a soft whisper and heard footsteps walking near him, Steve kneeled at the feet of the bed looking straight to him "Tony, we are a team, we take risks, we fight, we win, we lose. No one is responsible. You can't save the world on your own, we're all in this together" Steve softly said and Tony looked down, burying his gaze in Steve's light blue eyes "Believe it or no, you're more in here" he said and with a finger poked Tony's chest "than here" then he with a shy smile poked Tony's head.

Tony tried hard not to melt like a fifteen year old who's been told she's beautiful, so he bit his lip but couldn't contain the wide smile he had in his lips "I love you" he whispered and hugged Steve, the blond one chuckled and wrapped his arm around Tony's waist, he stood carrying Tony, who crossed his legs around Steve's waist.  
It was a beautiful frame, then Hill entered "I'm sorry to interrupt, Jarvis isn't here to announce me anymore" she said and Steve almost dropped Tony to the floor, the engineer rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The captain just nodded and mumbled "I'll be down in a sec" then Maria left with an entertained smile on her lips. When he was finally dressed, he had a long conversation with Maria, Strucker was dead. Steve took the Starkpad and walked to the lab, he saw Clint talking through the phone "Barton, we might have something" he saw how Clint hung up immediately, since when does Barton talk to someone? "Who was that?" Steve asked curious, "Girlfriend" he simply said and followed him.

He entered and found Tony next to Natasha, both looking at the computers, Bruce wandering around behind them, Thor just standing there, watching them. He handed the tablet to Thor "What's this?"  
"A message, Ultron killed Strucker" Thor looked at the screen uninterested and hit Tony with it in a non-nicely way to hand it over, Tony just took it, then an argument started, why would he kill Strucker? He had already given a speech "Everything we had on Strucker's been erased"…"Not everything" Tony said, then they started lifting and opening old printed files.

Bruce was sitting dressing a lovely knitted sweater and looking through the pages "All this people are horrible" he said while looking at the papers "Wait, I know this guy" Tony said and Steve turned to see him, Bruce handed him the folder. "Back in the day he operates off the African Coast, black market arms" He said and Steve turned to give him a disapproval look "There are conventions alright? I meet people, I didn't sell him anything" He immediately said and Steve looked away with a slight smile on his lips. "He talked about finding something new, something changing the world, very like Ahab" he kept on, remembering every conversation he had had with the man.  
"This" Thor said pointing at the man's neck in the picture "Oh, that's a tattoo, I don't think he had it" Tony quickly answered, "No, this is a tattoo" Thor pointed at the arms of the man in the picture, "This is a brand" he pointed again to the neck.

Bruce took the picture and sat in the computer, scanning it and finding it matched from an African language. "Yeah, is a word in an African dialect meaning thief in a much less friendly way" Bruce said "What dialect?" Steve asked "Wakanada… Wa, Wa… Wakanda"  
Tony heard and immediately turned to face Steve "If this man got out of Wakanda with some other tributes" Steve gave him a worried look "I thought your father said he got the last of it"

"I don't get it, what comes out of Wakanda?" Bruce asked and walked closer to Tony, the engineer looked at Steve's shield resting in the floor "The strongest metal on earth"

Everything was good, they assembled to fight, they had a target, they had a plan, everything was like it always was, then it turned into a disaster. A broken defeated team, half of a city destroyed, civilians wounded and Ultron escaping with all the vibranium. It was a disaster.  
When the Hulk finally was sent to sleep, they entered the Quinjet, Bruce was wrapped in a blanket, sweating coldly. Steve went to a corner, he looked lost in his thoughts, Tony gave him a look and decided to give him time, he knew how it felt like, he walked near Clint "You wanna switch?" "No, I'm good. If you wanna get some sleep now is time, there's still few hours before we arrive" Clint answered. "Where?" Tony asked doubting Clint's judgment. "Safe house" he simply answered.

They landed in an unknown place, Tony yawned and opened his eyes, Steve was in the same spot, still lost in thoughts. They all followed Clint "What is this place?" Thor asked "Safe House" Tony repeated Clint's words, they all heard "Let's hope" from Clint. Still they all walked inside.

"Honey, I'm home" Clint said and a pregnant beautiful brunet woman appeared with a shocked glare, she kissed Clint and Tony took a step back "This is an agent of some kind"

"Gentlemen, this is Laura" Clint said and she smiled warmly "I know your names" Laura said chuckling and Tony looked at them with a betrayed glare, then two kids rushed running, Steve unconsciously smiled. On the other side, Tony was shocked "These are smaller agents" Then the girl asked for Natasha and Steve looked at her, when will his team stop hiding things?

"Sorry for barging in" The Captain apologized and Tony followed "We would have called ahead but we were too busy having no idea of your existence" They were talking and Thor suddenly left the room, Steve followed calling his name, the god turned to face him "I saw something in that dream, I need answers. And I won't find them here" He said and lifting the Mjolnir he disappeared. Steve was about to get inside, then Peggy appeared in his mind, Bucky, 1943, he took a step back, he needed answers too. He wanted to move on, why was it being so difficult?

He walked into the woods. After a few minutes Tony walked to the door, no one was there, he sighed "Are you okay?" Bruce asked and Tony chuckled "I'm the one who's supposed to ask you that" Tony said and Bruce gave him a broken smile "I didn't see anything that didn't exist, I saw myself" the engineer understood, he had seen himself too. There's no worst nightmare than facing who you really are, he knew that. He hugged the scientist.

They walked to the living room and sat together, Natasha was with Laura at the kitchen, Tony was shocked, he had never seen Natasha cooking, nor playing with kids and laughing loudly. This was the end of the world, Bruce looked at the small girl that was staring at them.  
"I'll never be able to have this" he said coldly and the engineer took his hand between his "I don't think widow wants this" Tony answered and Bruce smiled "I know Steve does" then Tony gave him a broken smile, he was right, maybe he was out because of the dream, maybe the Maximoff girl showed him his life after winning war, his marriage with Peggy, maybe it had hurt that all of that was lost, and choosing Tony, a man. Well, it couldn't work out in any possible way, he sighed.

"I'm sorry" Bruce apologized and looked him in the eye "It's all right, you're right" Tony mumbled and Bruce dug his head in his hands "I'm sure he loves you enough" "Enough to quit his dreams?" Tony asked back and Bruce didn't say anything. They were in a way stuck in the same path. Then Laura walked near them with two glasses of coke, Bruce smiled shyly.

"You can stay as long as you need, make it your place" she said warmly, Tony mumbled "thanks" then Clint stepped into the living room, he sat in a sofa next to Tony, his son following him "We have two bedrooms available, so you'll have to share" he said already chuckling, Bruce was about to say he could sleep in the couch then Natasha walked in, Tony looked at them and smiled "I pick Steve" he quickly said and Bruce gave him a hatred look "Of course you do" Nat said and smiled at Bruce.

Night fell in, Tony was sitting in the bed looking around the room, everything was so common, so normal, he was feeling really odd in here, it kind of reminded him of his childhood, he found a puzzle in a box and quickly turned it over the table, it was real late at night, half the puzzle was done, then Steve walked in. Tony didn't move nor distracted his attention from what he was doing. "I'm sorry, I went out for a walk" Steve said and Tony hummed. He walked and hugged Tony for behind placing a soft kiss in Tony's hair. "You want to talk about it?" the engineer asked leaving the pieces he had in his hands, Steve whispered a soft "yes" in his ear, Tony stood and watched Steve's watery eyes, he looked broken. He hugged him and Steve wrapped his arms around him, closing his body to his. After few more minutes he talked

"I saw Peggy, and the end of the war. My life if I hadn't been frozen, I was happy. Then everything went away, I was still in the 40's, but I was empty. I listened to Peggy's voice, but it didn't matter anymore" He said and Tony looked him in the eye, he could see Steve's weakness and he tried to be strong enough for both of them, but truth was, he was feeling broken too. Steve wasn't happy here, he missed his life, then Steve still with eyes lost in the dark spoke again "It took me a while to understand why even being there I wasn't completed" he lowered his head to face Tony, with his hand lifted Tony's jaw and looked him in the eye, Tony tried to fake a smile "You were missing" Steve whispered and Tony tried to find the lie in his words, but he couldn't, he wasn't lying. He saw Steve's desperation and felt how his wrists were held by his other hand, he understood and smiled.

"Tony, I can't keep on without you" He said clearly, word spread from the other, Tony tried to look away but Steve didn't let him "We are one. Together" he repeated and Tony's gaze went watery "Together" he repeated and kissed Steve deeply. Their skin was desperate for touch, they needed each other.

Natasha was sleeping tightly when she heard a constant noise and loud moans, she was about to threaten Clint when she heard Tony's voice shouting clearly "St...eve" Her eyes opened in a blink, she saw Bruce looking directly at her face "I know, they've been like this for a while now" the scientist said and Natasha rolled her eyes, covering her ears with the pillow, it was useless, she could still hear the moans "There are kids in the house" she said mad and Bruce smiled "We're talking about Tony" she had to agree that it was argument enough. "I'm having nightmares after this" she said and Bruce leaned closer to her, he smiled shyly. She smiled widely and buried her face in his neck. She was still listening to Tony's screams and Steve's moans, but she was also hearing the constant beat of Bruce's heart. That was enough to fall into a deep peaceful sleep.

Next days were better, Clint of course threatened Tony, fortunately for him the kids didn't ask about last night's noises, Steve was so embarrassed he even tried to apologize to Laura, she just smiled and said that maybe they both could move to the garage. Tony liked the idea, but Steve wasn't really convinced, so they promised to keep it down.

Clint wasn't there anymore, well he was there, but not there with the Avengers, but there with his family. Natasha and Bruce kept on chatting, they took long walks around the farm, it was unbelievable, she was laughing daily and loudly and Bruce was always relaxed.

Tony and Steve kept on doing what they always did, sometimes they had tiny fights, like the one in which Steve couldn't handle the need to tell him to trust the team and Tony had exploded and said that the point about being here was to end the team. Steve didn't want it to end, he could keep on like this all his life, he loved it. But Tony… Tony wasn't really into this, they hadn't had the talk, they just tried to wipe it off and leave it for later. They kept messing around the house, Steve tried to teach him how to cook, but Stark was a complete mess at following anything, rules, commands, recipes. Then Tony tried to teach him the basics about robotics, but it was a mess too. Steve couldn't understand the difference between circuits or connectors, he didn't know any tool, just a screw driver. And he was terrible at math and physics. Still both men were getting closer every day.

Then Fury appeared and managed to lift them a bit, to give them hope. It worked, the team was now together, and stronger. They fought Ultron, saved Cho, they got the ark back, everything was better now, then Natasha got kidnapped, Clint seemed to be the most hurt by it, not even Bruce was that desperate, it was almost the end of this, they were reaching for the last battle, then watching the ark in his lab, Tony couldn't handle it, he tried to get rid of Clint, he successfully did in less than a minute, then he stared at Bruce who was trying to figure a way to break in the ark and stop it. "Yeah… about that…" The scientist understood Tony's intentions "No" he said stepping back, Tony stepped closer "You have to trust me" "I don't" Banner quickly answered, Tony didn't care and walked closer "The ally who's been protecting the nuclear codes… I found him" he said and then showed him Jarvis, Bruce sighed and after Tony's speech he hopelessly gave in.

It was almost done, then Steve walked in "I'm saying it once" he said bossy and mad "What about none?" Tony confronted him "Shot it down" Tony walked trying to hide from Steve's gaze "Nop, not gonna happen" … "You don't know what you're doing" Steve said trying to sound stable "And you do?" the scientist interrupted "she's not in your head?" he asked giving Wanda a hatred look. They were arguing, then Pietro rolled his eyes and ran, in less than a second everything was disconnected. A shot was heard, the glass Pietro was standing in broke, Clint smiled at him "You didn't see that coming" Tony moved to the computer "I'm re-uploading this" Steve really didn't want to, but for the first time in his life, he threw the shield at Tony, it didn't hit him, just the computers, it was extremely calculated. But Tony wasn't subtle, he lifted his arm and the iron man suit started attaching, he fired a repulsor straight to Steve, the Captain was sent out flying. A small battle started, Iron man vs Captain America, Bruce grabbed Wanda and Clint was after Pietro, then Thor came in.

He stood on the ark, lifted the Mjolnir and then, it was alive. Vision was real. He went out flying straight to Thor, the god a bit scared of this unique individual threw him far, Vision could fly, he graciously flew watching New York through the glass, all the Avengers surrounding him, he apologized. Steve didn't trust him, he demanded explanations, Thor explained, then Steve asked him "Why" Thor confessed "Stark is right" Tony couldn't believe his words "Oh it's definitely the end of times" Bruce said dramatically. Steve didn't trust him, he kept on pressing him with questions, Vision walked to the middle of the circle they were forming, he gave such an honest speech, reaching for everyone's flaws and strengths. Then he innocently looked to see them and lifted the Mjolnir, handed it to Thor. "Right, good job" the god said and clapped Tony's shoulder, leaving the room.

Everyone was speechless.

"All right, three minutes" The Captain said and walked to get his shield and uniform ready, in less than a minute he was standing in front of the genius who was now configuring his suit and operatory system "Please don't" Tony said as he saw the blond man approach, he knew what was coming after it "Why you can't trust me?" Steve asked offended, Tony couldn't hide it, he stood up, his eyes sparkling, his voice trembling "Because you don't trust me. You can't. You think I'm messing everything up like I always do, you can't give me a fucking chance to try, you just say no right ahead" He nearly yelled and walked away, leaving Steve speechless.

They were at the Quinjet, and Steve was giving a speech, he always used to, in some way it made everyone feel better, then he said Ultron thought they were monsters and that this fight wasn't about beating him, but about proving if that statement was real. Tony looked up, his face exposing nervousness, after a few more minutes, Steve walked closer to him, sitting next to the engineer "You're right. I'm not giving you a chance. I'm sorry, I trust you Tony" The Cap said and with a soft smile left his side, Tony was still nervous and a bit worried, but he wasn't afraid anymore.

So Steve laid to his word, when the piece of earth was teared apart and sent out flying he had trusted it to Tony completely. He and the other Avengers were clearing the place of civilians, but Tony, he was the one in charge of saving the world… again, he was in charge of exploding it without creating meteorites out of the falling rocks, they were all fighters, they were all heroes, they were all skilled people, but there was just one genius.

At every breath they took it was harder to breathe, they were getting higher. They fought together, bravely. They were a team, and they were "Together" as Tony said. Then they were spread again, the gravity repulsor was shot down, the earth was falling to the ground, Tony already had a plan. "On my mark" he said to Thor who was still there. "NOW!" Tony screamed and the thick rock broke apart, exploding into billion pieces, sinking into the ocean.


	19. Chapter 19

**Epilogue. 2 years later.**

Everything had settled up. They all chose different paths, many critics were thrown at them. Some thought the Avengers had been an emergency plan the government had in case of alien attack, although the government was never related to them. Others thought they had been a dream, it was hard to believe now that the team had existed, everything was so calm, so peaceful, and the guys were never publicly seen (Well, just Bruce, Steve and Tony). People in New York started calling them, but they didn't answer, well they didn't answer in the way they were hoping, so as the months flew by, they had lost hope on them, and in 2 years, they had forgotten them. They were just a good story to tell, more comic books inspiration.

Some guys though couldn't forget and kept on asking: Where are the Avengers now?

Tony shook his hair while walking in circles around his laboratory, he kept on looking at the papers he was holding, he bit his lip and turned the pages, re-reading them and re-calculating the numbers, it was clear as water. No way to escape it now. He stood looking at the huge glass wall he had in his lab, he had the best view at New York that anyone could have. He sighed deeper.

He was dying.

His eyes went watery and even though he tried hard not to let a single tear fall, he failed. His cheeks began to wet and his gaze became blurry, he sobbed. His lungs collapsing from the lack of breath, his heart beating fast. He felt how a hole was growing inside him, how a cold wind sent shivers through his spine, then a heavily tight knot suffocating his throat. Another sob escaped his lips.

Dying.

He didn't want to die, not now. Not now that he was being actually happy, not now when he had stopped surviving and started living. It was a re-birth, Steve had been a re-birth for him…Steve. How will he tell him? How will Captain America react? After losing everyone… Shit.

He sobbed harder, loudly. Jarvis who had been re-programmed spoke "Sir, Do you want me to call Steve?" he asked cautiously and Tony shook his head, unable to talk. He re-read the analysis, it was inescapable. How much time was left?

"I'm dying Jarvis" he muttered under his breath, his voice was inaudible.

"Sir I must insist we haven't lost hope yet" Jarvis replied trying to give the poor man some hope, but Tony was a science man, he knew when he was facing facts and he coldly knew how to embrace them. "There's no way out, we both know it. We've tried everything" He whispered and let himself fall into the floor, he pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop crying! Steve will notice. Stop it!

"Sir, the serum could help, we both know it" Jarvis replied, Tony shook his head again "I haven't been able to recreate it" he mumbled and wiped his tears "Sir, you just need some of Steve's blood and more work to do" No. He did not want Steve to know he was dying, he had kept it secret for so long, three years now. He had lied about his weakness and dizziness. Steve would totally be mad at him, he would hate him… No. He definitely did not want that.

"It's over" he coldly said and gathering all the strength he had left he stood up. He wiped his tears and walked out of the lab, if this was going to be the end of the journey, he wanted to end it doing what he had always been afraid of.

He walked to his bedroom, took a shower, changed his clothes, he grabbed a white formal long sleeved shirt, a black blazer, a pair of jeans and black shoes. He messed up his hair and looked at his own reflection in the mirror. For the first time in many years he was happy with the man that was staring at him at the other side of the mirror, he liked him. He walked again to the lab, he opened an old archive box he had and pulled all the papers out, it was all dusty. At the end of the box he had hidden a smaller black leather box, he pulled it out and took a napkin, cleaning it from all the dust.

He opened it carefully finding the ring he had made to Steve in a desperate attack of having him closer, but then his lack of commitment and his natural fear of giving himself had stopped him from doing it, but now… Now was the time.

He gave the ring a look, when he had his arc reactor removed he had pulled a bit of the new element which was still shining brightly in a light blue tone, and curled it into a ring, it was a thin line which kept on lighting the dark, he smiled. It had been literally giving his heart. He closed the box and walked into the elevator, he got inside and then to the basement. He picked the Bugatti, the motor roared and soon he disappeared.

...

The new Avengers quarterbacks were still working, they never disappeared, they just stopped appearing as a team, but they were still a team, of course some things had changed.

Bruce was back, after 8 months of being lost he had returned and begged Natasha to forgive him, it was hard for the agent not to cry when she saw him hopelessly standing with a backpack at his shoulder and a warm smile. She tried to give him a hard time, but she wasn't really capable of being mean with him, so she forgave him. They were together since then, she was still working as an Avenger agent, and Bruce was still on the research scientific division. He hadn't hulked out for about a year and a half.

Clint hadn't been back since the last battle, not as an avenger, he had come back as a friend, he even took Laura to the headquarters once in a while, his baby boy was now 2 years old and his first word had been "NatBruce" Clint didn't know how to react at that, Natasha had smiled warmly, her eyes went watery, and Bruce had cracked a laugh in excitement holding Natasha by the waist. They were, as Tony said: Disgustingly cute.

Wanda was never the woman she used to be before losing Pietro, it had been hard even to look at the baby that had his brother's name, she was always silent, always alone. And even though Steve tried hard to get to know her, to get her to take the team as a family, it was impossible. The only one that she let near her was Vision. Steve had insisted far too many times, Tony just told him to back off, the girl was trusting Vision and getting along just fine with him, which was more than enough.

Jane was invited to work in the initiative and though she had many scientific business to attend in the outer world, she had accepted. That made Thor moved in immediately, he hadn't been back to Asgard in 2 years now, Jane even helped him understand a bit about science and he used to help her with her paperwork or equations.

They were all a complete working team, they were even more than that, they were family. Steve was staring at Wanda and Vision who were training at the gym, he was wearing black pants and a really tight grey shirt. Natasha was wearing a tight boxer and a top, Bruce wasn't training but he really enjoyed watching her this way, and to be honest who wouldn't? Jane wasn't training either but she liked watching Thor.

After an hour Tony walked inside the headquarters and only found the agents working at paperwork, he quickly guessed they might be training so he headed to the basement. They were there, Steve was at the box ring fighting Natasha. He had an impeccable technique, but she was so much faster and much more flexible.

He could see the crowd divided. Bruce, Jane, Hill and Wanda were on Nat's side. Thor, Sam, Vision on Steve's. He walked closer, Bruce was the first to spot him "Tony!" he yelled excited, Steve couldn't help himself and turned to see who Bruce was greeting, he found his boyfriend standing in an elegant suit and with purple inked sunglasses still on, he smiled warmly and then was knocked out with Natasha's powerful kick.

When the Cap stood up again Tony was now at the box ring staring at him "Wow Cap, you lost conscious for about two minutes, I was beginning to worry" The billionaire said and Steve smiled. It was hopeless, this man kept on making him smile like a virgin teenager even after 3 years of being with him. He shook his head and held the engineer's hand, leaning closer to give him a soft kiss on the lips. The team was now used to them, they were the first Avenger couple (Thor and Clint don't count in)

Tony felt the warm kiss on his lips and tried hard to swallow the immediate nostalgic sob that came from his lungs, he didn't want to die. He couldn't leave this. He took a look into Steve's blue eyes and blushed cheeks, then his smile. So pure, so wide, so breath-taking. He just leaned more and hugged the man, which was weird for someone like Tony who hated sweat, even if it was Steve's sweat. He hated the workout sessions, not because of him sweating, but because he couldn't stand other's people sweat.

"Are you all right?" Steve asked noticing the sudden desperation and anxiety Tony had, Bruce who was staring at them noticed it too. He bit his lip swallowing hard, Tony hadn't been close to him, nor the Avengers. He had quit to the team and decided to work full time on Stark Enterprise. Steve of course had respected that, but Bruce knew, he damn knew something about it was fishy.

"I'm all right, I just… I missed you" Tony said, his voice breaking at the last two words, shit. Steve didn't really believe him, they were living together, is not like if they've been apart for months, and even in that case he knew Tony wasn't this breakeable, he lifted an eyebrow and hugged him closer "You can tell me if something's wrong Tony" he whispered in his ear trying not to gain all the Avengers attention who were chatting loudly in the gym, everyone but Bruce who was staring at them.

Tony shook his head and tried hard not to cry, he bit his lip and took a step back he looked deep into Steve's eyes, getting lost in the blue peace of his gaze, a sudden braveness got into his blood and he got down on one knee "Tony… what are you doing?" Steve's voice was trembling as watching how the billionaire was looking for something inside his pocket, Tony could see how Steve's light blue eyes were becoming glassy and his smile wider.

"Steve Rogers, I've never been a man of rules or social norms. I have a strong lack of commitment and a deep love for troubles, I'm stubborn, moody, irresponsible and cold. I've been many things in my life, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist but you taught me to be human. You handle the worst of me and pull out the best" The avengers attention was caught by those words, suddenly the entire basement fell silent, Tony took out the box, his eyes watery, he opened it showing Steve the ring inside it, Steve let out a sob and chuckled, then cracked a million watts smile. "I know I don't deserve you, but I want you. Would you marry me?" Tony asked.

No one could believe what they had heard… Tony Stark? The Billionaire? The playboy? He had proposed?!

Tony kept down on one knee waiting for Steve to answer, Steve was now crying and chuckling and blushing, and couldn't really manage to say a word. He just frenetically nodded and Tony smiled, he took the ring and reached for Steve's hand. The ring was a perfect fit, Steve saw it had no diamond, it was subtle, it was elegant, it was shining a light blue light that reminded him of the arc reactor, Tony stood and Steve kissed him deeply.

Natasha was the first one that let out a joy scream, then Jane started clapping. Everyone followed and walked near to congratulate them, Steve carried Tony out of the box ring. They all hugged the new fiancées, when Bruce hugged Tony he reached for Tony's ear "I know you're hiding something" he whispered and sent the engineer a tremblor, he broke the hug and smiled warmly to Bruce. He wasn't telling him, not now. At least not now.

After the team joked about the proposal and about how could a billionaire not plan it better, Steve took a quick shower and changed his clothes, he didn't take the ring off his finger. Tony tangled his fingers with Steve's fingers and drove him to a small Italian restaurant.

"Do you really think I screw it up by proposing at that moment?" Tony asked a bit worried about the jokes the guys had told, Steve reached for Tony's hand and squeezed it "I couldn't find a more perfect way to propose, it was completely unexpected" He said and smiled wider, looking at he ring he had in his finger, his eyes went watery every time he stared at it "I've never been this happy in my entire life" Steve confessed and kissed Tony, the engineer chuckled "You mean the 103 years you've lived?" He asked teasing and Steve rolled his eyes, the waitress came and Tony ordered the usual "Yes, I mean of a 103 years, this has been one of the happiest days in my life"

"Top 5?" Tony asked and Steve chuckled but nodded, after a few more minutes Steve still looking at the ring looked back at Tony "Tony, is this from your reactor?" he asked and Tony nodded, Steve tried to get back into the dates, into the years, he had removed his arc reactor after Pepper's wedding, so this ring wasn't for Pepper, but still he had made it. Could this be possible? Could it be possible that Tony had thought of proposing to him even when they weren't… Tony still staring at Steve could read his mind thanks to Steve's obvious impressed glares "Yes" he simply said.

"So you mean, after all this time?" The Captain asked a bit shocked.

"Always"


End file.
